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Don't shake my hand

By maxwell edison ·
(Due warning for the faint-hearted. Graphic descriptions might follow.)

Contrary to what others might think, I'm a very cordial and sociable kinda' guy. However, I'm beginning to think that I should stop the practice of shaking one's hand when extended in greeting.

I was standing in the restroom the other day ("standing" should be a hint), and some other guy came out of the stall ("standing" versus "the stall" should be descriptive enough). Did he go to the sink to wash his hands? Nooooooo -- right for the door and out he went. This wasn't a one-time occurrence, of course, as it's been suggested that up to twenty percent of people do not wash their hands after using the restroom. (I wonder if there's been a "stall" versus "standing" comparison?) Men are worse offenders than women, by the way. (Don't ask me how I know!) However, I wonder how accurate that twenty percent number really is? After all, who would actually admit to not washing their hands after using the restroom? And how many people might do it only when there's someone else in there to see, and not do it when they're alone? I would bet that it's higher than twenty percent.

A few minutes later I was walking down the hallway, and I see this other guy with his finger so far up his nose that you'd think he was digging for gold. According to some publication that I may or may not have read (and which may or may not be reliable, depending on your desired end conclusion), upwards of 65 percent of people pick their nose regularly throughout the day. I've yet to see a study on how many of those people wash THEIR hands afterwards. I'd also bet that more men than women pick their noses. After all, those fingernails could really do some damage! (By the way, do you know which bacteria is most prevalent on the utensils used in buffet lines?)

It's cold and flu season, you know, and I can't tell you how many people I've seen sneeze and cough into their bare hands. I've never seen one of them, however, wash their hands afterwards. And how many people **** their nose into a tissue, only to **** a huge hole right through it? My God, they may as well **** their nose right into their hands!

At the end of a day observing such behavior, I went into the break room for a cup of coffee. "Fresh coffee coming up", someone told me as he was fumbling through the filters to pick one out. On second thought, perhaps I shouldn't have a cup of coffee so late in the day -- especially since I wasn't sure that he wasn't the same guy I saw digging for gold earlier!

And just think about all those keyboards and mice you fondle each and every day!

For some reason, I've been wondering about something. What would be a good way to politely refrain from shaking one's hand? And some people, you know, are so danged pushy about it!

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Girls can be gross too

by ganyssa In reply to think again

A year or so ago, I was in the bathroom washing my hands when a co-worker exited one of the stalls. She walked over to the other sink, rinsed off *one finger* and exited the bathroom.

I've been traumatized ever since. She delivers the mail.

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eewweee

by Shellbot In reply to Girls can be gross too

yuk, she does the mail..so she touches everyones stuff..

sick

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women vs men

by LocoLobo In reply to You [i]speculate[/i] abou ...

I can't answer the question about washing hands, but in college (74-80) I worked in a grocery store and a service station. Part of my job was cleaning the rest room. At the grocery store the women left it cleaner the men every time.

For some reason at the service station the women were often worse than the men. I regularly had to put on the big gloves and reach into the seat to clean it. (YUK!) When this happened the outside was just as filthy. Don't know if the info means anything just my 2 cents.

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As a disclaimer (for those who may not have known)

by maxwell edison In reply to Don't shake my hand

My message was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. (Not "firmly" tongue-in-cheek", but loosely.) Although there's certainly an element of truth to what I say (obviously), I'm not exactly "obsessed" with remaining "germ-free". Howard Hughes was weird; I'm not.

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I hate the air hand dryers

by jdclyde In reply to As a disclaimer (for thos ...

because I like to have some paper towel to open that door with! :0

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Just a little to far

by levan93 In reply to Don't shake my hand

Everything you just said was true but theres germs everywhere so i dont think not shaking someones hand it going to make much of a difference. I think you thought about this a little to much. You've probably got just as many germs on your hand as the next person.

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Understandable but too far.

by jevan205 In reply to Don't shake my hand

Everything you said in that was true.
But are you saying that after everything you do you wash your hands?? There are germs everywhere. I suggest you try not to think about it. Or if you meet someone new after shaking their hand and having a conversation with them go wash your hands. With this whole omg i cant drink the coffee because they might not have washed their hands, i think that is a little too far. There are some people in this world who do wash their hands. I dont think there is another way to be polite with out shaking their hand. so in the nicest way possible dont think about it so much. You have the same amount of germs as everyone else.

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Let me ask you this

by maxwell edison In reply to Understandable but too fa ...

If you saw some guy walking out of the toilet stall without washing his hands (and you KNOW where his hands had just been!), and you then saw the same guy picking his nose, and then, you saw the same guy sneezing into those hands, and you then saw the same guy fumbling with the coffee filters to remove just one (you know how those dastardly things stick together!), would you take the cup of coffee he just offered you and shake his hand as a nice gesture?

(By the way, you're not "that" guy, are you?)

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Including, I suspect,...

by TonytheTiger In reply to Understandable but too fa ...

There are germs everywhere.

... soap dispenser outlets :)

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Indeed!

by Inkling In reply to Including, I suspect,...

That is why you have to take the following steps when washing your hands:

(1) Pump the paper towel dispenser a few times to get enough out to dry your hands.
(2) Wash hands (not you sickos, a cursory splash of cold water isn't "washing").
(3) Dry hands with paper towel.
(4) Turn faucet off with said towel.
(5) Open door with said towel.

Foolproof plan right there. Unless, of course, you take into account the fact that the warehouse the paper towel shipped from was rat infested and the guy that loaded the paper towel into the dispenser was, emptying every garbage can in the builing, washing the toilets and floors and picking his nose all before using his grubby mits to paw the paper towels.

Bottom line is, there is no escaping it.

I try to be at least a little conscientious about germs (and I ALWAYS wash my hands), but when I think back to all the things I used to do when I was in my late teens/early 20s (one-night stands, making out at bars, building houses all day...you can imagine the things we did...without washing my hands before eating lunch), I don't know why I bother.

The best course of action is to try and not think about it because, no it's not going to kill you, but it WILL disgust you.

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