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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"


Have a good weekend all!

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by jdclyde In reply to I do use

your weapon of choice?

Watch out, that will be the next weapon listed if they ever try to get the so-called assault-weopons-ban back on the books.

Well, almost time to go so I need to go to the bathroom for about 15 minutes and spork myself....

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by Salamander In reply to I do use

I, too, am very concerned about the proposed ban on assault sporks. Sporks with four tines are not any more demonstrably deadly that sporks with three. The fourth tine is strictly for sport. Regardless, I have a constitutional right to bear sporks...if the ban is passed, the government will have to pry my sporks out of my cold, dead hands.

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So they confiscate Airzooka's?

by Oz_Media In reply to I do use

I would suppose so, may just hit some unsuspecting pilot in the face with a rush of cold air. Can you imaging standing at the front of the plane: "Okay, everyone shut up or the captain gets blown!"

Somehow I think an FBI guy somewhere will find this post in his extensive search for suspected threats on pilots!

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If they outlaw sporks

by jdclyde In reply to I do use

then only outlaws will have sporks.

Who wants to live in a world like that?

My right to arm bears is protected.

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by Oz_Media In reply to I do use

I don't know about where you live, but KFC sporks here are deadly. Ghastly instruments of mass destruction.

Have you ever recorded your spork tunes?
You can get some real good beats going sometimes.

But why does Van Halen's Eruption always end up sounding like a hillbilly tune from Deliverance?

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by Dwiebles In reply to Good One..

LOL, quality, reminds me of my last job.

Enjoy the weekend all!!


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Well I love it but I fit into 3 different categories

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Good One..

So what does that make me?

Technology, Engineer, and Customer Service, now lets look at the 3 disciplines Technology well everyone that I work with in the Technology sector understands me perfectly so at least that isn't quite right but maybe no one else understands what we are attempting to tell them.

Engineering well I really make a very poor engineer as I don't like to sit behind a desk and shuffle papers wearing a white coat and caring a clip board so I suspose I'm more to-wards the customer service or Technical as I really like to get my hands dirty and do some real work. But I'll insist that the glass isn't either half full or half empty it was just too big for the job in the first place and I'll redesign the container to really suit your needs.

Customer Support "Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life." Well firstly I would say it's far more like 1 cent as 50 cents is way too high probably why I'm not allowed any sharp objects around me and can only eat with a plastic fork with one very blunt pointy thing on it.

"Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your boss." Who wants a promotion I'm quite happy where I am very much thank you but if it involves murdering the boss for a quite life I'll be in there faster than you can say "Watch out Col's coming!"

Now by that definition I'm a Self Centered, Narcissistic, Suicide waiting to happen who can not really hurt himself because both arms are far too sore from all that #######. :)

Col ]:)

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by Oz_Media In reply to Good One..

I will be taking that to hand out at a boardroom this afternoon. Those in attandance, middle management, IT manager, Senior engineers,VP, HR and acounting.

Should be good for an opening Yuk anyway.


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Watch what you wish for :-)

by Sitizn Wille In reply to Friday Yuk

Fairies - HA HA

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other, I will grant you each one wish.

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my
darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! -
two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me". The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but awish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and -abracadabra! -
the husband became 92 years old.

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Ever seen the cartoon?

by jdclyde In reply to Watch what you wish for : ...

Three big lumberjacks are sitting around a fire. One of them has a tiny head. One of the others looks at him saying "Damnfool thing, asking a wood nymph for a little head".

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