You won’t receive a golden statue. You won’t find a red carpet flanked by limos and starlets in sequined gowns. The TechRepublic award for worst e-mail is utterly lacking in celebrity appeal.

Instead, our contest generated a different kind of excitement. It created a collective sense of contempt for those who disregard grammar, spelling, and common sense in their electronic correspondence.

TechRepublic asked you to send us your worst e-mail. We received hundreds of entries—each of them written terribly in their own way. The judges chose their top five favorites. Let’s count down to number one.

#5 Is this English or secret code?
Situation: A systems analyst created more problems when he wrote this e-mail to explain a problem.
Nominated by:Scott
Will the unti cost in momsat that has change now since you have fix it—will it update THE AIM ICS STD COST TO-NIGHT Because I will need to send mass ICS act again because some Std(wrong) went to Vista—

Sandy also says that last yr he did not key ing sytle no that they were their with the cost and he just changed the cost What on lstovr

#4 Enroll your student in Spellchecker 101
Situation:A student sent this e-mail to his computer instructor. Should the teacher deduct points from his next exam?
Nominated by: Richard M.
i am ussualy home before classes in the morning-before 9 on wed. and thursday.. and b4 1200on monday..of b4 2on tuesday.and friday

my major is microsoft networking i expect to learn how to better maintain a PC within a home and network inviorment..

#3 Big problems with no problems
Situation: A customer who complained about software received this reply from the company’s “CustomerCare” department.
Nominated by: Armin Q.
“Dear <professional>,
What probleme you refering to? We no problem have with window 98 or toher system. We do not have any problemsrunning <Software product> on these operating system. None of our customer have such problem. What you talking about?

Thank You, “<company> CustomerCare”
Think B4 U trash awful e-mail! Save it so you can enter our next contest.Do you have a policy that requires that e-mail maintain professional standards? Why is e-mail so sloppy, and why is it sloppy so often? Post a comment below or send us a story idea.
#2 Buyer beware
Situation:A salesman didn’t impress a potential customer when he pitched his product with this e-mail.
Nominated by: Fine
Dear Mr.Jones,

Looking for a siample and easy installation device you don’t have to apply another telephone line but all staff in your office could connect Internet, buy another printer server, or buy another fax sever? Looking for the CD-R’s? Look no further. Right here. We are pleased to inform you that we can provide you these products exactly what you need.

#1 And the winner is…
Situation:A manager is demanding information from his co-workers. He combines bad spelling with a belligerent attitude. Bravo!
Nominated by: Joe C.
Good Morning,

I asked for various of information from you on last week (data sheets). From some of you, I have received it (I thank you); from other I’m still waiting. My job to me (after 20 years is just as important as yours). I’ve got a doctrine’s degree in software. The administrative assistants and secretaries is what make the company run more smoothly (believe it or not). It does take a brain surgeon to do any of these jobs (some people just think it does). And if you really think that, I have a big surprise for you.

I don’t ask for much, but when I do I expect to receive it (pertaining to my job). Something I will not let you do, is make me look bad.

Prizes Prizes Prizes
Fortunately, our medium doesn’t allow our contest winners to give long speeches to thank their fans and agents. Congratulations and a TechRepublic T-shirt go to Scott, Richard, Armin, Fine, and Joe for nominating these entries.
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