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Friday Yuk

By Shellbot ·
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Ok people, its time we had a bit of a laugh..maybe a smile or two??

Since I'm home sick..I'll start us off..
If no one helps out I'm going to get upset and throw a hissy fit later on!!

Some one liners:


Schizophrenia beats being alone.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we're through with it.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Jesus loves you! It's everybody else that thinks you're an ***.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you.

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iPod Dangers

by critch In reply to Friday Yuk

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.

The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod

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Best laugh in a long time

by Bizzo In reply to iPod Dangers

That made me cry laughing, thanks.

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LOL

by Jellimonsta In reply to iPod Dangers

I liked that one!

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Oh my...

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to iPod Dangers
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ROFLMAO :^0

by NickNielsen In reply to iPod Dangers

That's my son, right there! :^0 :^0 :^0

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LOL < nt >

by Shellbot In reply to ROFLMAO :^0
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Just like 30 years ago...

by critch In reply to Friday Yuk

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, "Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a 13 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 51 year old blonde. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

Now the wife, a very reasonable woman, told him to go out and find a hot 21 year old blonde, and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and if he was lucky he would have a small television to watch.

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from Computerworld Shark Tank..

by critch In reply to Friday Yuk

I just found this worth a "shake my head in wonderment"
http://blogs.computerworld.com/14654/because_saving_taxpayer_dollars_is_job_1_right?source=CTWNLE_nlt_shark_2009-09-04

This government agency is responsible for archiving digital material for other agencies, and it's time for a big data center upgrade, reports a pilot fish working there.

"The project was to greatly upgrade both the servers and the storage systems to cope with the now-vast amounts of data we were collecting," fish says.

"Part of the project was supposed to be an upgrade of the UPSes and the air conditioning in the primary server room, as all the new equipment would consume much more power and generate much more heat."

But one senior manager notices that it's been only two years since the server room's power and cooling were beefed up. He decides it's not necessary to spend thousands of taxpayer dollars on another round of improvements.

Fish and his boss try to explain to the senior manager about power usage and heat. They argue forcefully. They explain simply. Nothing works. He's not listening.

The best they can do is to get the senior manager to sign off on a document stating that he understands the risks and is prepared to accept them.

"The switch-on day for the new equipment was on a Friday," says fish. "It was a lavish affair, with the senior manager spouting to the media about how sophisticated the system was.

"At around 4:30 Sunday morning, I got an autopage from the server management console about severe overheating. Surprise, surprise."

Fish throws on some clothes and makes the 45-minute drive into the office. As he approaches the building, he can see the flashing lights of fire engines.

After finding the fire chief, fish explains who he is and why he's there -- and gets an explanation of what happened.

"Well, the air conditioning cooked and then failed," fire chief says, "causing the power to trip. The UPSes couldn't handle the load and two of them caught fire, and took out most of your equipment."

Sighs fish, "It turns out that senior manager had also cancelled the fire suppression system for the room, and hadn't told anyone.

"The media had a great time at the senior manager's expense, and he got promoted after six months. The agency head noted how he had 'raised our profile so effectively with the media.'"

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Thanks for that

by JamesRL In reply to from Computerworld Shark ...

I've had a devil of a time with our server room AC lately. I'm now well aquainted with the sound of the alarm that goes off when the temp hits 90 degrees (F).

That story made me smile.

James

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We lucked out

by GSG In reply to Thanks for that

Our HVAC system went out on one of the coldest days of the year, and the front door of the server room is only 20 feet from an outside door. It was kept up and running with a series of fans blowing cold air in from outside. If that had happened in the summer, we'd have been up sh|t creek for sure.

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