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bullying and discrimination and harassment in forums

By NZ_Justice ·
When a site decides to set up forums, they do so with good intentions, a place where people can share their ideas and knowlage with other people, and any one can be accepted. Weither they are 1 or 100 or any age inbetween, smart or dumb, good english, bad english or no english. Yet it appears people in forums once they take an offence to something they just turn nasty, then becuase they been around for a while they get all their friends aganist this person too. Then mob rule takes over and they go on a richeous crusade to cleanse the ethnic minorities from the forum area. It's just a forum, people still live their lives outside of it. Why bully, discriminate and harass?

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Sorry, dude. . . . .

by maxwell edison In reply to Don't you....

I don't need you tell tell me "my place". Take your kite and shove it.

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Nice post...

by UncleRob In reply to Sorry, dude. . . . .

Did you learn that type of eloquence from your Executive IT/IS Management school or did you come up with that yourself.

- seems like I'm finally making my point clear to you, doesn't feel nice to be bullied does it? No matter how you were trying to prove your point to this kid, your post did nothing to get your opinion across, all it did was show that you could lower yourself to someone else's standard's, if you're mature & professional enough, you should know that this never works.

In the future, I hope you'll keep your caca mouth clean in other discussions and tone down the bullying. Older, Younger, who cares about the age of the person involved, no one needs you to rant like that on them.

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The only point you are making is this. . .

by maxwell edison In reply to Nice post...

.
http://tinyurl.com/6wbv

No go away, kid, you bother not only me, but all of us.

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wow, you're good...

by UncleRob In reply to Nice post...

"Go away kid",
heck I wish I was young, I haven't been that young in too many years to mention.
I am happily married and have 2 young children (kids as you call them) and have been working in this biz since the late 80's.

That link to that site was very cute, mind you I wouldn't know where to look for a link like that, since that kind of stuff is childish.

No worries, this will be my last post to you, replying to you appears to be a waste of energy and at my age I have to save that energy for playing with my own kids, not someone elses.

Cheers..... ;-)

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Family man

by rjhenn In reply to Nice post...

So, UncleRob, if your kids act like idiots, do you correct them, or do you let them become idiots?

If they're out in public, and you're not around, and they act like idiots, do you want someone else to correct them, or do you want them acting like idiots?

There are too many idiots and not enough non-idiots to correct them. Not to mention idiots making laws that protect idiots from being corrected. Or idiots trying to correct the non-idiots.

Don't be an idiot.

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Yes I'm a family man and darn proud of it!

by UncleRob In reply to Nice post...

Since you bring up a discussion and mention my kids, let's get into this:

My kids are young, I have a girl & a boy, ages 4 & 2 respectively. They're both beautiful children who get their looks from their beautiful mother. If you're interested send me your email address and I'll email you a pic of them - I'm that proud - they truly are beautiful. And at their young age they know perfectly well to say "please" & "thank you", to be friendly, to smile, to thank god & jesus for what they have, to laugh & play and to be young, I don't need them growing up any faster and becoming more mature yet, let them be little is what I always say. At their young age or any age for that matter, I would never call them idiots or refer to them as such. I can only hope & assume (heck they're my kids, I can assume as much as I want) when they grow up, mature and become adults that they only improve upon their existing excellent nature.

Be that as it may, if my children ever acted in an unruly matter, and I wasn't around for whatever reason to correct this behavior I would certainly want someone to "correct" them as you put.

However, correcting someone doesn't & shouldn't require insulting them, putting them down or making them feel small. That type of behavior only leads to the same behavior over & over again. People who are abused often repeat this cycle by abusing others, how that helps anyone I have no idea. If you can show me the connection between verbal abuse and improved response & maturity please do so because I can't possibly fathom a congruent connection between the two. Still not convinced, email Dr.Phil, maybe he can set you straight on that theory.

If you read all the posts leading up this, you will see that I didn't like how "Max" tore a strip off of NZ and then at the end of his rant made it sound like he was speaking for all of us, No Thank You, I speak for myself. I don't need someone with a severe case of CACA mouth speaking on my behalf ever s'il vous plait! (if you please!)

Even if you don't like NZ because of what he's said in previous posts, you don't win any points by lowering yourself to his level or lower and then beating up on him and telling how worthless, immature, young & stupid he is and then finish it off by telling him to change his alias and let us all know that this is on behalf of all of us. Please spare me this authoritarian fascist rabbit turd that you're trying to feed everyone.

The feel of his posts make you believe that he is saying "My view is right and you are wrong and that's that" - wow, you're really open-minded, don't stop now tell us how you really feel.

If the misc category is a place to hang out and get our fill of "water cooler talk", I would not consider Max's rant as content appropriate for a water cooler discussion. That's just my opinion, feel free to disagree/agree.

But before you judge anyone, follow this simple rule of thumb and if you have a clear conscience then go ahead, I won't ever stop you either way:

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

BTW - I'm not an idiot and I don't plan on pursuing that endeavor anytime soon. I hope you take your own advice and do the same.

Cheers... ;-)

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Interesting response

by rjhenn In reply to Nice post...

First, you're the one who mentioned your kids (this may be a bit confusing, but since we're at 'maximum message level' I'm having to post the reply to the previous level).

Second, what constitutes 'verbal abuse' is difficult to quantify objectively. Some people react badly to _any_ criticism, some respond positively to the harshest invective. Trying to raise all kids with the exact same methods often has unintended, and undesired, results. Given that, raising kids that can't take any criticism (because they've never been criticized) is just as bad as raising kids that are 'abused'.

