Forget guarding the building — you guard the Internet
, as proclaimed by this gloriously self-serious Network Security T-shirt
, which also has a quaint faux-rent-a-cop badge insignia on the front. Per usual, your source for such sartorial supremacy is ThinkGeek, which is currently discounting said item by $5 if you also purchase Kevin Mitnick
's hacker-squeals-on-other-hackers book, Art Of Deception: Controlling the Human Element Of Security
. For those who don't remember Mitnick, he was one of the blackest Black Hats ever brought down, and after a few years in prison, he capitalized on his infamy by becoming a security consultant (think Catch Me If You Can
, only with a doughy compu-nerd instead of Leo DiCaprio). I have no idea if it's a good book, but it's probably just scary enough to get your manager to approve that new firewall budget you've been bugging him about. Give him the book, and keep the shirt. It's a win-win scenario.