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Humourous help required

By neil@home_in_UK ·
I am in the situation where all of my SAN storage space is being eaten up so fast that the system will explode in about March this new year. I can't act directly as the IT is outsourced to the company for which I work so it isn't my system. Their IS Management have been warned by me repeatedly since last January and have done nothing. Just to relieve my frustration, I want to write a paper titled "Disk Space Management" using humour.

They are a Windows/Exchange house (turns and spits) and used to be NetWare/GroupWise and the OS change is the main reason for the trouble.

Early thoughts:

Set all desktops to 740 x 480
Insist that all emails and documents are saved in 6 point.
Selective cull of users. Canadian seal-hunters gave me that idea.

Any help appreciated!


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All the users are "Media People"

by neil@home_in_UK In reply to Remove is the key word

I suspect that they'll mostly taste like cardboard.


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Need a nom de plume?

by deepsand In reply to Remove is the key word

Feel free to use my alias.

With my friends in the "agency" & other low places, your safety is guaranteed.

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Humourous help

by Oz_Media In reply to By "cull" I mean somethin ...

Cull meaning 'thin the herd', 'unnatural selection', 'Electrify keyboards'.

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Neil - Re Media Crowd

by dafe2 In reply to Well, Being Canadian


There is a GPO that could reconfigure keyboards to the language of YOUR choice........And (we) could start a funky rumour about Celine Dion at the same time here......mmmm has possibilities for you.

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I don't care about the taste...

by neil@home_in_UK In reply to Neil - Re Media Crowd

I just want them FRIED!

Is there a keyboard setting for "Total Bollocks" cos that's what they talk, anyway?

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In that case.......................

by dafe2 In reply to I don't care about the ta ...

heheh Your a Canadian at heart Monsieur. A good sauce will look after the taste.

30 Amp Twistlock it is! :-)

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I can but dream...

by neil@home_in_UK In reply to In that case............. ...

LOL! I'm getting worried, though. I'm starting to prepare a list!

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by dafe2 In reply to I can but dream...

Considering the Season.......Don't forget to check it twice & separate the naughty & nice.........wouldn't want to unnecessarily waste electrons on good folks.

Great sense of humour Neil, Happy New Year
to you,


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Follow your dreams

by deepsand In reply to I can but dream...

Remember, life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.

Sometimes you just have to grab for the brass ring.

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7 to get you started.

by deepsand In reply to Humourous help required

In no particular order of preference:

1) Save 7 low order bits only (ASCII 7).
2) Remove all vowels.
3) Compute & save message digest hash only.
4) Randomly purge data based on critera of choice.
5) Allow users to use text based browsers only.
6) Allow users to run DOS apps only.
7) Convert storage space to giant 2-dimensional bit map, & compress the resulting image.

Non carborundum illegitimatae.

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