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Friday Yuk

By stargazerr ·

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. single working girls Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -needless paperwork and processes.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a
pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when y! ou come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

Happy Weekend everyone


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Like Peter Sellers said

by jdclyde In reply to It's been so long.....

"I like to watch"........

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and here I thought

by jdclyde In reply to Gazed my orbs

you were a modern girl! Silly me!

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A traditional person??? Really???

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Gazed my orbs

Does that mean we start at the top and work our way down or would you prefer we start at the bottom and work our way up. Please note; I didn't say anything as regards back or front but feel free to include that in your reply.

Dawg ]:) B-)

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The difference between...

by Bubba69 In reply to Friday Yuk

OK, My first post so be gentle...

What's the difference between a group of pigmies running through the woods and a group of Girl Scouts running through the woods?

One's a group of cunning little runts...

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I'm sorry..

by maecuff In reply to The difference between...

but I am TERRIBLY offended. I have a girl scout troup. I have TWIN daughters who are in girl scouts and you have completely tarnished the girl scout tradition.

I am appalled.

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by dawgit In reply to I'm sorry..

now, was that serious? or were you just picking on him? I'm real proud of the little girl scouts, where else can you get over priced, year-old cookies, delivered at that?

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What else could I do?

by maecuff In reply to ???

He practically begged to be picked on.

I don't really have twin daughters. But I DID buy two boxes of girl scout cookies.

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I have to agree with you, Mae. I'M offended

by neilb@uk In reply to I'm sorry..

I AM a Girl Scout

Well, I attend their meetings

Well, I'd like to but they won't let me

Is it the mustache that gives me away?

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OH I see Neil

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I have to agree with you, ...

You where the model for The Lady transvestite in Little Britain right?

Col ]:)

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You poor old sod

by jdclyde In reply to I have to agree with you, ...

we see it's only you?

eyeing little girls with bad intent.....

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