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Friday Yuk

By heml0ck ·
ok, i've been busy the last few weeks, time to make up for it!

A young naval student was being rigorously tested orally by an old sea
captain.

Captain: "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on starboard?"
Student: "Throw out an anchor, sir."
Captain: "What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
Student: "Throw out another anchor, sir."
Captain: "Suppose another horrendous storm sprang up forward, what
would you do?
Student: "Throw out another anchor, sir.
Captain: "Hold on. Where are you getting all those anchors from?
Student: "From the same place you are getting your storms, sir."

******

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing,
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air
Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a
B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked,
"one of those dreaded seven-engine approaches!"

******

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement, turn right 45 Degrees." "Center, we are
at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever
heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

******

SR-71 Pilots
I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as
Walt (my backseater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13
miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other
aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really
control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a
Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed. "90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech requested the same. "120 knots," Center
answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as
almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52
requests groundspeed readout." There was a slight pause, then the
response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty." Another silent pause. As I
was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar
click of a radio transmission coming from my backseater. It was at that
precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were
both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed
readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause.... "Aspen, I show
1,742 knots." No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.

******

In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
request for clearance to FL 60 0 (60,000ft.) The incredulous controller,
with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, " We don't
plan to go up to it, we plan to come down to it..." He was cleared...

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Hey

by Oz_Media In reply to HEY!!!

That houseboat looks like a blast!!!

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No bonfire pit

by OnTheRopes In reply to Hey
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Can't resist

by Oz_Media In reply to EXCELLENT!

Go south, you'll find some 'tool' carrying one to protect his precious yard from the neighbourhood kid's soccer ball.

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It's a swing

by OnTheRopes In reply to Can't resist
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LOL

by Oz_Media In reply to It's a swing

Right befor eI decided to go for a lunchtime wander, I was reading an article on how they use dead pigs, horses, dogs, old newspapers, and sawdust to feed cows and fatten them up. Kinda made me have a veggie lunch that one did. :)

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I hear ya

by OnTheRopes In reply to LOL

I've been to a few of the largest slaughterhouses in the US. Makes you feel the same way.

I remember one in North Carolina, in the middle of the night, during a lightning storm when I came upon a pile of huge hogs that died during transport. That was a bizarre scene. No surprise that you can't take any camera's on the property.

Right now it kind of makes me want a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich though.


edit:http://tinyurl.com/fpon2 and http://tinyurl.com/hfr7n

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FYI - Most large Kangaroos in Australia

by Deadly Ernest In reply to It's a swing

are declared pests and in plague proportions in many areas. Even the areas where they are kept by wildlife experts (and Stever Erwin is NOT a wildlife expert) they are frequently culled so that over breeding does NOT destroy the habitat and cause them all to starve.

Kangaroo hunting is extremely well controlled and tightly licenced - when the carcases and hids are used for commercial purposes there are even tighter controls on their 'harvesting' and checks before they can be approved for use.

The people who prepared that web site have no idea of what they are like in the wild, let alone in their natural habitat. And the nearest Steve Erwin ever got to a wild roo was watching bound about in the distance when his film crew pulled up to a spot to get ready for something.

Many of the smaller roos and wallabies are heavily protected by law and the wildlife experts - the same ones who cull the others.

Roos are almost as bad as rabbits in the damage that they do to the environment.

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I was out of line with that link

by OnTheRopes In reply to FYI - Most large Kangaroo ...

I actually though they'd use the meat for pet food. Maybe they do. Thanks for the rest of the story.

In the US west they round up wild horses for pet food or at least they did. I don't know if there are even any horses left.

Oz is right too actually. There are some places here where violence, the KKK and racism is still very much alive. Most of the time you don't even have to leave town to see racists, of any color.


edit: I always end up posting stuff in the Yuk that's not funny. I ought to just stay out of it.

