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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

]:)

Have a good weekend all!

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Survivor Texas Style

by Sitizn Wille In reply to Friday Yuk

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to
> sponsor a show entitled, "Survivor:
> Texas Style". The contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to
> Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville.
> They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa,
> Lubbock and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort
> Worth and finally return to Dallas.
>
>
>
>
> Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm
>
> Gay", "I Love the Dixie Chicks", "Boycott Beef", "I Voted for John
> Kerry", "George Strait Sucks", "Hillary in 2008" and "I'm here to
> confiscate your gun".
>
>
>
> Anyone to make it back to Dallas alive wins.

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Would

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Survivor Texas Style

Any one make it out of Dallas?

Col ]:)

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I just want to know.....

by ippirate In reply to Would

Why they haven't already declared the poor sap that had to get the car into Texas the winner already.

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True

by Sitizn Wille In reply to I just want to know.....

He should definitly get a prize!
Cheers

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Isn't he the guy making all the money from

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I just want to know.....

Selling the show.

After all it is only fair that he share some of the risks.

Col ]:)

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Two Cow Explanations

by Jessie In reply to Friday Yuk

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give
one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So
what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the
tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a
cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and
sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a
campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government
taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in
a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy
a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government
takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and
force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so
they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so
they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know
where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and
learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you
don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs
to you. You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000
cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

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I like...

by Salamander In reply to Two Cow Explanations

...the Russian viewpoint: vodka consumption increases economic optimism.

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This weeks Yuk has made it a good day

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk

The best friday I have had in a while.

Thanks everyone who put something in.

Have a good weekend and remember, Don't drink and drive, you might spill your drink.

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Some of them turn out be a lot of fun

by Oz_Media In reply to This weeks Yuk has made i ...

I like it when the Yuk is full of fun and friendly banter. It definitely makes us realize we are all just a bunch of people with jobs.

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Or worse still

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to This weeks Yuk has made i ...

Look like you've wet your self when you arrive where you where going!

Col ]:)

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