Never mention crap culture in the presence of sMoRTy71

Okay, file this under Bizarre Life Lessons You'll Almost Certainly Never Need. For reasons not really worth getting into, I threw out a quote from Kevin Smith's Dogma today, the one where Bartleby and Loki are fighting about who owes who money from a bet over which would be the bigger movie, E.T. or Krush Groove. And I say this one cube over from sMoRTy71, who has both a NetFlix account and a Rhapsody subscription.

Big mistake.

In a matter of seconds we're all subjected to the musical stylings of the Krush Groove soundtrack. Worse, Rhapsody apparently has some method of clustering the worst hate crimes ever comitted to audio media, and once sMoRTy gets bored with Krush, we're subjected to selections from Pat Boone's heavy metal cover album.

I am not making this up. It's only 2:30, and Rhapsody is a bottomless well of these sounds.

Pray for us all.

By Jay Garmon

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...