Are you like most mad scientists, wondering how to put that fantastically decorative Jacob’s Ladder to more practical use? Or, are you a typically underfed IT pro with access to excess copper wire and soldering guns, but nary a hot plate in sight? Then you, sirs and madams, are really just gourmet chefs waiting to happen.

First up, Serious Eats shares how to “safely” cook your finest fruits, meats, and cheeses using an open electric arc. (Hint: It’s best to use some UV-resistant goggles, so you don’t fry your retinas.) Just remember, it’s very easy to burn hors d’oeuvres when you use them as conductors. But that’s just for you fancy folks with the safety gear and the calibration systems that let you tune to the precise conduction point of air.

For the common food hacker, there’s the Russian Hot Dog Oven, which is really just two metal forks hooked up to a 220-volt power source. It will perfectly roast an all-meat frank if you time it right. Time it wrong, and your electro-snack will explode. You have to respect a recipe that offers a legitimate possibility of mystery meat detonation. Thanks, Geekologie.