Have you ever heard of the Unintelligent Design theory of life? Yeah, me neither — until today. After reading the argument, typos and all, I must say that it makes a compelling case for the existence of an omnipotent, omnipresent, generally stupid creator being.

Key points in the argument include:


  1. The intelligent design people say there are too many holes in the fossil record, and that evolution is only a theory; the scientists say there’s not enough evidence of intelligent design. So we say, instead, that life has indeed been designed, just not very well.
  2. There have been 23 elephant-like animals in history, and yet only two survive today (and we add, they’re not doing very well). Clearly, this is the mark of an all-powerful creator who is stuck on the same stupid idea and can’t figure out why the hell they keep dying off. Hmm, perhaps it’s because giant, big-eared mammals with huge, prehensile noses are ridiculous?
  3. The fossil record is littered with animals that prove God, er, whatever magical force designed life, is several fries short of a happy meal. I mean, look at the Dodo. Unlike other huge, successful birds like eagles and buzzards, our creator decided the next big thing would be a huge bird with teeny-tiny wings that didn’t do squat. Add to this the fact that the stupid things practically jumped into the Portuguese sailors’ cooking pots themselves.
  4. Look at this scientific reconstruction of life 505 million years ago. Now, what does this remind you of? A, a well-designed ecosystem, or B, the cover to a really bad science fiction novel? Objectively speaking, I think we all realize it’s B.


See what I mean? Strong arguments. It may just change your outlook on Life, the Universe, and Everything.