General discussion


Is it ever right to yell?

By kphayes710 ·
Recently I was in charge of a network installation project. I had a small team working for me and one of the members started distracting and "fooling" around not doing the work I had assigned to them. I raised my voice when I asked her to stop messing around and get back to work and some of the other members of the team pulled me aside afterwards. They told me I should appologize to the other member and that I had no right to "Yell" at her. I didn't see myself as yelling just being stern with her to get her to start working, so I didn't appologize. Am I wrong to have rose my voice with her and should I appologize for it? Is there ever an acceptable time to yell at an employee?

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you're right.

by Chief Alchemist In reply to "Subordinates DESERVE res ...

they call it work for reason. and the sooner more people realize that it's not their personal time - if it was then they wouldn't be getting paid - the better off we'll all be.

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Not yelling

by Dr Dij In reply to No

I had a co-worker accuse me of yelling when I was not. I was ticked off at her for foisting off a really minor task that was time critical and because she screwed up it went out wrong.

I told her in a firm voice what she did. She took it as yelling because my firm voice told her she was wrong with no argument, yet at no time did I raise my voice loudly.

What she was really saying subconsciously, was that person should not tell me I was wrong in a tone that accepts no half baked excuses.

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by Bobbyajr In reply to No

Raising your voice and yelling are two very different things. Sometimes it is neccesary to raise one's voice during a discussion to get your point across, or to convey your feelings on a matter. However, it is never appropriate to yell at an employee. Besides the possibility of being classified as abuse in a courtroom, it is disrespectful and demeaning to the employee and makes you look like a hot-head.

Just my 2 cents.

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No one automatically deserves respecvt

by deckmonkey In reply to No

We all of us must earn respect by behaving in an adult manner regardless of our position within an organisation. My staff and colleagues were all open books when I met them and they all earnt my respect for being adult, sensible, efficient, polite and conscientious. Any that were not would not have my respect.

As for yelling, well I think that sometimes, when we are under stress because we are responsible for an important job being completed on time and our staff are messing about, we do things we later regret. I have yelled (or rather, raised my voice - it wasn't out and out shouting and banging of desks) at staff before, but always away from the rest of staff and after numerous warnings in a normal voice. If someone deserves a dressing down then they should have it but there is no mileage in humiliating an employee in front of their peers so always do it in private if you feel you must. I'm not proud for having yelled at staff and I regret doing so - I'll happily admit that at the time my man management skills were lacking as I was new to managing staff and I was ham fisted about it, but in most cases, the staff in question apologised to me for mucking about as they knew that I would have to be really annoyed to do such a thing. And that doesn't mean I think that in retrospect I did the right thing.

It is remarkably difficult to fire someone in this day and age without them doing something that constitutes a breach of contract such as gross misconduct and acting the *** a bit doesn't really count and empty threats to fire people definitely doesn't do anything to enhance your reputation amongst peers, staff or managers and you will ultimately lose respect for it.

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If you do not show respect...

by MountyTech In reply to No one automatically dese ...

?automatically? then people will since this and will not return the proper respect. If they do not return the respect that you think you deserve, how will they ever gain your respect?

Everyone deserves respect ?automatically?. It is how they return the respect that you have presented them with that will either degrade your respect for them or allow you to continue the respect that you have shown.

Only in a military environment does the rule ?No one automatically deserve respect? apply.

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I disagree

by deckmonkey In reply to If you do not show respec ...

I do not show instant disresepct, merely a blank canvas which the other party then fills in by their actions and words. I usually know within an hour whether someone deserves my respect or not. The initial stage is not disrespect but a neutral ground of politeness and dialogue which then sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. This is how most adults actually function and very much how children, who are far more perceptive than adults, always deal with new relationships. It works too.

By your rule, if I were to meet a man who has attacked and killed 10 people and shown no remorse (to take an extreme example), I should automatically respect him. I think not. Similarly, when I get a new employee or manager, I do not respect them automatically until I know they are worthy of it and those who are always, without fail, demonstrate this very quickly indeed.

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Before you disagree realize that you...

by MountyTech In reply to I disagree

Before you disagree realize that you actually agree with what I wrote.

Your politeness is the same as showing respect. Look up politeness in a thesaurus and you will find the word respect. If that person responds negatively to your politeness then you will most likely respond with some level of disrespect.

My example was referring to the fact you have no previous knowledge of someone. If you first meet someone that you have knowledge of their killing 10 people and you disapprove of these actions then yes you would have formed a level of respect that is most likely negative.

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Not Quite

by deckmonkey In reply to Before you disagree reali ...

It is a technical and semantic point, but the dictionary definition of respect is:

To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem.

The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.

Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

Since the only respect when meeting someone without prior knowledge is in potentia, and therefore enither negative nor positive, you cannot be said to respect them per se. I have no deferential regard or esteem for someone I do not know, therefore I do not respect them.

To work backwards from poilteness via synonyms is rather tenuous, but as I said before, we are arguing semantics here. To me, respect is about holding someone in esteem and I simply cannot do so with someone whom I am meeting for the first time and know nothing about. Therefore, no one deserves respect apropos of nothing.

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by jcousino In reply to Not Quite

I think the rule is that you should "treat everyone with respect" It is not necessary that you actually respect them at first sight.

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What law are you citing?

by Shawn_W In reply to No one automatically dese ...

I only ask because I have seen this kind of comment from many managers and yet as a third year law student I have not been able to find a single law or even a case that protects workers from being fired; other than cases involving overt racial or gender discrimination. California (for example) is a right to work state i.e. you have no rights and can be fired at anytime with or without cause. If there are laws in other states that protects employment I would love to know about them.
In this case I suspect the screamer just has poor self control and his company hasn't given him the authority (wisely) to fire the worker in question. He also doesn't have the manners to apologize even though other people who were not slacking off were offended by his lack of professionalism.

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