Third, don't confuse me with "Max". We are two separate people. We probably agree on some things and disagree on others (though I'm usually right where we disagree 7;-]).

Fourth, for someone who doesn't think that you should judge people, you're very judgemental. But that often seems to be true of people who throw around the "first stone" quote.

By way of background, I also have a boy & girl, ages 20 & 18. They're both polite to strangers, exceedingly bright, with a great sense of humor and their own quirks. So, been there, done that.

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I wonder where this is going....

by UncleRob In reply to Nice post...

I'm reading your reply and I'm wondering where this is going but I'll respond nonetheless to your post:

You wrote: "First, you're the one who mentioned your kids (this may be a bit confusing, but since we're at 'maximum message level' I'm having to post the reply to the previous level)."

In one of Max's replies he alluded to the possibility that I was just another kid, of which I assured him that I'm adult, married with children - this is where the reference to kids came about. You reply the previous previous post asked me if I would want someone to correct my kids if they acted like idiots - I responded to that in my previous post so I have no need to repeat that here again.

You then wrote: "Second, what constitutes 'verbal abuse' is difficult to quantify objectively. Some people react badly to _any_ criticism, some respond positively to the harshest invective. Trying to raise all kids with the exact same methods often has unintended, and undesired, results. Given that, raising kids that can't take any criticism (because they've never been criticized) is just as bad as raising kids that are 'abused'."

Verbal abuse is only difficult to quantify when you're the person dishing it out and not receiving it, I'm sure if you were the person on the receiving end of Max's "caca mouth", you would find that it's pretty easy to quantify but I guess that's an opinion so you have yours and I have mine.

Next you wrote "Third, don't confuse me with "Max". We are two separate people. We probably agree on some things and disagree on others (though I'm usually right where we disagree 7;-])."

- No worries, I wouldn't confuse you or anyone else with Max, you haven't released a torrent of hurtful verbage yet from what I've read so far so it's pretty easy to tell you guys apart - you sound like a much calmer, open minded individual which would mean to me that you're also quite intelligent.

Next you wrote "Fourth, for someone who doesn't think that you should judge people, you're very judgemental. But that often seems to be true of people who throw around the "first stone" quote."

Yes that "first stone" quote does get thrown around very often, but you'll notice I wasn't judgemental, my replies to Max were based on the fact that he spewed forth nasties against another TR member and then said he did so on behalf of all of TR members, I didn't agree with that then or now - that's not judgemental, that's just speaking for myself - I did nothing but make observations based on the posts that he provided. I never attacked him, I simply told him that his caca mouth has no place in this forum and he continued to rant on regardless. I don't hate anyone, I however do not like it when people assume to speak on my behalf without asking first.

Lastly you wrote "By way of background, I also have a boy & girl, ages 20 & 18. They're both polite to strangers, exceedingly bright, with a great sense of humor and their own quirks. So, been there, done that."

I'm glad to hear you're a parent as well, and although I would never refer to being a parent as "been there, done that" as it's a little bit more involved than that, I am glad to hear that you've raised them to such high standards: the world always needs more polite, bright & funny people. I aspire to promoting & developing the same qualities in my own kids.

It would appear that Max himself could benefit from the same qualities, I'll even assume that he has them, in my opinion he would do better if he made use of those qualities on more regular basis. Putting other people down doesn't achieve anything other than hurt feelings - that's something we can all do without.

Being professional doesn't just start & end at the office, becoming a pro in your personal life often pays the types of dividends & rewards that you can't get from your employer, paycheque or stock options.

Just my 0.02 cents cdn, feel free to agree or disagree.

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Geez, Louise, UncleWrong

by darinhamer In reply to Nice post...

UncleRob, you ARE judgemental and need some of that bully training yourself. Good grief, even if what Max said is wrong, you have made him out to be the biggest villain since Hitler. That IS judgemental. You can't say what he might be like if you met him on the street just because of what he posted here. And, quite frankly, you have taken a lot more words (and I do mean a lot more) to say basically the same thing to him that he said to the original poster. You have been very nasty. Stop with the "ca-ca mouth" business.

Read all of your posts again and tell me that you are being professional or respectful. Honestly. Take a good look in the mirror, my friend. You've been very hostile.

And by the way, the earlier post about the Canadian money, IT WAS CLEARLY A JOKE. You know, funny; not to be taken seriously. Ha, ha. So don't take it so seriously. It was funny.

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You just don't get it

by jdclyde In reply to bullying and discriminati ...

I tried to help, but you didn't want to follow my advice. Your choice.

I told you that people are going to judge you by your actions. You continued with the same actions, and now that you have been judged you act surprised and want to play the victim?

I would bet you will be very hard pressed to find members that are under 25 on this board. They are working professional, most in this field for years.

When people join in as a productive member with something valid to say, there isn't an issue. When they go off like a kid that their parents never told to sit down and shut up in a library, someone else is going to stand up and tell you to sit down and shut up.

This is not bullying or discriminating. This is deciding that you have chosen to be a poster that many here have no use for. Expect to have more flames come your way, provided people will even respond to you anymore.

underage has already gone past where I will even acknowledge him and is a complete waste of mine and everyone else heres time.

I see you deciding to go in that same direction. Sad. This is a good place, with good people. They are just not childish and have no tolerance for people that are.

If you decide you would like to be a part of TR after all, I think it is too late for that account. Do as MAX said and make a new account and start over. I don't see that account being accepted now.

You have been judged, now you have no one to blame for the sentence but yourself. I tried. I failed. Good luck.

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