IT consultant Chip Camden offers a techy take on the classic holiday poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
'Twas the night before Christmas (or "holiday break")
But I was still working -- I kicked off a rake.
Secure shells were placed on my desktop with care,
So no one could sniff what I typed away there.
My clients' hot issues were all put to bed,
But what those had preempted still caused me to dread.
So I in my bathrobe ('twas cold in that room)
Had just settled down for a long game of Doom.
When out on the WAN there arose such a mess
I thought that it must be a DDoS!
Away to the firewall I flew like Jet Li
Denied all incoming, even SMTP.
But as I more closely inspected each packet,
I realized with awe what was causing the racket:
A download! What format? I couldn't have known it
But I found it included a textual component:
On Haskell! on Clojure! on Scala and Groovy!
To the Web-facing site, to the edge firewall,
Now bash away, bash away, bash away all!"
The download completed, though I tried to abort,
And a little man popped out a USB port!
His glasses -- how thick! His gut -- a real softy!
And his beard was all stained with cold pizza and coffee.
He was nerdy and plump, a right jolly old geek,
Though he smelled like he hadn't had a bath in a week.
He spoke not a word, but went right ahead
He wiped off all Windows, installed *nix instead
The software I'd need, he downloaded it all
(Still using less space than a fresh Win install).
In the USB port he inserted his thumb
And vanished right into it the way he had come
But I heard him exclaim, ere I even had missed 'im
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good system!
With sincere apologies to Clement C. Moore, or whomever wrote the original version.
Note: This post was originally published on December 17, 2008.