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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Well yet another week has come to an end, a quick one this time. Well, at least we can spend the weekends at home.

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

Have an excellent weekend everyone! :)

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LOL

by Oz_Media In reply to Check out the police loot ...

Nobody stole the POS hardware at the counter though.

I wonder if she pulled her gun to get the last size 20 mumu?

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The saddening thing about this

by jdclyde In reply to Check out the police loot ...

is because of the two women that did this, it makes it look to the less intellegent observer that ALL the cops are looting and ransacking the city.

I hope they got a big load with that trip, because I can say certainly that they will not EVER be cops again, anywhere in the world and the WORLD has seen the two of them as the scumbags that they are.

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Not too sure on that

by Oz_Media In reply to The saddening thing about ...

I wouldn't be surprise dif other cops were up to similar crimes too, you never know but I think it's most likely they weren't the only ones. They said most cops just took off out of town, it was pretty wild from what I've seen.

But you're right on one thing, they won't even be getting graveyard security jobs at a building site.

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There is a difference

by jdclyde In reply to Not too sure on that

between evacuating like everyone else and taking part of the looting.

Until there is evidence of more than just these two women, I will continue to give them the benifit of the doubt. I personally will not condemn every cop just because of what these two have done, will you?

I also would not blame them at all if they evacuated. That is what you do, get yourself out of danger, THEN you help take care of the problem or you become part of the problem.

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by ozi Eagle In reply to Check out the police loot ...

Don't know about anyone else, but I got a screen ful of sex ads, some of which caused my monitor to fog up.

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I got those too

by M_a_r_k In reply to

I forgot to warn people about those ads. That kind of smut is so ubiquitous on the Internet these days, I absentmindely ignore them and click my way past them. Good thing I accessed that site from home instead of work though. I might have gotten fired for suppoosedly accessing porn sites from work. Yikes!

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Ways to maintain a level of insanity..

by maecuff In reply to Friday Yuk

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has
Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling
Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

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Mae

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Ways to maintain a level ...

Number 19 is straight out of the Monty Python Movie The Meaning of Life where the Good Catholic family has to sell off all of their children for Medical Experimentation as they can no longer afford to feed the growning band.

Of course with Petrol over here nudging $5.50 AU per US Gallon things are getting that bad I've been asking how much I could get for my children now. But what I've been offered will not even fill an almost full tank apparently there is an over supply of children for medical experimentation at the moment. :^O

Col ]:)

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This is when

by maecuff In reply to Mae

It would have come in handy to have given birth to a freak of nature. I'm sure they are in high demand. Unfortunately, my children are boringly normal, ranging between married, college student, stoner (who is on his mother's bad side) and uber intelligent 4 year old.

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Well they did offer me a bit more

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to This is when

For my son 31 this year. He has a blood vessel which didn't close off after birth so when he was in his late 20's he had to go in for surgery to block off this blood vessel. Unfortunately as we where going there a fully loaded refrigerated truck rear ended us and destroyed a perfectly good just restored Classic Mercedes. What was even worse is it was one that I had bought for my wife and I was driving it.

The wreckage is still sitting in the driveway until the legal stuff is finished but didn't I cop heaps for that one. My son on the other hand was watching the whole thing all I saw was a flash of white before the impact and since he had to be at the meat-works I was left with the car until the Police arrived and did their business and then tried to give me a ticket for wanting to move the wreck. They where very outspoken until some idiot came around the corner and hit the Police Car which meant another round of statements and a very long wait and then they wanted the Mercedes moved. :)

But of course the operation failed and the surgical team had a .5 inch stainless shunt going around my sons blood system one of the few times that I would have liked to be in the OR as it would have been interesting seeing them trying to retrieve it before it killed him. Of course being the obnoxious brat that he is he just went to sleep and didn't care. Apparently the video of that procedure is a Must See for any Cardiac Surgeons and I did see the shunt a nasty looking piece of hardware with very sharp spikes on the outside of it.

When he was woken up he had a nurse hovering over him with the same surname and his first comment was "When did you marry me and what's worse how am I going to explain this to my girlfriend outside?" Anyway the cardiac Surgeon came around and with all the family around and his new wife showed him the bit that they lost and then offered him two alternatives one was to wait for a new device to be made available from the US and the other was to crack his chest and clamp the blood vessel for some strange reason he chose the first option as that was inserted with a laparscope through a small incision in the right leg {again.} Anyway he was worth far more before the repair was done so now he is a worthless piece of meat that isn't even worth the butchering fees.

My daughter on the other hand is as normal as you can expect a 29 year old to be who's just returned from a Round the World Trip as soon as she landed she was on the phone telling us that she was home safely and wanting some money. :^O

Col ]:)

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