Finally, a quantum physics joke that even the New Age tree-hugger pseudoscience types in your office will get behind: “I find dark energy repulsive.” Yes, dark energy is the theoretical mechanism behind the accelerating expansion of the universe, but it’s also those “negative vibes” the dreamcatchers-and-unicorns crowd accuses you of spreading during mandatory software upgrades. Now, when they criticize your demands that they stop loading their Trojan-stuffed “Inspirational Quote of the Day” screensaver onto the office PCs, you can just point to the shirt and tell them to keep it positive and to begin moving away from you at a infinitely increasing velocity. Awesome.