A long time ago, in a Geekend far, far away, we compiled a list of the 10 Most Quotable Geek Films…Ever! As time (and incessant blog comments) have taught me, that list was woefully incomplete. Thus, we bring you the 25 films that are not only near and dear to the average geek’s heart, but have produced at least one indispensable quote that can and should be used at every opportunity.
25. UHF: “Today we’re teaching poodles how to fly.”
24. The Usual Suspects: “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
23. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: “You have chosen…wisely.”
22. WarGames: “The only winning move is not to play.”
21. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: “KHANNN!!!!”
20. They Live: ” I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.”
19. Caddyshack: “And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice. “
18. The Blues Brothers: “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.”
17. Aliens: “I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
16. Office Space: “If they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire.”
15. Serenity: “I aim to misbehave.”
14. Superman II: “Kneel before Zod!”
13. Goonies: “Sloth love Chunk!”
12. Die Hard: “Ho-ho-ho. Now I have a machine gun.”
11. Army Of Darkness: “Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the gun.”
10. The Matrix: “I know kung fu.”
9. Tombstone: “I’m your Huckleberry.”
8. Spaceballs: “What’s the matter Colonel Sandurz, chicken?”
7. Airplane: “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”
6. Real Genius: “I was contemplating the immortal words of Socrates who said, ‘I drank what?'”
5. Ghostbusters: “Back off man, I’m a scientist” or “Listen! You smell something?” or, as always, “He slimed me!” Perhaps the first truly great geek quotefest.
4. Pulp Fiction: “‘What’ ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of. They speak English in What?” or “Nobody’s gonna hurt anybody. We’re gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what’s Fonzie like?” or…about 200 other great lines that our standards of conduct prevent me from quoting here. But it’s awesome, and you know it.
3. The Princess Bride: “Inconceivable!” or “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. ” Or, the ultimate token of love, “As you wish!”
2. The Empire Strikes Back: “Luke, I am your father!” plus “Scruffy-looking nerfherder!” plus pretty much every cool thing Yoda has ever said. Strong in the quotes is this one.
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Lots of Monty Python films have irreplaceable and timeless dialogue, but this was the troupe’s magnum quotable opus. Don’t believe me? Then recall…
- “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. “
- “Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”
- “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”
- “If she weighed the same as a duck…she’s made of wood.” “And therefore?” “A witch!”
- “What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
You get the point. A geek would be justified in quoting pretty much the entire movie, and I can think of at least a dozen personal acquaintances who could do so. Unbidden. During pretty much any D&D session. But then, we’ve all been there.
Honorable mentions: Back to the Future, Bladerunner, Big Trouble in Little China, Buckaroo Banzaii Across the 8th Dimension, The Godfather, Young Frankenstein, and Ronin. Think we missed a film, or just need an excuse to throw out a favorite quote? See you in comments section.
Related Geekend post: So many geek movies, so many quotes.