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Friday Yuk

By stargazerr ·
NEW WORDS FOR 2006


TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. single working girls Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -needless paperwork and processes.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a
pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when y! ou come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

Happy Weekend everyone

]:)

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Like a wise OLD man once said

by jdclyde In reply to your turn Dawg

"Me thinks he doth protest too much."


Now get that bone out of your thought and start typing again!

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Now why would I want to do that since.....................

by sleepin'dawg In reply to your turn Dawg

my typist is of the feminine persuasion. Anybody for some tuna sushi??? B-)

Dawg ]:)

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All I can hear

by maecuff In reply to SG! Really!

when I think of a 'bone down the throat' is The Fixx. God..One day I will Escape the Eighties..

The deception with tact, just what are you trying to say?
You've got a blank face, which irritates
Communicate, pull out your party piece
You see dimensions in two
State your case with black or white
But when one little cross leads to shots, grit your teeth
You run for cover so discreet, why don't they:

Do what they say, say what you mean
One thing leads to another
You told me something wrong, I know I listen too long
But then one thing leads to another.

The impression that you sell
Passes in and out like a scent
But the long face that you see comes from living close
To your fears
If this is up then I'm up but you're running out of sight
You've seen your name on the walls
And when one little bump leads to shock miss a beat
You run for cover and there's heat, why don't they:

Do what they say, say what they mean
One thing leads to another
You told me something wrong, I know I listen too long
But then one thing leads to another
One thing leads to another

Then it's easy to believe
Somebody's been lying to me
But when the wrong word goes in the right ear
I know you've been lying to me
It's getting rough, off the cuff I've got to say enough's enough

Bigger the harder he falls
But when the wrong antidote is like a bone in the throat
You run for cover in the heat why don't they

Do what they say, say what they mean
One thing leads to another
You tell me something wrong, I know I listen too long
But then one thing leads to another
One thing leads to another (Repeat)

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vegetarian?1

by inertman In reply to choke choke

vegetaians make good food!

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day late

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk

and a joke short!


if you kindly gaze your orbs at the "hot" list, you will see the REAL YUK is now second!

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Gazed my orbs

by stargazerr In reply to day late

but as far as I can remember ... isnt it suppossed to be a Friday yuk ??

Forgive me ... I am a traditional person

]:)

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You gazed your WHAT!!!

by gadgetgirl In reply to Gazed my orbs

SG.

Seriously.

Honestly.

Where is your brain today????

I think it's about time you went home, my girl, before you stick your foot in it right up to your eyeballs.....

]:)

GG

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leave her be GG

by jdclyde In reply to You gazed your WHAT!!!

I LIKE it when she sticks stuff places! ]:)

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I stick stuff places??

by stargazerr In reply to leave her be GG

Surely that would be your job ....

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It's been so long.....

by gadgetgirl In reply to I stick stuff places??

he's obviously forgotten!!!



Grief, I'm giggling so much I'm crying, here!

GG

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