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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

]:)

Have a good weekend all!

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New Title

by Oz_Media In reply to I don't know

Top 10 Things men care to know about women.

Top 10 things men listen to from women.

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Perhaps it's because...

by house In reply to Top Ten Things Men Unders ...

...well, maybe I know one thing about women - therefore, I will not finish that sentence.

Chris

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Hah...

by Salamander In reply to Perhaps it's because...

That's probably wise.

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I think it goes back

by jdclyde In reply to Perhaps it's because...

to my perfect couple post last week.

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Now I do have to take exception to the above it should read

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Top Ten Things Men Unders ...

1 The woman is always right

2 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

3 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

4 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

5 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

6 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

7 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

8 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

9 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

10 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

That is how it should read.

Have a good week end anyway.

Col ]:)

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You may be right...

by Salamander In reply to Now I do have to take exc ...

...wait...I can't concede that, according to rule #1.

Enjoy your weekend...

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ammended copy

by jdclyde In reply to Now I do have to take exc ...

1. The woman is always right

2 When she is wrong refer to lesson 1

3 When she is wrong refer to lesson 2

4 When she is wrong refer to lesson 3

5 When she is wrong refer to lesson 4

6 When she is wrong refer to lesson 5

7 When she is wrong refer to lesson 6

8 When she is wrong refer to lesson 7

9 When she is wrong refer to lesson 8

10 When she is wrong refer to lesson 9

I also notice how you put "WHEN" and not "IF".

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Are you SERIOUS?

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to ammended copy

Women are hardly ever right! Your wife never under any circumstance is right! :)

I just use that as a path of least resistance as I have to live with her. I'd have got a shorter sentence if I had of murdered her in the first place and no kids to help drive me mad as well.

I firmly remember after the first child was born I was told in no uncertain terms "NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then 18 months latter I get to hear "Isn't it about time we think about having another one?"

It just helps no end if you never try to understand them as it saves you heaps on Therapy. :)

It is also extremely important to never disagree with them either as you will always loose even if you prove her wrong you still end up loosing the whole thing and your words will be twisted into some form of insult like you said she is fat/ugly or whatever takes her fancy.

You have to be far more subtle in dealing with women in general and your wife in particular. After a 5 years period of refusing to allow me near a shop with her last Friday she not only invited me but insisted that I come shopping with her. So when we got into the supermarket she said what you want is down there join me at isle so and so. Well I walked down picked up 25 bags of peppermints and 5 1 K bags of M&M's then some easter eggs. I then joined her and she said what the Hell have you got there? :)

AS we walked around the shop I just started throwing in more easter bunnies and as she put one back I'd grab two and if they where put back I'd grab 3 she gave up by that stage.

I also got the biggest block of chocolate that I could find well at least the box is massive I really do not know what's inside it yet as I haven't attempted to open it yet. Well at the checkout she discovered that I'd picked up $60.00 worth of chocolate and threw a fit and then the words that I was waiting to hear "YOU ARE NEVER COMING SHOPPING WITH ME EVER AGAIN NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!"

Now the only down side is I have to eat all that bloody chocolate.

You have to seem to agree but actually do as you please when I'm asked what I've been doing I say the most outrageous things that are so unbelievable that she just laughs and doesn't proceed any further. :)

But the most important thing is always agree with them when they complain as it leaves them nothing to work with I not only agree but say I've done far worse, mind you I do not apologize for what I've supposedly done all you need do is say something so outrageous that it is beyond belief and they are left wondering how to proceed.

What can I say I like a quite life and if I can avoid arguments I will do it every time. A good example is when I'm out on site I constantly get complaints about not ringing in to tell her where I am although she already knows and has not only a Cell number but the land line for the company as well. Yes I'm guilty of quite often taking far longer than what I think the job will take so instead of trying to explain why the job took so long I just say I was too bust chasing the secretary around to have sex with her that I lost track of the time but I certainly enjoyed myself. That rates a response of "Well if you are not going to tell me what you have been up to I'm not interested!"

I'm not allowed in the kitchen as I break far too many items which "She Who Must Be Obeyed Complains bitterly about and delights in telling ever one of her friends what a cults I am!" The washing machine is another no go area for me as I was told to do the washing once so I did it no problems and then she started complaining that I had put in colors with whites towels with clothes and God only know what else. I just said it was the washing wasn't it?

I'll give her credit though she did try 3 times to teach me how to do the washing but I just see material and throw it all in together and then what really drives her nuts is that I take a shirt off the cloths line and wear it to work. She mutterers something about ironing the shirt & I just say it looks OK to me! :)

Don't get me wrong I'm more than willing to do things around the house but I just do them differently to the way she wants them done so I'm prevented from stuffing anymore things up. :)

Hey it works for me and I'm not complaining.

Col ]:)

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Smiley virus

by house In reply to Are you SERIOUS?

Alright... who gave you the sticker book?

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I couldn't help myself

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Smiley virus

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" was pocking her head in to see what I was up to I just said I was involved in some Cyber Sex with a young Chinese girl.

She just shook her head and walked away laughing only to return and ask exactly the same question a few minutes latter.

OH the book or should I say the books are free from TR so I'm using them all up before they take them away from me so I can not play with them anymore.

Col ]:)

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