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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Women are like Slinkies.

Women are like Slinkies
.
.
.
.
They're not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
What did one sperm say to the other?

- "Last one there gets a rotten egg!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hilarious Ways To Have Fun At Work

Social and Behavioral Studies

Start rumors,

Examples:

company relocating, new boss, random drug testing, phone bugging, compulsory personality testing, new compulsory exercise policy, etc.

See how far the rumors escalate.

Getting away without doing any work

Sneaky naps - for people with their own offices without windows. Spill paper clips, pencils or staples on the floor about 6 feet from the door to your office. Lie down and go to sleep with your feet against the closed door and your hand in the pile of paper clips. When someone pushed the door open, quickly get up on your knees, and you have the perfect excuse for being on the floor!


Prank

Find a small cardboard box and remove the bottom. Place it on your chosen victim's desk with the bottomless side down on the desk. Fill the box with hole-punch waste, seal the box lid and adress it to the victim. When the victim gets to their desk, they will automatically pick up the box and create their own little blizzard!

Social and Behavioral Studies

Go up to Frank, when he's talking with Dave, and a group of others, and say "Hey Frank, do your impression of Dave!" When Frank protests that he doesn't do an impression of Dave, you say "Don't be modest, you had the whole room in fits yesterday". The leave.

(That one I've done :) )

Prank

Put Deep Heat muscle rub on all toilet seats.

Have a great weekend, y'all! B-)

The prank reminds me of grade 6. A couple of us stayed in class during recess and swapped the entire classroom backwards, all desks, teachers desk etc. Then we took the goldfish and flipped his bowl upside down with a piece of glass on top, put it on his desk and slipped the glass out from under it.

Yeah, I ws nice ONCE, when I was really little.

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My boys pulled that on me

by jdclyde In reply to cuz of kids like me...

I worked second shift, the wife worked first, but not everyday. She would wake me when she left on the days she worked. I got out around 3 am. (some second, huh?)

The boys came into the bedroom at 8 am, each with a popcicle and said, "Dad, popsicles"! (they were 3)

I looked at them, and then decided it is summer and if your mom said it was alright, rolled over and went back to sleep.

A little while later, "dad, popsicles". Again? Well, who am I to question your mom.

A third time, "dad, popcicles". This just wasn't like her to be that nice to ANYONE.

I went into the other room, no wife.

Looked around and they had made a tower of a chair, my lunch box, and a booser seat and had eaten a whole box of popcicles for breakfast.

Oops!

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Reminds me of "LOOK THERE'S BLOOD ON MY HAND!"

by Oz_Media In reply to My boys pulled that on me

While camping with a friend and her two twin sons (6 or 7), they were off playing by the dock while I was cooking dinner. One of the boys came back and said hey lookthere's blood on my hand.

So I quickly wiped it clean and there was no cut. I asked where it was from and he laughed, "just fooling, I'm not really bleeding". Figuring it was a smudge of ketchup or berries from the bushes I ignored it and started cooking again.

3 minutes later he came running up, completely out of breath, 'look there's blood on my hand!' I told him to stop playing around and again wiped it off before returning to the cooking.

Then his brother came in crying and whining, I'm BLEEEDING!!! So I looked at him, VERY frustrated, and went to wipe the blood of his forehead when I realized his head was split open (not really enough for stitches but quite a gash!).

They had been fighting over the boats, as always (I I WANNA DRIVE!), and one smacked the other in the face with an oar and split his head open.

The first kept smearing some blood from his brother's head onto his hand and had ran all the way back to me each time, before his sobbing brother had finally made it back to me.

Damn kids, they are 15 now and STILL beat the living **** out of each other, while absolutely adoring each other too....somehow!

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Oh how I know that one

by jdclyde In reply to Reminds me of "LOOK THERE ...

Beat each other senceless, but don't YOU dare mess with my brother! Nobody beats on him but me!

Really is funny to watch.

Note, two twins is four kids. I actually know a family with two sets of twin boys. Started a top 40 band called double vision. all covers, like backdoor boys and terrible crap like that. Weren't in it for the fame and glory, just knew what atracted the babes. I let them slide on the whimpy music when I learned the reasoning.

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Not just twins

by Jessie In reply to Oh how I know that one

My brother and I did that growing up, beat the crap out of each other on a regular basis, but he was still my brother and I'm the ONLY one who gets to turn the plastic cover on the stairs upside down and then scream for help, so he comes RUNNING down the stairs at full gallop in his sock feet and the little poky plastic spikes that keep the plastic on the carpet MURDER his feet, and we're 2.5 years apart. It's probably worse for twins though, since twins typically share a room and all that... closeness.

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Better still

by Oz_Media In reply to Not just twins

Armourall, smooth side up, nuff said I hope. ]:)

I am the runt of a brother and sister 8&9 years my senior, yeah a late bloomer, accident whatever you want to call it. (not a mistake, be nice!)

I have been subject to some of the most cunning and clever 'burns' there are.

Even now, I am scared to visit my brother with a date in tow, you never know what he's got up his sleeve to render you feeling so tiny that you crawl under the door to run away.

Sure we've got that sibling bond, sorta, but we sure like making each other look stupid. Now that I'm older I can help my brother gang up on my sister during family get togethers, it's finally coming full circle. I can't wait 'til my brother is old and starts peeing his pants again!

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I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!

by jdclyde In reply to Not just twins

Here I thought I was the ONLY ONE that flipped the mat upside down!!

But mine was one step better than yours. Mine was put at the foot of the steps, and my brother was known for jumping from one landing to the next. So skipping 8 steps and landing on the spikes.

It was WORTH the beating I took over that one!
(Older BIGGER brother, so I grew up to my daily beatings)

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What Not to Say After Sex

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk

1) "I was kidding about being sterile, you know."
2) "Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?"
3) "How come it's so BIG in there?"
4) "You've done this with a lotta guys before---right?"
5) "Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear,...OK?"
6) (Sniff, sniff) "Is that CAT food?"
7) (Yelling) "OK guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!!"
"You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!"
9) "My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better."
10) "Do you know what a '******' is?"
11) "Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow."
12) "I want you to try some of MY deodorant."
13) "I'm not into relationships. Can't we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?"
14) "Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!"
15) "I never saw a girl with hairy tits before!"
16) "I've been getting these little blisters lately...."
17) "You wanna do those dishes before you leave?"
1 "You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in there!"

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All but one

by Oz_Media In reply to What Not to Say After Sex

13 does work sometimes.

Sure you get thumped once in a while, or told to FO, but it's worth it when it works out. :)

I haven't done 17 but I have jumped out of bed and headed for the door, while on the way out saying, "do you want a beer?, NO?"

So I took the case of cold, untouched beer we brought home the night before.

Believe me, I needed it at that point!

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Ever have one of those mornings................

by sleepin'dawg In reply to All but one

When you wake up with something lying on your arm and you take one look and want to chew that arm off in case you wake it up??? :8}

Dawg ]:)

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Why yes

by jdclyde In reply to Ever have one of those mo ...

everyday for the last forteen years.....

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