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How can you ****-OFF a Customer ?

By just_chilin ·
How can you possibly ****-off an arrogant customer (tech support) without being fired?

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I think he was referring

by jkaras In reply to you cannot

to the dark side. Shamless plug. I think his post was tongue in cheek (man I hate that saying, oh well). We all deal with stress in our jobs, we deal with unruly people and people that feel as long as they are the customer they are exempt from any social behavior responsibility, that the worker is an indentured slave.

We have all experienced this situation on more than one occaision. He was entertaining our sense of pride that says "man if I could only to level the playing field." And do something harmless. Is it a smart idea? No, but we all do it consciously or unconsciously or fantasize about it like HAl said about giving her the wrong needle, he knew what he was doing but felt she had it coming to her. The result she had to humble herself to him to get the service she desired. The problem with business is the motto "the customer is always right". It's not true, just an empowerment excuse that has run amock, not after its intended purpose to emphasize with the customer's plight. Just because there is money involved doesnt absolve responsibility to treat others with respect. The example is just go into any retail store and watch the customers complain and threaten to save a penny over the most rediculous reasons. I've had customers throw merchandise destroying it when they dont get an expected discount, called a commie, threatened physically, demands for termination, verbal profanity in a rediculous tempertantrum, and even charities threatening boycotting if they dont get something for free (donation). The customer has learned that the squeaky wheel gets the grease and never thinks about the lives that they could ruin over their ego and greed. What is funny is the demand for professionalism at a retail store who pays an employee minimum wage , but hold that same standards to leaders? Rather funny and sad at the same time.

I do know he was speaking about IT and not retail but the mind set is the same, complete with the stereotypes that we endure. OUr revenge is the jokes of their stupidity or over charging for side work. I remember going to an auto wreak yard where the sign proudly stated price determined upon attitude. I was a quiet little respectful church mouse asking for my part waiting patiently and it wsa $5 compared to another jerk asking for almost the same thing was charged $25. It was a lesson that day.

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non tech support means:

by Jaqui In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

flash animation / javascript feature rich websites.
guaranteed to chase 80% ( flash ) and 50% ( javascript )
from even viewing your website.

no readily findable contact info on your website.

moving menus on websites.
( those fancy javascripted dynamic menus )


and I conducted a survey about these, those percentages are from the results of the survey.
number surveyed > 250,000
% responded was roughly 10%
those surveyed all working with new hardware and with high speed access, as they work / hobby with 3d modelling / animations.

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God Jaqui don't even think that!

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to non tech support means:

At one recent job where I was supplying the entire new network the owners wifes son was asked to do their web page and he nearly drove me nuts his original construction had everything you've described and took nearly 10 minutes to load over a high speed connection.

When I pointed out that most of the customers that he was aiming the page at where moist likely out in the field with at best dial up access and they would not stay on line for the 30 minutes to load each page he couldn't understand this.

It wasn't until I took him out with a LT and connection it to his personal cell phone that he began to realize just how unnecessary most of the crap that he had designed was. Incidentally he didn't wait for the front page to load either as he was paying for the call.

Col ]:)

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First reexamine your goal

by DC_GUY In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

Do you really want to make the customer angry? Or do you just want them to stop asking annoying questions? Or would you actually prefer if they would be nice to you?

Figure out what you really want first, then try to achieve it.

Making someone angry, especially at you, is usually a very temporary victory. In a situation like yours, where you already acknowledge that it could affect your job security, it could be the most temporary victory on record.

You've gotten lots of good suggestions of ways to minimize their impact on you. Learn to pity them or block them out, that works if you can't learn to love them and try to make better customers out of them.

This one situation doesn't mean that you're in the wrong line of work. These people are being unnecessarily harsh on you. Everyone has drenn like this happen and everyone feels like fighting back. You probably won't do that as a result of coming to us. You did the right thing. Good for you!

Be proud of yourself, ignore the critics, and then use that ability to ignore people the next time this customer calls.

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Well

by Tony Hopkinson In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

when you get found out you could offer your boss extreme sexual favours, threats of violence or large somes of money. Or resign as soon as you get called in his/her office.
Long term solution to politely prove yourself correct and then aplogise for being so crass as to show up their ignorance.
The other sometimes attempted solution is to dominate the marketplace and then put someone who knows less than the customer in support. Seen that solution many times.

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Play by the Rules

by Evil 9 In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

Very simply, you play by the rules. Go by the letter of the law (rather than the spirit of it). Make them cross every T and dot every I. Very slooooowly strangle them with red tape, but ALWAYS play by the rules.

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Transfer Problems if you can't solve them

by just_chilin In reply to Play by the Rules

I did what someone mentioned.
Problems aren't meant to be solved if they can be transfered at no extra cost. So I have transfered the problem up.
Whoever creates that stupid macro will be in trouble when it becomes a security issue.

thanx!

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Even the waiter wants to **** you off!

by rapell In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

'twud be easy for you to do that if the customer was around physically, but the magnification that can result from a misplaced word in a phone conversation can be devastating. Your boss could be called, start clearing your desk. Honestly I?ve, on several occasions before I got a different attitude on life, felt the lava rising in my alimentary canal, blocking and burning my throat, and almost slapped a client across the nose, but I didn't. It might have shown in my eyes, but my lips and face stayed impassive. Some guys can really **** you off, and you are not done yet, they will always be there. So before you write a book on how to ****-off clients, just think of how you would like to be treated when you go to a service station, a supermarket, a restaurant(very hungry)...etc. Would you like the waiter to say "hey you idiot, I understand you are hungry, but here, a French omelet takes 30 mins to get done, so **** off!" or better still ignores you while you sit and wait.....I don't think you'ld love any of that!

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Why bother?

by Skidoggeruk In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

Know what? Just forget about it, do your job and go home on time.

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by The Admiral In reply to How can you ****-OFF a Cu ...

It is simple. If you are in a large corporation and in a call center, once they get to a point where you are being pissed off, transfer them back into the general queue so they can wait for the next rep.

Make sure that the queue has at least 2 hours of wait time, and make sure you tell them that you are transferring them to a "specialist in the area..." "The product engineer..." "Or level two, since it seems that this might be a more detailed problem..."

Now, what was common practice was to tell the customer that their systems needed to re-image their system for a simple function or a general how-to question. Which was bad customer service.

I think it turned into general practice with the big PC makers to do such atrocities.

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