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Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

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Do you have the creepy person in your office?

In my plant there’s this one mid-50’s woman who really gives me the willies. Yesterday, I was running some cable near the employees entrance and this woman, I’ll call her Yolanda, must have walked past me at least a dozen times. EVERY time she passed, she had to stop and talk to me, and most of the time she speaks to me, she seems to have the need to actually touch me. Now, I have some pretty critical personal space needs and physical contact is a Level 10 Red Zone violation of that. The worst was when I was crouched down punching down the jacks and she crouched down next to me and rubbed my back saying that it looked like I was really working hard.

Excuse me while I lay in the fetal position sucking my thumb for a few minutes.

I’m back, thank you for your patience. Anyway, this happens all the time. She’ll call my office to tell me she needs to stop by for something, then tell me that she needs her PW reset or something equally mundane. She’ll stop me in the hall to tell me that someone else that she spoke with will be calling me. She will always come to my office when her issue could be handled remotely or over the phone. And it’s not just me, I know that there are others here, men and women, that she drives crazy with her visits and her touching. Worst of all, she smokes and smells like Pittsburgh in the 60’s

Now I’m not looking for suggestions on what to do about this. It’s too late for me. I’m just curious if this type of person is found everywhere. Is this type of behavior more common in the US? Do you have one, male or female, where you work? How do you handle it and do you have any funny stories about it?

Topic

I’m the only “normal” person here

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

I’m kidding, of course. I’m actually that creepy woman who wants to stop you in the hall and rub your back. I know… if you were a little more relaxed, we could even hold hands and skip, but I digress… 😀

I’ve never met anyone in IT who could be considered ‘normal’

In reply to I’m the only “normal” person here

Present company excepted, of course 😀

I have always said

In reply to I’ve never met anyone in IT who could be considered ‘normal’

that I am perfectly normal, it is everyone else in the world that is F’ed up. 😀

Speaking of which

In reply to I’ve never met anyone in IT who could be considered ‘normal’

I was informed today, by the tech support guys, that I am weird. In their words, f*cked up. But not in a bad way.

I argued that everyone is f*cked up in their own special way. They agreed, but also said that I still fell out of the ‘normal’ category.

I had no idea.

I had no idea either

In reply to Speaking of which

But this makes me see you in a whole new light.

“Always the last to know….”

In reply to Speaking of which

😀

Maebaiter

In reply to “Always the last to know….”

You’re just asking for facial rearrangement, aren’t you?

Never been called THAT kind of baiter before….. ;\

In reply to Maebaiter

and I have no idea what you are talking about.

Was there anything new here

In reply to Speaking of which

except the ‘but not in a bad way’ comment?

What, you never knew?? how many shovel weilders do you know? Out of them, how many are fascinated with carrying ice pics???

c’mon, you knew, just never admitted it to yourself 😀

Dont get mad — especially at me :0 , I am just ‘informing’ you of what everyone else ‘automatically’ knows

That would be true

In reply to Was there anything new here

except I’ve never hit another human with a shovel. I just fantasize about it.

Thats It?? ?:|

In reply to That would be true

I was trying to get you all riled up, but a calm response?? For that??
I guess JD is right when he said you were too old to get revenge anymore

You have it all wrong, scummy one….

In reply to Thats It?? ?:|

I am [b]always[/b] sweet and lovable to Mae! 😀

:p

Sure you are.

In reply to Thats It?? ?:|

Except for when you’re not.

At WORST

In reply to Thats It?? ?:|

I might have treated you like a bratty [i]older[/i] sister…… ;\

Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

In reply to That would be true

Everyone, here is your chance! Mae’s Anger chip is broke, and her memory is completely gone so she will not remember any insults that are said. It is Your Time to rip Mae apart! Everyone, it IS your duty to do this, and there are NO consequences. 😀

uh huh..

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

My anger chip is just fine.

I’m just tired today. I’ll kick your ass later.

No consequences?

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

says who?

I’ll remember just fine and Mae and I will have fun with your soul in hell. ]:)

and, for posterity, just so scummy can’t retract it:

Everyone, here is your chance! Mae’s Anger chip is broke, and her memory is completely gone so she will not remember any insults that are said. It is Your Time to rip Mae apart! Everyone, it IS your duty to do this, and there are NO consequences.

