General discussion


Friday Yuk

By stargazerr ·

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. single working girls Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -needless paperwork and processes.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a
pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when y! ou come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

Happy Weekend everyone


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by Jaqui In reply to Now, Jaqui

girth and skill at application also count. ]:)

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by gadgetgirl In reply to Now, Jaqui

Give the guy a ...........banana!!



Apologies for the Fridayitis, it's been one helluva week in my business suit....

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Of course not!!

by maecuff In reply to Now, Jaqui
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only if

by jdclyde In reply to hey,

it is YOUR "little" bone?

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Trace your reply back. I think Jd is about to go into denial mode.

by sleepin'dawg In reply to only if

Sorry guy but it's just lying there and someone was bound to notice. You abandoning Mark for Jaqui now??? :^O

Dawg ]:)

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not at all Dawg

by jdclyde In reply to only if

and they can even call mine little if they want, provided it is still the one doing the choking! ]:) (my favorite sound in all the world....)

Besides, all I ever did was point out that MARK like sheep, not question the size of his unit. ;\

(he was the one to call someone his "lamb" to start the sheep thing. So it was actually a pedaphile beastiallity! )

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"Me thinks he doth protest too much." For shame Jd, for shame.

by sleepin'dawg In reply to only if

I think I know you replied to the wrong post but can I be absolutely certain??? I wonder what Jaqui is thinking, right now??? I'll just bet he's surprised.

BTW Mark goes after female lambs. Nothing ***** about ol' Mark now, is there???

Dawg ]:)

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It is hard to type with a .............

by sleepin'dawg In reply to <looks at watch... calcul ...

bone in your throat isn't it??? :^O

Dawg ]:)

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your turn Dawg

by jdclyde In reply to It is hard to type with a ...

I must ask, how do YOU know if it is hard or not? Tried it recently?

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Now seeing as how I am somewhat challenged................

by sleepin'dawg In reply to your turn Dawg

when it comes to keyboarding, I am making an assumption, especially if the bone in the throat, in question happens to be mine, bone that is, not throat. As you can see, there wouldn't be any likelihood of me trying that at any time, never mind recently. ;\

An old joke:
A guy stumbles into a bar after a long day and orders 3 - 4 drinks for himself. It isn't until he's on his second that he realizes he has unwittingly entered a gay bar but he is so tired he doesn't give a damn.

After a while a couple of queens come over and start talking to him. The conversation is a bit strained at first but the guy eventually relaxes when he figures out they aren't really trying to hit on him. Then one of the gays makes a surprising statement and asks a question.

"You realize you're in a gay bar but I'll bet you didn't know most of us gays have a name for our tools. I for instance call mine Maxwell House because it's "Good to the very last drop". My pal hear calls his KFC because it's "Finger lickin' good". Now do you straight guy's have names for your tools and if so what do you call yours???"

The guy pauses for a moment and then replys, "Yeah some of us do name their tools. Mine is called Secret.!!!!"

"Ooooooh and why would you call it that???"

The guy answers, "Well you know how it goes, 'Stong enough for a man but made for a woman' "

Enough said??? All I was doing was pointing out that you replied to the wrong post or at least I thought you did. Now you're confusing me. I've just been wondering how Jaqui is perceiving all this and how Mark feels about you playing the field, so to speak. I'll bet Jaqui was a bit surprised and is probably now standing with his back to the wall and has big round eyes. ROTFLMAO

Ah, grasshopper, you do tend to walk into these things, don't you??? May I be so bold, as to refer you to the Three Bulls Joke??? :^O B-)

Dawg ]:)

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