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Even the Marines want in on the act

By NickNielsen ·
Got this one today:

From: Sgt Jerry Mark (sgt_mark01@obfuscated.com)
Sent: Mon 7/06/09 3:51 PM
To:

Dear Friend,



I know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine our future and continued existence. I must also apologies for the strange manner I have jumped into your private e-mail, I obtained your contact from the internet that you deserve trust, I am Sgt Jerry Mark 37 years old married with (1) child, and a US Marine Corps. Serving in the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment which Patrols the Anbar province, Iraq.



I am desperately in need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you. I am presently in Iraq and I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $10,570,000 (Ten million Five Hundred and Seventy Thousand US dollars) to the States or any safe country of your choice, as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.



SOURCE OF MONEY: Some money in various currencies was discovered and concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam Husseins old Presidential Palaces during a rescue operation and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us. This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this **** hole. The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a German contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity) I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. He doesnt know the real contents of the package as he believes that it belongs to an American who died in an air raid, and before giving up trusted me to hand over the package to his close relative.



I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of Iraq for you to pick up. I do not know for how long I will remain here as I have been lucky to have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention. This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach out for help. If it might be of interest to you then Endeavor to contact me and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship.



Contact me via my private box: (sgt.jerrymark009@gmail.com) by clicking the reply so that I can furnish you with more details.



Respectfully,



Sgt Jerry Mark



United States Marine Corps. Iraq




So what do you think? Will he get the package out of Iraq or will he lose it? (The package, that is...)

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I'm sure they can.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to I know.

I just wanted an excuse to expand the USMC abbreviation.

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I'd pay good money to see a Marine get a hold of the dude.

by OnTheRopes In reply to Even the Marines want in ...

They can be persuasive and possibly show him the error of his ways.

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Pay-per-view.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to I'd pay good money to see ...

I'd drop some change to see that too. Three rounds, no DQ, no 'tap out'. Would it hurt more to get slammed on the sands of San Diego or get fed a face full of Beaufort mud?

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there was a NCIS episode similar

by DadsPad In reply to Even the Marines want in ...

This female reported a marine stalking her, was an ex-boy friend. Turned out he had stolen money in his pesonal effects that was being shipped to her house. Good episode. :)

This guy should be so smart.

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Forward to JAG and see what comes of it - it will be interesting

by Deadly Ernest In reply to Even the Marines want in ...

but I don't think it true.

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Doesn't write like a U. S. Marine sergeant

by DelbertPGH In reply to Even the Marines want in ...

More like an Indian. Or maybe like a Nigerian.

Americans (unless they were trained by Mrs. Black, my sadistic and precise fourth and fifth grade English teacher) usually screw up their grammar, spelling, and punctuation multiple times in a post this long. This guy's capitalization is the only recurring failure, and his omission of apostrophes to indicate possession or contraction. His word choice is odd, and syntax gets a little twisted at times. His use of commas is odd in a couple of places, but comma-tization is always personal. Mrs. Black would give him an A-minus or better.

The language is far more formal, refined, and wordy than I would expect from an American named "Jerry Mark." His idiom is off the mark. The guy who wrote this did not come from these shores, though he has learned very good English.

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Doesn't write like a U.S. Marine sergeant

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Doesn't write like a U. S ...

Because he goes more than three sentences without mentioning sex or alcohol. Also notice the conspicuous absence of 'F-bombs'. Let's try this, shall we?

From: Sgt Jerry Mark (sgt_mark01@obfuscated.com)
Sent: Mon 7/06/09 3:51 PM
To:

Hey, dumbass,

Pay attention, I'm only gonna say this once so shut up and listen. I'm Sgt Jerry Mark, USMC, married with a brat she claims is mine, and where I'm deployed ain't none of your damn business.

I got a good scam going. My buddy the commo geek grabbed your address at random and I'm gonna let you in on it. I need to get $10 mill transferred stateside out of the sandbox. I don't trust your @$$ not to run off with a chunk of it, but I'm willing to sacrifice some of the loot as 'operating expenses'.

Where'd I get it? We tripped over it in one of Sodamn Insane's joints during a throwdown with some hookers. While we all said we would split it evenly, I know those other lying ba$t@rds are trying to screw me out of my share. I hooked up with a Kraut contractor but I think he's on to me.

Now it's all dropped in the bucket again and I have to move this cash NOW. Keep your damn mouth shut and I'll sacrifice your cut to get the money home.

Reply to me at dawgface1775@gmail.com and I'll shoot you the poop.

Semper Fi!
Sgt Jerry Mark

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Dude.

by DelbertPGH In reply to Doesn't write like a U.S. ...

Sounds real to me. Where do I send my bank account information?

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Palmetto

by santeewelding In reply to Doesn't write like a U.S. ...

Henceforth, Official Mimic.

Excellent.

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