Beware the most dangerous species of IT manager
1. Procurator Martyrus: : "Anything for the good of the company" manager
2. Procurator IlligitimusMaximus: The Mean and Nasty Manager
3. Procurator Teflonius: The Non-stick Manager
4. Procurator Absentia: The Missing link, or "What Manager?"
5. Procurator Insignia: The Flashy Brass
6. Procurator Headinsandia: The "I don't want to hear it" Manager
7. Procurator Buzzwordia: The Buzzword Manager
8. Procurator Amicus Potissimus: The Best Mate
9. Procurator Impatiens: The Two-Minute Manager
10. Procurator Condescendia: The Patronizing Manager
Beware the most dangerous species of IT manager
Bill Detwiler has nothing to disclose. He doesn't hold investments in the technology companies he covers.
Bill Detwiler is Managing Editor Tech Pro Research and the host of Cracking Open, CNET and TechRepublic's popular online show. He was most recently Managing Editor for TechRepublic Pro. Prior to joining TechRepublic in 2000, Bill was an IT manager, database administrator, and desktop support specialist in the social research and energy industries. He has bachelor's and master's degrees from the University of Louisville, where he has also lectured on computer crime and crime prevention.
You represent Tony Blair as"...the highest evolution of [Procurator] Teflonius ever observed on the planet." Your dead wrong! You must work for the liberal media, because nobody represents the highest evolution of Telflonius more than Barak Obama... He's not responsible for anything gone amiss under his administration.... Nada!!
Hmm. All those glass ceilings for women and yet there were plenty of women in this group. This is probably one situation where using she and he interchangeably was not necessary,
Most of these types can also be seen operating within teams, not just at management level. The associated behaviours demonstrate attention seeking, with the main exception of those that really have no desire to perform any work (those that nothing sticks to, shift blame, offload their work and the absentia types).
Once people see through the "look at me" behaviour, these exponents have a limited shelf life, if they were not simply out of date at the time of packaging.
If emotion played no factor, in the roles we play at work, we would all be the same type and Scott Adams would be short of inspiration. At least with a maniacal manager or team member, the workplace is, almost every day, never short of a dull moment.
There is one more type of manager called "Manager Idiotus".....They are mostly found in Middle-Eastern countries...They don't have any good writing, communication and technical skills and are heavily dependent on their South Asian and Philipino sub-ordinates to carry out even very simple tasks.
This stuff applies to all managers across the board. Lame copy/paste from somewhere on the internet as we've all seen this tripe before.
Management by crisis. I once worked for a manager that I learned not to do anything from. That wasn't what he was teaching or advising me to do, it just became the best thing to do. He'd come into my cube and demand that I drop everything to work on the current crisis. We'd come up with a solution that would take a few days to implement. Before I could finish the solution to that crisis, he'd come into my cube and tell me to drop whatever I was working on to deal with the current crisis. Repeat (as in computer form, not shampoo) Therefore it was best not to do anything because you'd never be able to finish any project he would assign.
Been teacher on the use of computer to the older people, the one's that I had deal with in the past, they certain need a really check by getting out of the cupboard sometimes, come on the shop floor and listen to want the problems is and set up and make the computer's better for the using of then...
I bet Isaac Newton or Alan Turing wouldn't get a job these days (even if their skills were up to date). Pretty hard for normal, balanced individuals to get a CV past contemporary HR departments but the cretins listed here seem to fly through. Wonder why?
I had one at my last job - we were forever cleaning up his messes, and once we had them fixed he broke them again! It got to the point where we finally stripped his admin rights back. He kicked up a stink about it, then sort of let it pass. When our top IT guy got poached he said to us "never ever let him have it back." Sadly, the next in line wasn't quite as strong and buckled, and he's been a source of mayhem ever since... thankfully he's not a complete idiot and can learn, so he hasn't repeated a lot of the same disastrous mistakes more than 3 times, but I doubt most P. Icanfixitus folks can... I suppose it helps to get a good butt kicking from the CEO whenever it happens.
Micromanagerious was the worst for me... ended up fired by such a beast and going on disability as a result!
At my last job, we had a manager we nicknamed "Topper" because, no matter what story you told, he had one that topped it. He had been a saleman in his previous job and somehow talked his way into a manager's position. Even stranger, he managed to keep that position for years despite not knowing how to do anything.
That was Kool ... Now let us talk about the 11th one ... perhaps the commonest of the existing species: The "Passing the Buck" Managers: "OK No Probs ... I'll get it done by another resource I have ... You need not worry, perhaps I require a li'l favor from you and it will be done 'just' on TIME" is perhaps the only sentence these kind o managers can utter (Well I meant to say even when they really don't have the resource in real time or the resources are already bogged down under a pressure cooker situation.) But don't worry He will still manage to get sometime outta someone/somewhere!! NOTE: Alternate name for this category: "The TIME Magician (they count on 36 Hrs a day)". Scientific Name : Vicis Veneficus
The Procurator Protectthyselfmaximus. This is the most prolific in the industry. The guy that tells nobody anything about the network, squirrels away common information everyone should know, is intent to ensure he can't be replaced because he is the only one that knows anything about the network. How does that work - it just does. Why doesn't that work - it just doesn't. How much does that cost - U R ? me? When will that be done - It's a complex issue - it will be done when I'm done. In the mean time, the network is a mess, nothing works the way it should, and nobody dares to question the Gawd of the network, out of fear he will quit and leave the entire Company useless. Fire him/her. You don't need them, and the network is a mess because he/she is a mess.