]:)

Thanks, Jaqui

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

I appreciate the help.

You’re right..we’ll make Scummy miserable in hell. It’ll be fun. For the first thousand years or so..then it will just be boring.

Jaqui — I think you

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

gave me too much credit! I am not smart enough to think of editing out my post to remove danger in the future.

But since it is ‘stuck’ now anyways, I have no need to clean it out 🙁

Gee Scummy

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

I’ll send flowers to your funeral.

Women are capable of remembering the smallest transgression even lifetimes after it occurred in excruciating detail. You took the additional step of mentioning it on the Internet where it will develop a life of its own and haunt you regardless of Mae’s involvement.

I understand that there are still small uninhabited islands out in the Pacific. You might be safe there.

I might like the island life too much

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

so I havent tried yet.Besides, until I get a pre-paid 3G card and access to the Internet with an updated notebook periodically, it just doesnt seem like I would like to stay.

However, Mae’s shovel hasnt seen action in like — a year now — so her Anger and Revenge chips are Broken — Scummy’s not scared anymore 😀

Just because

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

I haven’t broadcast it, doesn’t mean it hasn’t been in action. It’s now a stealth shovel.

I suppose that was

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

supposed to scare me?

Ok, I’ll give it too you– OMG — I am scared!!!! Really!!! I really am!!! Honest!!!
ok, I guess I aint foolin anyone but Mae with this

Mae

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

is not easily fooled.

Time for a refresher course, Scummy

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!
Mae is nice, Damnit!

Actually JD

In reply to Mae’s Anger chip is GONE — Free for all on Mae :^0

it is
Mae Is Nice Dammit!!!

However, it seems to be too true these days, so it is implied whenever anyone posts to her :^0

Mambo’s

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

got a girlfriend.. 🙂

That would creep me out, too. Does she do it to other people, or is it just you? If it’s just you, she probably does have a thing for you. If not, it’s probably just how she is.

Just tell her that you don’t like to be touched. She’ll be defensive and put out by that, but she’ll stop. If she’s particularly vindictive, be prepared for some fallout. (is it any wonder that I dislike humans)? Just play it above board, be friendly, but be clear about it. Tell her it’s not her, it’s just that you don’t like to be touched.

I have a very large ‘personal space’ area myself. I don’t like to be crowded and I truly dislike being touched (by most people). So, I understand.

I had a boss who used to lean over my shoulder to watch me work. His rather large stomach would actually touch my back. And trust me, that is a position that I did NOT want to be in with that man. I finally told him he needed to back off. He told me that if I didn’t like it, it was just too bad. I explained that I had a right to my personal space and that he really didn’t want to escalate the issue. Dunno if that really helped or not because he was fired shortly after. For different reasons. Either way, I was happy.

We had a touchyfeely woman here

In reply to Mambo’s

she is currently laid… off.

But she was the hand on your arm or shoulder while talking. Very pleasant and very married, so it was not a come-on or something she even realized she was doing. She would do it to any gender, no matter how big or small the group was.

She did apologize for it before when it was brought up to her. She made the rounds to everyone on how sorry she was, and that she didn’t mean anything by it. Sure, she didn’t stop doing it, but……

You touchy you die

In reply to We had a touchyfeely woman here

We have a touchy person here, but she’s not creepy, she’s just a “jolly” person and is very friendly. Everyone likes her. My only problem is that she’s a back/shoulder smacker.

I had shoulder surgery where a bunch of bone was removed from my shoulder. My first day back, less than 2 weeks after surgery with my arm in a sling no less, she has to walk up and smack me on that shoulder, then ask why I’m on my knees in the floor crying and screaming.

We also have someone in security that does that. He won’t talk to me after I told him off for smacking my shoulder.

Generally don’t care… except

In reply to You touchy you die

There are times when I simply cannot stand to be touched. I become hyper aware of anyone near me and if I think that they are going to try, I will literally back away as far as I can. I will also let them know that touching me at that moment will be an amazingly bad plan.

For me, it is a symptom of ADHD. Oh well.

