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Another Friday another yuk!!!

By sleepin'dawg ·
Tags: Off Topic
A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat
conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the
opportunity, he took the seat.

As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind

The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look.
A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched
off her top, revealing two pasties. The guy behind our friend
goes off again. "YEAH BABY! SHAKE THOSE THINGS."

Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!"

After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched
off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string. Again the man
behind our friend yelled out, "OH BABY! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!"

Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the
**** up, will ya!"

A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and
snatched off both the pasties and the G-string, and the whole
club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious,
our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your
enthusiasm now"?

The guy responded, "It's on your back, dude."

Dawg ]:)

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The Bailout Bloat

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

The $700 billion "bailout" for Wall Street -- officially known as the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 -- contains multiple "earmarks", or special funding for various pet projects, that add as much as $100 billion more to the costs.

The first proposal by the Treasury Dept. was 3 pages. The failed House version was 110 pages. The final bill that was passed was over 450 pages.

Some of the earmarks tucked into the bill's pages by both Democrats and Republicans include:

$2 million tax benefit for manufacturers of toy wooden arrows for children
$100 million tax break to benefit automotive racetracks
$192 million in rebates for the Puerto Rican and Virgin Islands rum industry
$224 million for temporary emergency penthouses for financial company executives
$148 million in tax relief for U.S. wool fabric producers who use imported yarn
$49 million tax benefit for fishermen and other plaintiffs who sued over the 1989 tanker Exxon Valdez spill
$48 million a year for film and TV producers who produce their work in the United States
$33 million tax credit for select corporations earning income from American Samoa

The punch line? All of those provisions are true -- except for one. Can you figure out which one is fake?

(Source for the true earmarks: Taxpayers for Common Sense. The fake one: the $224 million for FEMA temporary emergency penthouses for financial company executives.)

Dawg ]:)

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That's not funny

by HoagieBP In reply to The Bailout Bloat

Although the economic bailout package can certainly be classified as a "joke", it is not funny. Not in any manner, shape or form.

Definition of bi-partisanship: When the Republicans have their hand in your one pocket and the Democrats have their hand in the other.

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Is this a sign

by The Scummy One In reply to The Bailout Bloat

$2 million tax benefit for manufacturers of toy wooden arrows for children

That the kids should be killing each other? Or that when injured, they all sue the manufacturer (which then needs a bailout? :0

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Your right Scummy

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Is this a sign

The Makers of the Toy Wooden Arrows should have Incorporated Metal Tips so that there are no survivors to sue.

Col ]:)

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Aaah, the real goal

by w2ktechman In reply to Your right Scummy

is to skewer the parents when the kids get po'd. Maybe I oughtta start a biz, real spears and arrows for brats

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And here I thought you would have a Full Time Job

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Aaah, the real goal

When you start the US Branch of Who Wants to Hunt a Politician.

Selling the right weapons and ammo so that the Polies don?t die too fast, as well as locating where the Polies may be should keep you busy till you run out of Polies and those how have shown a desire to be a polly.

It?s also doing the planet a Massive Favour by getting rid of the Riff Raf who Pollute the Gene Pool. :0


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Here's another one...

by shanse3 In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

Two cows are grazing in a field. One says, "Hey, did you hear about that mad cow disease? Pretty scary, huh?" The other on looks up and says, "Oh yeah, that sounds really bad. Good thing it doesn't affect us helicopters!"

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by critch In reply to Another Friday another yu ...

...sets a turtle on the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the turtle.. one leg is all crooked, it's got a black&blue eye and there is duck tape on it's shell.
Bartender asks "What's with the turtle"
The guy replies "That's my Racing Turtle. I'll bet a $50 that he can touch the far wall before you can!"

The bartender says "you're on.."

Man says, holding his turtle, "On the count of three... 1....2....3"

And he throws the turtle against the far wall....

"I Win"

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So this baby seal walks into a club...

by shanse3 In reply to Another Friday another yu ...


What's black and white and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.


A drunk guy was walking home one night, when he sees a nun walking on the other side of the street. He immediately runs over, pushes her down and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of her. The cops show up momentarily, wrestle him off the poor nun, and handcuff him. As he's being carted off, he yells back, "I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman!"


This drunk guy was staggering home, walking with one foot on the curb and one in the gutter. A cop stops him and says, "Sir, I'm going to have to take you in, you're obviously drunk." The drunk guy breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

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:^0 -- bad but, somehow

by The Scummy One In reply to So this baby seal walks i ...
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