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Friday Yuk! - My first one

By JackOfAllTech ·
Tags: Off Topic
The Hunch-back of Notre Dame wants to retire so he decides to have open
auditions for his replacement. At the end of the first day of try-outs,
Quasimodo notices that the last applicant has no arms! "How can you ring the
bells without arms?" he asks. The man says he's sure he can do it and begs to
be given a chance.

When Quasimodo agrees, the man takes a few steps back, runs face first into a
bell and staggers back, stunned. Quasimodo says "That's fine but can you do
more than one?" The man takes a few steps back, runs toward the bells, misses,
falls off the tower and smashes onto the courtyard far below.

Quasimodo runs down the hundreds of steps and rushes out into the gathered
crowd. "Does anyone know who he was?" Someone in the crowd yells out "I don't
know his name but his face rings a bell!"

...
...
...

The next day, ANOTHER armless man applies for the job. He assures Quasimodo that he knows what the other man
did wrong and has learned from his mistake.

When Quasimodo reluctantly agrees, the man takes a few steps back, runs face
first into a bell and staggers back, stunned. Quasimodo says "The other guy did
that yesterday, but can you do more than one?" The man takes a few steps back,
runs toward the bells, also misses, also falls off the tower and also smashes
onto the courtyard far below.

Quasimodo again runs down the hundreds of steps and rushes out into the gathered
crowd. "Does anyone know who HE was?" Someone in the crowd yells out "I don't
know his name but he's a dead-ringer for that other guy!"

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All Comments

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Santee- I'll say that you're welcome too.

by OnTheRopes In reply to I got us to the 15th cent ...

I don't care if you even made it into the 1st century. Just bring all of your goodies. We'll manage somehow.

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I was gonna say...

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to I got us to the 15th cent ...

amphorae filled with hashish, wine, and olive oil? Definitely. I don't think we can leave Dawg out either, moonshine, y'know? Bettin' that stuff could come in handy too.

Have you ever drank moonshine? WOW. Knock your ahem in the dirt. A guy up the street from us in Hot Springs makes moonshine. Every year, last day of the race meet, he parties up and down the street with it. Wowzers.

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I've had moonshine.

by OnTheRopes In reply to I got us to the 15th cent ...

It was as smooth as Canadian Mist yet made me pitch to the wrong side of the two batters I saw when when we were having a yard party and softball game. :^0 I had to close one eye to straighten things out and even at that I couldn't get the ball across the plate. I voluntarily removed myself from the game and sat with the crowd on the sidelines. That was a partay!

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I am also a technologically useful human

by neilb@uk In reply to Technology Quiz

I can get us to the 20th century. Then, I am a Trivial Pursuit buff...

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I'm only fair at Trivial Pursuit.

by OnTheRopes In reply to I am also a technological ...

The sports questions get me every time.

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Perhaps obviously

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to I am also a technological ...

science and technology are my weaknessed. Oddly, I have been know to win Trivial Pursuit on regular occasions.
Go figure.

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I won against my best friend, a sports nut, and his wife.

by OnTheRopes In reply to I am also a technological ...

It was on a sports question too. I still remember the look on his face. <img src="http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa12/sharewhat2/Emoticons/21.gif" >

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Don't you just love when that happens?

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to I am also a technological ...

And how'd you steal the icon? Inquiring minds want to know. :0

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The icon came from somewhere else besides what you're thinking..

by OnTheRopes In reply to I am also a technological ...

Someone probably used it in a discussion board I ran across at one time or another. I've 478 pictures in my Photobucket emoticon folder. Hard to say where I got 'em all. Ahhh sees 'em, ahhh grabs 'em.

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Take a drink from the bottle.

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Friday Yuk! - My first on ...

Sorry I missed this. My bad.
Anyway moving it over; here goes.

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a
Genie.

The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will
grant you one wish, anything you want."

The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking
vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever
I want, so make me **** vodka."

The Genie grants him his wish.

When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard
and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and it's clear. Looks
like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he
takes a taste and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted.

The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!"

She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another
glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to
drink up, it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and
takes a sip. It is the best vodka she has ever tasted. The two
drink and party all night.

The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his
wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to ****
in the two glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is
excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Russian comes home and tells
his wife, "Natasha grab one glass from the cupboard and we will
drink vodka."

His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the
table. The Russian begins to **** in the glass and when he fills
it his wife asks him,

"But Boris, why do we need only one glass?"

Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight, my love, you
drink from the bottle."


Dawg ]:)

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