If it is really ADHD

In reply to Generally don’t care… except

does that mean you will quickly forget that you didn’t wish to be touched? ;\

Depends

In reply to If it is really ADHD

I have memory problems but generally know darned good and well that I don’t want to be touched. The feeling goes away after awhile.

WOW

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

You know, if this were a guy feeling up a woman like that, your company would be drowning in a lawsuit in a New York minute. She shouldn’t be given an out because of her gender. Harassment is harassment.

Well..

In reply to WOW

It’s nice to see you!

Touching <> “feeling up”

In reply to WOW

I think the touching he’s talking about is of the “hand on the arm” variety; if she does it to everybody, it’s most likely she simply doesn’t realize she’s doing it.

I grew up in a “touchy-feely” family and spent many years in Europe as well. My personal space requirements aren’t quite as strict as dMambo’s, but I still don’t like people looking over my shoulder when I’m working. By the same token, I don’t touch other people indiscriminately.

feeling up

In reply to Touching <> “feeling up”

Of course, I didn’t mean she was feeling him up on the strictest sense. But he did mention rubbing his back, which crosses the line in my opinion. And if whatever behavior it is makes him uncomfortable and she doesn’t stop when asked, it’s a hostile work environment.

I couldn’t ask her to stop

In reply to feeling up

That would entail:
1) Continuing the interaction beyond the absolute minimum. Generally when she speaks to me, I rarely give her more than a 2-syllable grunt.

B) Ending what is, to a small extent, a decent source of workplace chatter. (I know, I’m being mean)

III) Making a mountain out of a molehill.

I’m really just looking for other people’s similar workplace situations.

Have you considered farting?

In reply to I couldn’t ask her to stop

I always keep a couple on standby for just such an emergency.

Ah, cropdusting!

In reply to Have you considered farting?

Glad I thought of it. I’ll give her one so bad my wife will ask about it when she’s doing the laundry!

Edit – totally silent, of course. It’ll maintain the mystery.

Back in the day

In reply to Ah, cropdusting!

before everyone had a gaming console at home, I spent a LOT of time in the arcade. I found the best way to clear up a game you wanted to play was to dust them with a few, and then walk away….. ;\

lmao!

In reply to Have you considered farting?

!!

Walk beside her down the hall

In reply to Have you considered farting?

making sure lots of other people are around, fart loudly, then shout “DAMN, lady!”

You know….

In reply to I couldn’t ask her to stop

….by giving the 2-syllable grunt answers, you may be perpetuating some sort of ‘mystery man’ fantasy she has.

If you notice she’s out one day, stroll past her desk quickly, and try to take a mental snapshot of what she has on it (pictures, magnets, whatever). This will give you an idea of what she likes.

Next time she talks with you, make it a point to slam one of her interests. I’d stay away from smoking, since it will be obvious that she smokes, and the slam will come off as a directed insult. If she has Mickey Mouse stuff up in her cube, for example, blast Disney (“guy was a closet Nazi..don’t see how anyone can support such an evil company”).

Truth is irrelevant. The point is to make the words coming out of your mouth auditory mothballs to this pest of a woman.

Come off as a jerk for a minute, save yourself countless moments. Trust me, it’s worth it! 😉

Good luck!!

you will know your not overreacting when

In reply to I couldn’t ask her to stop

she is rubbing your back and slides her hand down… grabs your shorts and pulls…

Pull?… Which direction??

In reply to you will know your not overreacting when

Down would kill me. And I’d be happy to die.

Up would bring back a flood of memories. I grew up as the youngest in a wedgie-happy family. I’m kind of having an out-of-body experience of watching my 15-year old brother hanging my 8-year old body onto the doorknob. Man, I hated that first summer when my mother went back to work!! 🙁

Actually…

In reply to I couldn’t ask her to stop

I had to deal with something very similar years ago from this absolutely creepy guy. On the advice of a guy friend, I just waited for it to happen again and acted very startled and screamed (okay, you don’t have to actually scream) but make enough noise to just embarrass her… helps if there are people around. Never happened again.

But on a more serious side, if you ever decide that you really want this to stop, you need to take those 15 seconds and actually turn to her and say “Your touching makes me uncomfortable and you must stop. If you do not, I will report this to my supervisor and/or HR.” If you don’t take the first step to make it stop, more than likely it comes across as an invitation to continue. Weird people don’t get it.

