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Canadian Friday smile

By Bob in Calgary ·
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about American churches. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would work his way across the country from South to North. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read $10,000.00 per call. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000.00 one could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and asked a nearby nun what its purpose was? She told him that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000.00 he could talk to God.

"O.K. , thanks" said the American.

He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston New-York., N. Dakota, and Montana In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same $10,000.00 per call sign under it. Upon leaving Montana, the American saw a sign for CANADA and decided to see if Canadians had the same golden telephone. He arrived in Calgary Alberta and again there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read 25 cents per call. The American was surprised and intrigued so he asked the priest about the sign, "Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state the price was $10,000.00 per call.
Why is it so cheap here.?"

The priest smiled and answered: "You're in Canada now son, it's a local call."

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I'm pretty sure

by maecuff In reply to I still feel guilty for t ...

That impersonating God gets you the 'extra fire and brimstone' room in ****.

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by Oz_Media In reply to I'm pretty sure

Yeah I figure I'll burn extra crispy with that one! You gotta admit though it is funny. The little guy was SO serious, he REALLY thought i made the sun come out. I just followed his lead!

"HONEST St. Peter, it was HIS lead!"

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

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That's not going to get you anywhere..

by maecuff In reply to I'm pretty sure

You're still in the crispy section. I'll bring some good Kansas city rub and we'll have a barbeque.

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Mae is that the room with

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I'm pretty sure

The new computer and latest version of Windows but missing the Ctrl, ALT & Delete Keys?


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Well my wife bought me a copy of Red Dwarf today

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I'm pretty sure

And it one of the episodes I heard it said that Hell was a place where you went with all your friends.

I can live with that as I'd be surrounded by like minded people.


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As long as it's sour

by Oz_Media In reply to I'm pretty sure

You'll just need something sour, I am sweet enough already.

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You? Guilty? No way!

by mlandis In reply to I still feel guilty for t ...

Your friend is a nice guy.

I would have started busting you about the ponies...


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uuuuuh ooooookay!

by Oz_Media In reply to You? Guilty? No way!

My friend is a nice guy? Why for thinking I was a jerk for playing God?

A girfriend's kid for giving me a hug?

And why would you bust me for playing the ponies?

NO whiff to explain myself to! If I pee away cash on horses, so what?

A friend of mine won $7,800.00 on a $1 bet Sunday! DAMN!!!!

The nice thing about racing in Canada, people from the states FLOCK here to gamble. THis brings a lot of out of town money in that is usually on uneducated bets. They don't have the same knowledge of the local horses and will often just play whatever the tote board odds are. This brings long shot money WAY up.

Americans fill our casinos and racetracks on the weekends, unlike EVERYTHING else Canadian, we don't get taxed at the track on this income. In The States it's hardly worth winning by the time the government gets its chunk.

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More like teasing, not "busting."

by mlandis In reply to You? Guilty? No way!

Which is how I meant it. You predicted the weather. How often have you predicted the ponies incorrectly? Stats!

That was one **** of a long shot your friend won on a $1. bet. 7800-1? ****, I'd play that just for the fun of it. I didn't know that a lot of people go up to the track from here. If there are no taxes to be paid on the wins, that's an added attraction.

Kids are cool. I had my two convinced of many things for the longest time. They thought I was magic sometimes. That look of awe is unforgettable! If your friend had a hard time with you getting a hug from a kid, shame on him.

Do people work across the borders as well? Is it worth it?


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That's better

by Oz_Media In reply to You? Guilty? No way!

NOw I see what you're getting at! The guy who won big had a $1 Superfactor bet, 1st, 2nd,3rd, 4th in order. He picked it stright with two longshots in the mix. Most would put multiple horses in each position, but the bet multplies with each added horse 'keying', most key bets will run up a good bill and then all the favorites come in and it doesn't even pay back the cost.
I think he was down to his last couple of bucks and just went on a wing and a prayer!

Now my friend wasn't scoffing mefor getting a hug from a little kid, it was the whole taking credit for the weather that threw him.

Work across the border, many USED to. Most local salesmen and techs work back and forth, but it is easier to get a work visa overseas than in the US now. I have worked with quite a few Americans in the past who'd commute in every day but don't see many on the island (WOW, that'd be a big daily cost!)

I used to contract out a few talent scouts in Oregon and California when I was more music focused with my career. It was easier than running back and forth to just have a couple of ofices in shared office space and staff them on a contract basis. THe industry is dead there now so it's not worth my time,most others have moved away from teh corporate music scene now too. The rest of the world has a much broader industry it seems.

Anyhow, I gotta get rolling along, take care.

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