Everything wrong with 'Return of the Jedi'

ewok1.jpgForget the three prequels, the absolute most disappointing film in the Star Wars franchise is Return of the Jedi. DOn't believe me? Fine, then take a look at this list from FilmThreat, which lists 50 Ways Return of the Jedi Failed. While I won't recount every item here, below is my Top 10 List of Ways Return of the Jedi Went Wrong.

  1. Ewoks
  2. Luke and Leia = Brother and sister
  3. The lame demise of Boba Fett
  4. Stormtroopers that can't kill Ewoks
  5. Chewbacca's "Tarzan" yell
  6. The fish people are called Mon Calamari
  7. You can wipe out a Super Star Destroyer with one lucky A-Wing crash
  8. Taking shiny gold Threepio and bright white Artoo on a mission where everyone else wears camouflage
  9. Rebel strike teams that get captured by Ewoks
  10. The invincible Emperor dies like Wile E. Coyote

Oh, and just for good measure--Jedi could have been directed by David Lynch, but the fiendishly avante gard director turned Lucas down. Now, given that Lynch didn't exactly do the greatest job with Dune, he might not have been able to salvage Jedi, but at least the failure would have been spectacularly more interesting.

By Jay Garmon

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...