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Friday Yuk

By OH Smeg Moderator ·
Well no jokes this week just this picture which says it all.

Warning M$ new OS to replace Vista is now officially named here is a picture of the new case and name.

<a href="" target="_blank"><img src="" border="0" alt="M$ Windows"></a>

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Add this one to that list

by NetMan1958 In reply to PONDERISMS

If even though oxygen is flowing, the little bag does not inflate then why do they bother putting the little bag on the mask in the first place?

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and a few more...

by Locrian_Lyric In reply to PONDERISMS

A coward dies a thousand times before his death, the valiant taste death but once. That's enough isn't it?

If you get too old for wine, women and song, give up singing.

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

If a felon commits a felony, and a robber commits a robbery, does that mean that God is an iron?

Build a fire for a man, and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Why is it that none of the leaders of Jihad want to die for those 72 virgins?

I'm all for gay marriage, let them suffer like the rest of us.

I went very far in life, thanks to my Ex. And the more I think about her, the farther I want to go.

My best friend ran away with my Ex. Let the punishment fit the crime.

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by TonytheTiger In reply to PONDERISMS

? Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I get all the exercise I need being a pall bearer for my friends who exercised all the time.

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Something Mae would say

by jdclyde In reply to Things I have learned fro ...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.

I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

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I can identify with a situation similar to that!

by OnTheRopes In reply to Something Mae would say
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Me too.... ;\

by jdclyde In reply to I can identify with a sit ...

But I think I am the only guy who has ever gotten in trouble for NOT telling someone how horribly fat they look.... :0

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I suspect

by TonytheTiger In reply to Me too.... ;\

you'd have been in trouble either way :)

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:^0 :^0 :^0 <nt>

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to Something Mae would say
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Alrighty then..

by maecuff In reply to Something Mae would say

Men are like....Animals
Messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but occasionally make great pets.

Men are like.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like....Beer.
The first sip is always bitter.
No matter how many varieties you try, they are essentially the same; tasteless, full of bubbles, destabilize your metabolism and give you a headache, but somehow they linger and you either can't finish one or you can't get enough.

Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like....Bras.
They offer light, medium and complete support.
Men are like....Buses.
They come every 15 minutes.

Men are like....Buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.

Men are like....Computers.
And a smart woman keeps a backup.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Fires.
They go out if unattended!

Men are like....Fine wine. They start out as grapes.
It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature.
And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion

Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like....Oreos.
Once you eat the cream they aren't good anymore!

Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table

Men are like.....Recliners.
You pull the lever and they lay back

Men are like....Teeth.
You ignore them - you lose them.

Husbands are like....Children
They're fine if they're someone else's.

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by maecuff In reply to Alrighty then..

Why do men die before their wives?
They should.

If you think he's listening to you, you're wrong he's trying to convert what you just said into something with a sexual connotation

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