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Friday Yuk: Cell Phones and Stupidity

By lindamarie ·
Tags: Off Topic
I thought I would kick off the Friday Yuk with a funny commercial about cell phones and how people embarrass themselves everyday using them.

Linda Marie

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Some jokes to the New Years Friday Yuk

by rob mekel In reply to Friday Yuk: Cell Phones ...

New Years Resolutions for Pets

1. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
2. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
3. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
4. Circulate petition that Leg ******* be a juried competition in major dog shows.
5. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
6. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my ***.
8. Always scoot before licking.
9. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
10. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
11. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...
12. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

Quit smoking
A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking". The man says, " I am in the process of quitting". Right now, I am in the middle of phase one. What's phase one? I've quit buying.

Wedding and kids
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

A depressed man
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."



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A tad irreverent

by Dumphrey In reply to Friday Yuk: Cell Phones ...

An Irishman, a Scotts, and a RedNeck were sitting at a bar.
Jeasus walks in, steps up to the Irishman, and lays on his hads, healing a 25 year old injury to the Irishman's legs. Up jumps the Irishman. "Lord Be Praised! I am healed!" And so saying, the Irishman dances off.
Jeasus walks up to the Scotts and lays on his hands, healing a 25 year old injury to the Scott's arms. The Scotts jumps up, yells "Lord be praised!" And runs off swinging his leggs.
Jeasus then steps up to the RedNeck.....
"**** no! Do not touch me mister! I'm on disability!" Yells the RedNeck.

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Theological arguments

by OnTheRopes In reply to Friday Yuk: Cell Phones ...

So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.
So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.
"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a very big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "Heeeeeeeeee's Riiiiiiiiight!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"
"So?," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."

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I keep getting server down error the last 2 days

by DadsPad In reply to Friday Yuk: Cell Phones ...

Cannot see the video.

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I've been getting that since Saturday last week.

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to I keep getting server dow ...

Good to know that I'm not alone and more importantly that my computers are not playing up because I'm moving.


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Still the server is down.....why can't it be fixed by now

by DadsPad In reply to I've been getting that si ...

Did something bad happen at the site? :0

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