I like to do that in the grocery

In reply to Actually…

About the third time someone runs up my heel with a cart. In addition to screaming, fall to the floor twitching and drooling. My wife refuses to help by attempting to clear my airway or move displays from around my flailing limbs. Women; no sense of humor.

I wasn’t faking…..

In reply to I like to do that in the grocery

Last year after breaking my ankle and a long recovery, I finally started driving and doing the groceries (my wife HATES shopping).

On more than one occasion some idiot ran into my newly barely healed ankle, and I didn’t feel the need or have the self discipline to stifle my crys of pain and torrent of expletives.

And you know what, I don’t care. Most people run into my ankles when their eyes are on the shelves but they feel the need to push the cart forward.

I don’t do it any more, I don’t have the same pain occuring, but it still is an annoyance. I don’t think I’ve done it to someone else more than a couple of times in my life, but I’ve had it happen to me twice or three times on the same shopping trip.

I think I’d pay for those carts that have lasers attached…..

James

I can not remember the last time

In reply to I like to do that in the grocery

a stranger ran into me with their cart.

No means no?

In reply to Actually…

😀

I would bet the problem got as bad as it has because no one was willing to admit they didn’t like a woman touching them. “What are you, some kind of homersexual or something?”

Some might have actually responded in a way that reinforced this as a good thing to her.

Someone in Mambo’s office has created a “monster”.

DMambo’s got a GF!

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

Being a man, my first reaction is “what does she look like” but I am thinking with my brain so I would say “Lady, your creepin me out!”. I have a level 10 red zone also it extends to about 5 inches past my fingertips with arms out… See there are others out there.

Double Standard

In reply to DMambo’s got a GF!

Yeah, if she was in her 20’s and hot, it would actually be a mere Grade 1 infraction 🙂

It’s not harassment, it’s just creepy and not my style. And, as I said, the smell of the smokestack grosses me out.

Nothing wrong with double standards

In reply to Double Standard

Heck, she might start making out with the receptionist! ]:)

“Chicka-chicka-bow-wow”

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

Cue up the ’70’s porno guitar solo!

Some Barry White in the background?

In reply to “Chicka-chicka-bow-wow”

ohhhhhyeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! 😀

Just get it over with

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

invite her to a conference room.
If she leaves she may not return — if she stays, well, even bad is still pretty good 😀

Y.S.M.F.

In reply to Just get it over with

You sick mofo 😀

-wretch-

I’m not sure my brain will recover from the image. My lawyer will be contacting you.

From the sounds of it

In reply to Y.S.M.F.

You are right Mamba, in the bathroom would be more appropriate….. ;\

Well, there are these things called

In reply to Y.S.M.F.

bags over the head, countertops, tabletops, etc.. to help with a non attraction issue. Hmm, you can even whip out a leather mask or ask her to try on a leather jumpsuit with holes in the proper places.
or ask if she is into S&M — that’ll make her think twice, unless she is desperate

I am S.M.F.

In reply to Y.S.M.F.

I have a suggestion

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

Give me her phone number!!!! ]:)

Dont forget to take along

In reply to I have a suggestion

some adult diapers on your date :^0 :^0 :^0

Not a co-worker…

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

..but my boss – when I bartended my boss was that way – but not just with me, but with all the female bartenders. How did we stop it? We all got together made a recording and sent it to his wife. Funny he never bothered us again.

On a different note though – if it makes you uncomfortable – report it.

-Tammy 🙂

evil I tell you EVIL!

In reply to Not a co-worker…

there is no way a man stands a chance in that kind of environment. Just goes to show when they say a woman scorned…

just freaking run!

I don’t think that

In reply to evil I tell you EVIL!

falls under the ‘scorned woman’ category. That belongs more under the ‘Woman taking care of a d0uche bag in an appropriate manner’ category.

Test Message

In reply to I don’t think that

Just want to see if the PTB edit out “douche bag”.

They used to.

In reply to Test Message

Seems that ‘douche’ is no longer a bad word..

but motherfucker, cunt, shit, fuck and cocksucker still are.