Heck! These don't even have to be managers. I guess it's worse when they are, but I've known some co-workers, resembling one or more types illustrated, who can cause others plenty of trouble with actual managers who suffer only from believing what one of these drips say as if it's gospel truth.
Many of this type of "manager" merely manage the workload and any subsequent blame on some poor suckers shoulders but keep the reward for themselves.It reminds me so much of watching the Apprentice with Sir Alan Sugar...
These f'kers are everywhere. If you can blame someone else for not doing your job and get away with it, you are a bad manager and your manager is of the same ilk, any time any place or anywhere. A poisioned Martini.
Oh, I don't know about that last comment on the last slide - GROT.COM was pretty much a guaranteed rousing success! GROT.COM has lots of content that's not of any use. Some of it is red, some of it is green, and some of it is puce. ROTFLMAO!
But I once worked for a manager who routinely turned down all suggestions by employees because they were not his ideas. Once we figured out that his memory got a bit hazy after about a month or so, we would approach him with the same idea but tell him that it was an idea he "mentioned" during a meeting or some other conversation. He would respond with "I did? Well lets do it". A similar approach worked after he implemented some screwball procedure or policy. We would go along for a week or so, then go back to the previous way of doing things. Occasionally, he would ask about the "new" whatever and we would just tell him that "we tried it, but it didn't work very well". I guess a bit of absent mindedness in a manager can be a good thing.
Now you've got me very interested in job titles in the Netherlands....You are senior management, but you have a "Manager"....???? Is CIO and the like not senior management in Holland? I know its off topic but Im Just curious :P
I know exactly what you mean but in my experience there's been more tech staff like this and fewer managers with this trait. The people like this that boast that, "They can't get rid of me. I'm he only one that knows this! Blah blah blah" are the worst and invariably deserve it when they are taken down a notch or two. There is a sub-species for this one. Protectthyselfmaximus Salarisus. You know, the chaps that horde knowledge then demand a wage rise because of their specialist skills or value. Their mating call is "Give me more money or I'll have to leave, and then what are you going to do? You need me." When bosses show these nasty little vermin the door the look on their face is usually priceless.
I will agree on this one. I've worked this type of manager. Know him as Trade Secret Manager. Never shares what he knows. Never teaches you on anything. Holds the company a hostage. Will send you to trainings not related to your work so you are locked in the company by "training bond". Ever wonder how he made to manager position. Guess being a drinking buddy someone in the Management made this possible for him. BEWARE!
I have known a few of these. I think it also makes them feel more superior because they know more about whats going on than anyone else. Its because they are so useless they have to resort to these tactics (and they know it) ;-)
The tech wannabe that forces IT to give him a domain admin account and then wreaks havoc and blames the legitimate IT staff? That dude is deadly
This 'Top 10' doesnt seem to be very IT specific.... I think you'll find one or more of these in every industry ;-)
Yes, I encountered one of these many years ago. Fortunately he wasn't my manager, but he managed to terrorise one young lady into fearing for her job by telling her (the programmer) what files she had to manipulate and new processes she had to write during the weekend in order to produce an important (but one-off) report, or else. He had never been trained in programming, systems analysis or system design. Nor did he know the data flow through the base systems. In desperation, she asked me for advice during the Sunday afternoon. Knowing the systems involved, I pointed out that if she used one particular file and re-sorted it for her report, she could cut out the entire sub-system from his 'solution'. It took her just 1 hour and she kept her job!
There's also Procurator Rectumlicus. The limpwristed servile do gooder that has a clear tendency to agree with every thing his superior says... Believes getting anything done that his boss asks for whatever his priorities... You know the type... Urgh!
Don't tell the manager what you need, get him to "convince" you that you need it. This is an art. :)
Hi, I work in a very big company. And in the Netherlands they are really missing some points: I think half of the workers in NL are mamagers, so beware if you do businerss with Dutch companies. I have seen some years ago pictures that describe the situation here in NL very well: 20 managers screeming in 1 workers ears to work harder........ ;-))!
Job Securitas. Perceives him or herself as being too valuable to lose. Only problem is, when there is a promotion opportunity, this person is also considered to be "too valuable where they are" and thus never promoted. It happened to me because I unwittingly did my job (too well it seems). I eventually did get a promotion and now that I am retired, I can sit back and laugh at the fact that it now takes 3 people to do my old job.
The ones who feel they should have full admin rights to the domain because they are your manager and should have at least the "privilges" that you do. I fixed one bugger by giving him them, and then everytime something strange happened asking him if he'd used them. First thing I do when I no longer need a level of access is have it taken away from me. I switched departments and therefiore networks once, got a call from my old boss, while I was in work, asked me seeing as I was still there and had rights on his system to fix something for him, so he didn't have to come in. I did what he said and it all went nipples up the following day. F'ker came up and asked me what else I'd done. I learn from my mistakes...
The old 'too many chiefs not enough indians' kind of situation =D Its funny. Not long after I asked you this, a friend of mine in the Holland was saying he will soon be a company [u]President[/u]. He has been trying to start his own business (just him and maybe a partner). I said to him that here we call that 'self employed' :D He replies that because its his own business, he is boss, director, President whatever :D Perhaps he was joking but it made me curious even more as to how business structures work in other countries. I work for a huge company too....and we have an office in NL ;-) Thanks for letting me know :]