General discussion


Friday's Very Early Yuk!

By Steffi28 ·
It's almost 4.30am here in the UK, I've just come home from the pub after a chinese and lots and lots of nasty cheap booze, and It's the first time I've been out since the smoking ban and I hate it, its too cold to smoke outdoors!

Anyway I got home and thought the only way I'll be able to beat anyone to the Yuk is to do it now, sorry im rambling a bit anyway heres some jokes....

First a lovely song, sang to the tune of golden brown

Gordon Brown, tax me, go on!
Take my money - almost all gone!
With New Labour in,
We'll just never win.
Ever a frown, with Gordon Brown.

Every new budget hurts like the last.
Mortgage relief ends very fast.
Fate? That's one in The Eye,
Flush? I'm sunk...high and dry.
Interest rates never down, with Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown found a temptress,
Wed at last, she in a naff dress.
Shhhhhh! The damned tight-fisted git,
Even spent nowt on it.
Why, he'll never go down, with Sarah Brown.


An executive at a prominent software development company learns that the quality of software solutions provided by the company is in question. The executive takes immediate action and calls a meeting of the managers.

executive - "Quality is the differentiator for our company. Poor quality is simply not acceptable. So...right now...each of you imagine that you are sitting on an airplace at the terminal awaiting take-off...and you learn that the software controlling the avionics of the plane were written by your team. By show of hands, which of you would exit the airplane?"

Slowly but surely hands start lifting until all but one of the managers has their hands in the air. Intrigued, the executive queries the lone manager about that team's techniques that make the software so reliable. "What is it your team is doing to produce quality software so much that you will stay on the plane?"

manager - "Improve quality?!?! Heck...if my team wrote it, the plane wouldn't even taxi down the runway!"


I liked this pic, so true!!


And apparently Microsoft has a sense of humour

Edited cos the link had swearing in it and to warn that the xkcd site is probable nsfw as its heading contains a naughty word

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Smoking ban? That sucks.

by deepsand In reply to Friday's Very Early Yuk!

Is this local or national?

Are there exceptions?

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here, it goes into effect

by Jaqui In reply to Smoking ban? That sucks.

on January 1, for the city.
no smoking within 6 meters [ 22 feet ] of a door or window. no smoking in a shelter at a transit stop.

the workers compensation board made it illegal to smoke in public places years ago here.. the health of employees by forcing them to be in a smoke filled environment.

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Hope you have a big apartment or house...

by Genera-nation In reply to here, it goes into effect

6 meters from a door or window would be impossible in my apartment!

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Hey - this is a TECH forum; or, so someone elsewhere insisted.

by deepsand In reply to Hope you have a big apart ...

Don't suppose you recall who that was?

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by Genera-nation In reply to Hey - this is a [i]TECH[/ ...

as was pointed out by many people (and in the questions I asked at the time) if the tag says off-topic you can generally post what you like.

I know things may go too fast for you, but do try to learn to keep up with the current affairs!

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by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to However...

Stop boasting and claiming that you are getting it off with others unrelated to you be marriage.

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<img src=""

by deepsand In reply to However...

Surely you jest.

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by Genera-nation In reply to <img src="http://i152.pho ...

Were you jesting?

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Are you clueless by birth or by accident?

by deepsand In reply to <img src="http://i152.pho ...

You've a lot of nerve, acting as if you don't know that your decrying the subject of another Discussion as being inappropriate, and then participating here, is nothing but hypocrisy.

You don't get to pick & chose what is and is not acceptable here; that's for the community to decide.

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Sandy dear

by Tig2 In reply to <img src="http://i152.pho ...

I do think he gets it. And to his credit, has been good.

He clearly said that he had not run into a forum like this one before so was a bit surprised by us. A number of people told him that this is how we are. Including me.

He's trying. Let's give him a break.

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