The stars are shining…

In reply to They used to.

over TR tonight… lalalalalalalalala

Now where’s the moon? (I heard that Scummy!)

-Tammy 😀

LOL!

In reply to They used to.

and all those other colorful adjectives!

I wonder if I should try out some

In reply to LOL!

Navy terminology, there are quite a few very colorful adjectives. I am sure they will get the *** but

*****blossom and ***muncher are an all time favorite. ***hat is a world renowned adjective.

I hate to admit being behind the Navy, but

In reply to LOL!

I’ve never heard of *****blossom. I know a couple of ****munchers, but no ***muncher.

want her to stop?

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

wire yourself up, so that when she touches you she gets a 9 Volt shock.

doesn’t work, double it to 18 Volts.

what? she is still doing it? 36 Volts.
she will stop, when you get the right voltage to jump start her self preservation.

and you don’t even have to say anything to her. so she can’t blame you for being mean. ]:)

DMambo does have, after all, . . . . .

In reply to want her to stop?

…..an electrifying personality!

Some people are just touchy feely

In reply to Creeper Alert in the Workplace!!!

If she were ridiculously attractive and smelled like Victoria Secret’s Very Sexy would you be posting your complaint to us? These touchy feely people usually don’t notice what they are doing as it has been a habit since childhood. My ex-fiancee was one such person. Her hands had to make contact with someone she was talking too if it was anything outside of work or common pleasantries. Lol, I even had one friend who shared your aversion to touch who asked me in private if I thought she was hitting on his wife. When people who are overly touchy feely are in close proximity to people who avoid touch like the plague you have the recipe for disaster. Wrong signals are sent and you end up with an unnecessary confrontation or a perceived sexual harassment situation.

Personally I find people who avoid touch just as annoying as overly touchy people. Like that guy who cringes at a hand shake upon introduction and clasps your hand like a limp noodle. I understand fears of germs and what not, but man up and give me a good strong hand shake.

Now as far as one on one support, I’m guilty of that. I have a few people I support that I thoroughly enjoy working with and consider friends…even if they have the most absolutely absurd user created issues. These people will get personal support opposed to remote support every time if I have the time…and if I don’t have the time I’ll usually make it. It helps me with my sanity.

I do believe

In reply to Some people are just touchy feely

This is the first mention I have seen on TR of user support in which the issue, not the user, comes off as absurd.

Is the adversarial the norm, friendship the exception?

Bingo.

In reply to Some people are just touchy feely

[i]Personally I find people who avoid touch just as annoying as overly touchy people.[/i]

As a touchy-feely type, it’s worth pointing out that there are also ‘overly’ touchy-feely types. Those just might be the ones DMambo finds creepy. Lord knows they drive this touchy-feely nutso. 😉

My bad

In reply to Bingo.

I did mean OVERLY touchy feely…touchy feely I can handle. I’m the shake your hand and grab your forearm guy, or a gentle touch on the shoulder. It’s just the way I was brought up. I constantly catch myself doing it once I get to know someone. Women, too. Typically a gentle nudge on the back of their arm as we’re talking or the shoulder. No one ever complains and I do it even if the significant other is around…never been punched yet.

🙂

Umm…

In reply to My bad

You did say overly touchy feely. That was a multi-bingo. 😀

lol…

In reply to Umm…

I should re-read my own posts and quit drinking at work!

I don’t want to make generalizations

In reply to Some people are just touchy feely

It’s just that this particular individual freaks me out a bit. And by “a bit” I mean a lot. I don’t mind a handshake in an appropriate handshake situation, I’m not like Monk or anything. Well, maybe a little.

In any case, there are people here who have, by virtue of 10+ years build-up of good will, earned their place on the Priority Support list. When they call, I’ll do what I can to drop everything and address their issues. Is that fair? I think so. Unfortunately for me, after a layoff in another dept this past summer, I lost a core group of coworkers who were in that category.

That’s fair!

In reply to I don’t want to make generalizations

Then again I have one person that I’ve become close friends with. I’ll drop what I’m doing (short of a network outtage) to help her fix an excel spreadsheet. Some people are good people regardless of their skill level and I don’t mind helping them even over trivial stuff.

[Author]

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