Community

General discussion

Locked

Humourous help required

By neil@home_in_UK ·
I am in the situation where all of my SAN storage space is being eaten up so fast that the system will explode in about March this new year. I can't act directly as the IT is outsourced to the company for which I work so it isn't my system. Their IS Management have been warned by me repeatedly since last January and have done nothing. Just to relieve my frustration, I want to write a paper titled "Disk Space Management" using humour.

They are a Windows/Exchange house (turns and spits) and used to be NetWare/GroupWise and the OS change is the main reason for the trouble.

Early thoughts:

Set all desktops to 740 x 480
Insist that all emails and documents are saved in 6 point.
Selective cull of users. Canadian seal-hunters gave me that idea.

Any help appreciated!

Neil

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -

You're Welcome

by house In reply to ( . )( . )

c:\temp arj x -v -y house.arj c:\temp

extracting to c:\temp\house.nfo
...........
...........
0 error(s)

type house.nfo |more

You're welcome. I knew that somebody would eventually understand the joke. Those were the days.

Collapse -

For the guys with the green shades

by deepsand In reply to Go monochrome.

Nobody can bring pressure to bear like accountants can. Enlist their aid, by proposing various cost cutting measure.

Many of the suggestions already posted here will easily fit the bill. Concentrate primarily on hardware & support costs.

For example:
1) Use Etch-a-Sketch pads for all graphic input;
2) Use paper tape for all textual input/output;
3) Use cheap black & white TVs for graphic output;
4) Use user powered generators as power sources.

Collapse -

Dear Sir or Madam:

by mlandis In reply to Humourous help required

It has come to the attention of management that you have too much in your box. Your box is overflowing and uncontrollable, so that no mail can come in or be pulled out of your box causing the mail to come elsewhere.

This problem will lead to a systemic failure known in the IT field as "Stressed Box" and may even cause a hardware failure that can only be eased by extreme lubrication of the mail box server - and even then, it would be hard to know if the box spasms indicate success or further distress. It would be best, if this procedure must be used, to turn off your system's speakers as there have been occasions where howling noises emanate through the PC speakers. This causes most of the male co-workers in the affected department to need to use the stalls in the men's rooms, and we simply haven't enough stalls should anything of that nature arise.

Before the most drastic steps are taken, please clean out your box immediately, and we will then do a mail check to verify that the mail can come in your box again.

Thank you for your co-operation in this matter.

Management

Collapse -

Then it's dear madam

by Oz_Media In reply to Dear Sir or Madam:

Being PC doesn't work here ! LOL

And would it not be a 'female, box server'?

Sorry but YOU started it.....AGAIN!

Collapse -

But you liked it anyway, didn't you?

by mlandis In reply to Then it's dear madam

It was just to give Neil something to tinker with and to give him a laugh. It's so frustrating tobe dealing with that kind of co-worker situation.

Later,

Maureen

Collapse -

Of course I liked it

by Oz_Media In reply to But you liked it anyway, ...

These discussions are often like a box of cereal, you have to dump out the cereal to get to the fun surprise at the bottom of the box.

Wading through the crap for a week or so and then seeing a post from you, Colin and a few others, indicates a welcome chuckle worth pouring a drink to enjoy.

Related Discussions

Related Forums