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They do use some as pet food, but if it passes

by Deadly Ernest In reply to I was out of line with th ...

the health regs and testing for human consumption they get more money that way. We sell more Kangaroo meat for overseas human consumption than we do for local human consumption. It is quite tasty and a different to beef. BTW the USA is the biggest customer, in overall and per capita terms, for roo meat for people.

On large sheep and cattle properties they often hunt kangaroos when the numbers get to excessive and they invite friends and relatives to visit to help in the hunt (if they know enough about the safe care of firearms) and the usual finish is to cook the more tasty parts of a roo over a burning log (just set fire to any fallen dead tree) - this is especial so in winter where the hunters will stand or sqat around a large burning log with a makeshift spit cooking some roo over the fire.

What gets me about those people who put up websites like the one you linked to, is that they never get out into the farmlands or the wilderness to have a close look at what is happening in real life. It reminds of the time about 15 years ago when some animal rights activists got some state governments to pass laws making the use of 'exotic' animals in circuses unlawful. No more lions, tigers, etc (some how elephants and camels and horses were allowed).

Most of the animals the cicuses used had been born and bred in captivity for generations, they could not live in the wild. Most of the circuses had to suddenly get rid of such animals. Where they could they passed them onto zoos (where the animals lived a life of lower quality) but only so many could be dealt with that way. One big group of circuses created their own zoo, they had enough animals to do that. But about 55% of the exotic animals had to be killed as the circuses could no longer use them to earn money and they had no place to keep them or reason to keep them - thus they were shot. Then the animal rights people went really crazy about the indiscriminate killing of all those animals - what did the stupid fools think would happen to them.

The real funny thing was that one restaurant padi some of the circuses to have the animals checked and slaughted properly and then made a fortune selling exotic animal meats to people, they even took time to thank the animal rights people for making the special line available.

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Actually it is funny to see how the Roo population

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I was out of line with th ...

Is portrayed overseas by people who know no better. What they don't understand is that by opening up the country and introducing artificial water holes this allowed the Roo population to explode. So since white settlement the Roo population has greatly expanded generally out of control. What many don't realise is that a Female Roo is pregnant with the next one before the first Joe comes out and that they can control their fertility and effectively place the embryo into status if there is no water. Once the water returns the population increases again.

The greys and Reds are no where close to becoming endangered at one sheep property they where actually cunning little Bar stewards as they would jump the fence and graze on the improved pasture and the moment that anyone came down they would retreat to the National Park the other side of the fence. I've seen numerous examples of this and having spend long periods of my life working on Sheep Stations I can tell you it's not all that easy so shoot a Roo they move quickly and can change direction at an unbelievable rate.

Some of the smaller Wallabies are heavily protected ones like the Bush Tail Wallaby but generally speaking they are restricted to certain regions and do not just jump around the countryside. The problems there is that with the Bush Management the small areas are no longer being burnt off so that when there is a fire it's extreme and does a lot more damage than what several little controlled fires would have done over a 10 year period it just wipes out everything in it's path.

I got an extremely good laugh out of one bunch of Animal Protectors who came here they drove the Bruce Highway between Cairns and Brisbane and about every 300 meters there was a dead Roo that had been hit by a car. The place actually stunk quite badly and they where stopping and photographing every dead Roo till they hit one and then forgot about what they where there for and tried to limp into the nearest town for repairs. It was a good season that year so there where lots of Roos around.

Here some native animals are farmed for their skins and meat so things like Roo, Possum and Crock are considered as delicacies in the upper class restraints where very small portions will be served up and talked endlessly about. The meat aint cheap and as I know a chief I get a lot of Left Overs where the meat is not legal to sell but is still perfectly good to eat.

The really idiot thing is that Roo meat is lean with no or very little fat on it so it's much better for human consumption than Beef though you need to cook it differently but when cooked properly it's very nice to eat along with the Possum, Crock and Snake although very little of this meat ends up on Australian Tables most is exported to Asia and the US and things like the crock skins to Europe where they become very expensive shoes and handbags.

Col

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