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Friday Yuk..Come ON people

By Shellbot ·
Tags: Off Topic
Fooling Around
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot."

"Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted.

After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George.

"I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister."

"Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."

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Thanks Mae!

by Surflover In reply to Time flies..

Best wishes in your new role!... There are many days where I think back to some of my earlier roles and wonder if that wouldn't make life a lot easier... But I'm too far up the tree now to jump (the fall might be fatal) :-)

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Nah, that's not the right problem.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Here's the situation..

You're in Vegas at your company's annual sales conference. You take a shortcut by the swimming pool en route to the new product demonstration for several major customers. You notice the CEO, VP of HR, and Marketing VP in the pool. All three appear to be drowning, with only seconds to live. it's obvious you only have time to save one.

Do you **** off the presentation to hit the casino, or try to squeeze in 18 holes before the sun sets?

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The answer is painfully obvious

by Tig2 In reply to Nah, that's not the right ...

Get the 18 holes in while the day is still nice!

Sheesh!

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LMAO!!!! TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

by meryllogue In reply to Here's the situation..

Happy endings always make me cry. Well... tears of joy?

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Not life or death

by 1Cat2Many In reply to Here's the situation..

I would grab the perfect partner. They're at a bus stop waiting for a bus, not the grim reaper.

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its a sad sad day when no one posts in the Yuk

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk..Come ON peopl ...

oi...everyone on holidays then?

right oh, I'm off to the pub now..there's drinks to be having..

maybe someone there has some jokes....
]:)

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Shell...

by Inkling In reply to its a sad sad day when no ...

If you happen to run into any U.S. Marines at any of the pubs you go to, be extra nice to them for me.

My cousin is on embassy duty there in Dublin.

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Embassy duty

by JamesRL In reply to Shell...

Once upon a time, I worked in a camera store very close to the old US embassy in Ottawa. The US ambassador was quite the photographer, and he would give us films to process. Often he would be too busy and he would send a Marine.

We got to know a few of them, and they would bring in their own film as well. I saw some nice pics of offroad jeep adventures(the marine looked at them so he could order reprints and enlaregments).

One of the marine guards was cutoff in traffic when offduty. At a red light he got out of his car, pulled out the driver who cut him off and beat him to a bloody pulp. But as embassy staff, he had diplomatic immunity and was simply asked to leave.

I wonder which isolated post he ended up at.

I was on an informal baseball team and someone invited us to play the US marine guard. I think I caught a bad cold in the middle of summer. Talk about competitive.

James

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Yeah...

by Inkling In reply to Embassy duty

Marines are easily the most competitive group I have ever been a part of.

Like any other portion of society, you have your good apples and your bad apples. The Marines that I call friends would have tried to kill you on any playing field and then bought you a few rounds after the game was over.

Also, 99% of the Marines that I know would have beat the crap out of that Marine for attacking a civilian like that. The Marine Corps is a very proud organization and we don't take kindly to people tarnishing it in that manner. Incidentally, this is why if you ever hear someone who claims to be a Marine, call themself an ex-Marine he (or she) either got dishonorably discharged or is a liar. Anyone that served honorably in the Marine Corps is considered a "former" Marine.

Marines on embassy duty (unless it's a hardship tour), live the good life. They live in nice places, their apartments are cleaned by maids, in many places they have their own bars...of course the job itself can suck bad. Most times you have two options (a) being bored out of your mind standing guard or (b) being scared out of your mind because your embassy is in hostile territory.

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Life in Ottawa

by JamesRL In reply to Yeah...

Other than the temperature and cold in winter, Ottawa is far from a hardship posting. Back then the bars did close at 1 AM, so many people scooted across the border to Quebec where the bars are open till 3.

Ottawa has very little industry - its either civil service or high tech. The male female ratio is in men's favour. You can go whitewater rafting/kayaking/hiking/cycling in the summer, skiing/snowmobiling in the winter. Montreal is a little over two hours away, Toronto 5. True rugged wilderness is about 2 hours north.

Yeh I meant no disrespect to the Corps when I mentioned the bad egg. I know we all have them. One of my staff was in an elite unit in the Canadian forces, and left months before the Somalia mission, where that unit did some terrible things, torturing and killing a Somali boy who snuck into camp to steal. But I don't blame the unit itself.

I often look at the Corps as close in kinship to the Canadian forces. For the most part the Corps has to make do with less - the US Army gets more funds and more toys, the Corp has to do the most with the least. Both the Canadian Forces and the Corps use the same APCs (LAV III), same planes (F/A 18), same rifle (M4/M16).

James

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