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Friday Yuk!

By Oz_Media ·
GOLFING PARTNERS-Between 6:30 and 6:45

Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred
out of town and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.

A woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?" They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought.

They all agreed and she said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round. The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her.

Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

She said, "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude.
If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointed to the left, golf left-handed."

One of the guys asked, "What if it's pointed straight up?"

She said, "Then I'll be here at 6:45."

Have a great weekend everyone, for those that voted Bush (FU,) nah just kidding congratulations!

For those who voted Kerry, well four more years and you can try again. Enjoy your country for what it is in the meantime.

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That's great

by Oz_Media In reply to In the 80s

Thanks for the tip!

Living in an area by a few reservations, it would go over real well here, everyone is used to indian customs and fascinated by thier culture.

I think I'll pick up a spiritual blanket to wrap around me and maybe do a small dance too, that'll raise some eyebrows! LOL

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Ya know Oz...

by mlandis In reply to That's great

I never thought you a man of any reservations.

It is comforting to find you have a few.

I have had my nose buried in mystery novels all week. My way of coping with bad news.


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Maureen I hope it was nothing serious

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Ya know Oz...

And you can get on without too many problems.


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It was a shocker.

by mlandis In reply to Maureen I hope it was not ...

I found out that someone I had gotten to know at the gym, who was personable, affable, funny, with a heart of gold, was great company and would sit with the group of us for a quick cup of coffee and trade war stories before we went our separate ways for the day is off to jail.

I don't have reliable information, and don't know the full story. The story is so ugly and so at odds with what I have known of this guy. On the other hand, he would sometimes say things that would set off alarms in my head, as in ok, don't discuss this, this and that with so and so. (Fundamentalist stuff - quite at odds with my viewpoint)

All I can say for sure is that a young infant dies and he was implicated and sentenced. I can't say whether it was negligence or anything since I don't know facts. So I am yet reeling.

All I know is that a few years back, a very you

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by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to In the 80s

Can I steal it PLEASE?

I can just see the looks on my customers faces.

Have a good one and a couple for me.

Meanwhile I'm trying to organize a new LT to be delivered on a special order by Wednesday so it can leave the country Thursday morning you just have to love your customers when they ring up at 11.00 PM on a Saturday night with demands like that.


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by HereInOz In reply to James GREAT ONE

How are you on the didgeridoo, col, that could brighten up the customers.


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Alan I allow the women to play those

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Alternative

Apparently if a woman plays a didgeridoo they are suspose to get pregnant. Of course I tell them all after the event.

But I've been known to "Point The Bone" at several units or ofter to pour several gallons of sea water through a running unit.

There was one computer that was only saved because I couldn't find an extension lead long enough to allow it to hit the water in the swimming pool powered up. But that's a different story as it was a freebie for a friend of a "fiend" one Sunday afternoon and I had to travel 60 K's each way. It all started out with an error message of imminent Hard Drive Failure on a P4 so I just took a new HDD down cloned the drive and thought well I'm finished here and that was when he wanted SP1 installed on XP it installed perfectly but on the reboot there where no longer any MBR's left on the drives. That was a nice fun one.

Needless to say I have not heard from him since.


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Good ones OM

by gbrownlee In reply to Friday Yuk!

Some quick onliners..please...keep the groans to yourself.

Calm Down. Its only ones and zeros.
Canada Revenue: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\>
Cancer cures smoking.
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Chevy trucks, Harley Davidsons and blondes ? I only ride the best.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime??
Crime wouldn?t pay if the government ran it.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

For those that have the weekend off, have a good one!

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Politically incorrent ....

by jardinier In reply to Friday Yuk!

In the spirit of having of a consistent set of rules for Friday Yuk postings, I strongly recommend, and hope, that this disgusting thread be lifted.

It is BLATANTLY sexist for the following reasons:

1. It implies that women are better golfers than men;

2. It implies that the woman considers her husband as merely a sex object. Can you actually MAKE LOVE in 15 minutes? Of course not. So the woman obviously uses her husband for quick gratification.

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You Naughty Naughty Little Boy Jules

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Politically incorrent ... ...

Now it's 32 Hail Marys and 23 Our Fathers and don't forget to job the "Poor Box" on the way out.



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