As I pointed out in our discussion of the ultimate geek movie, many geeks can carry out an entire conversation by only quoting certain movies; in fact, when it comes to Monty Python, I think it’s one of the things that all geeks should be able to do. But it’s important to mix things up; after all, only quoting one movie can get dull. So, here is a list of classic geek movie quotes to get you started on expanding your ability to speak in geek movie talk.

  • “No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.” – Man with dead body, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I like to use this one when my geek is sick.
  • “We’ll call it a draw” – The Black Knight, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This is a great way to end any dispute.
  • “Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.” – Quint, Jaws. This one is just plain funny. You can also use it in a pinch when you’re put on the spot to give a toast.
  • “At least I’m housebroken.” – The Dude, The Big Lebowski. Friends of ours put this on their wedding favors.
  • “Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.” – Westley, The Princess Bride. This is a great one for teaching the kids about irony.
  • “Remember what Bilbo used to say: ‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.'” – Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Not geeky in and of itself, but it’s still a lovely sentiment. I try to lose my feet every time I step out into the world.
  • “Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ’cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy (animal).” – Jules, Pulp Fiction. Edited for our office-friendly environment.
  • “Honey, you got real ugly.” – Ash, Army of Darkness. I admit to hearing this on occasion first thing in the morning, when my curly hair is wild, and I still have morning breath.
  • “It’s Doctor Evil. I didn’t spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called ‘mister,’ thank you very much.” – Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Show some respect.

This is not a definitive list — these are just the quotes that most frequently come to my mind. Please share your favorite geek quotes in the discussion.

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