Let’s get started.  Last night, I had a conversation with my son and it went something like this:

“Who do you think has the more powerful optical weapon, Superman with his Heat-Ray/X-Ray vision, or Cyclops, with his optical blast?”

“Well, Superman’s stuff can see through walls, or heat up a sandwich.  Maybe he could use that to cook a meal in another room or something.  Cyclops can blast through a mountain.  That’s useful; I can think of a lot of folks who need to be blasted through a mountain.  I think Cyclops’ blast is way more powerful.”

“But Cyclops’ blast wouldn’t faze Superman, but Superman’s Heat-Ray would burn Cyclops.”

“Nope, the back blast from Cyclops would send Superman hurtling through a mountain before Superman got Cyclops even warm.  Case closed!”

“Superman would see Cyclops through a wall, and come around the back way.  Cyclops would never get a shot off.”

“Oh, so now you’re using Superman’s superspeed?  That’s a different subject.  You didn’t ask who would win the fight, just who had the more powerful optical weapon.”

“I suppose you’re right.  But Superman also doesn’t get tired.  Where’s the energy coming to power Cyclops’ blast?”

“Out of his body, duh.  E=mc2?  Sound familiar.  He only has to use a little body weight for a powerful blast.”

“Oh?  Then let’s change for a second… where does Peter Parker get his webs from?  You can’t say he’s making them up out of his body, because he puts out a LOT of webs.  He must string Manhattan with a couple pounds of webbing every time he goes out!”

“Thirst… massive thirst.  He must drink a lot of water to make the webs.  After all, that’s one of the major components of spider webs coming out of a spinneret, which then dries.”

“Hmmm.  But that much water would cause an electrolyte imbalance.  He would drop dead in days.”

“Sports drinks.  They’re made to prevent that.”

“Then riddle me this: why doesn’t Gatorade or Powerade have Spiderman as their spokesman?”

“The world will never know.”

“That’s a Tootsie pop.  We’re talking superheros and sportsdrinks.”

Well… when two Geeky guys get together, you have bizarre conversations.