Hey Dracula - Mathematics 'proves' you can't exist

From LiveScience via Yahoo News via Whedonesque: Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says.

Vampire mathCostas Efthimiou is a University of Central Florida physics professor claims he has mathematic proof that the vampires—at least as they are depicted in legend—simply can't exist. The logic goes something like this:

"On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600.  A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on."

Playing devil's..er...Dracula's advocate, here's where the 'proof' breaks down: Vampires can feed without turning the victim into a vampire. In most versions of the legend, there is some level of ritual involved—bitten three times, then fed the blood of the sire vampire, usually—that confers vampirism upon a victim. Otherwise, you're just a walking happy meal. So nice try, professor, but you're going to have to do better than that to prove that bloodsucking nosferatu are epidemeologically impossible.

By Jay Garmon

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger — amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...