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Is it ever right to yell?

By kphayes710 ·
Recently I was in charge of a network installation project. I had a small team working for me and one of the members started distracting and "fooling" around not doing the work I had assigned to them. I raised my voice when I asked her to stop messing around and get back to work and some of the other members of the team pulled me aside afterwards. They told me I should appologize to the other member and that I had no right to "Yell" at her. I didn't see myself as yelling just being stern with her to get her to start working, so I didn't appologize. Am I wrong to have rose my voice with her and should I appologize for it? Is there ever an acceptable time to yell at an employee?

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yell when only you and her there

by dw_ay In reply to Is it ever right to yell?

Before yell should give her an advice or a soft warning about her work. if she doesn't change then give her a hard warning or yell to her but don't do it in front of another team members. Maybe an apologize then ask her to do her job properly is Ok.

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Yelling at somone in private is still abuse

by john.carlson In reply to yell when only you and he ...

Yelling at someone in your office out of earshot of others is still abuse. There are many more better and efficient ways to deal with problems in the workplace. For instance, following a positive performance strategy. Yelling is a bully's tactic and is intimidating and abusive. It's still not ok to yell at somenone even if it's in private, especially if it's in private where they have no recourse but to break down and cry. Then you get the power over another human being that you wanted at their expense.

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didn't actually yell....

by kphayes710 In reply to Is it ever right to yell?

Ok, I just want to clear something up here. I never actually yelled. One of the other members of the team was trying to work and she was getting in her way and asked her to move. When she didn't I said "Why don't you stop screwing around and get to working like everyone else?!" I didn't yell just had a stern tone.

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that's what I thought

by master3bs In reply to didn't actually yell....

I'm reading a lot of these responses and most people are saying you shouldn't have yelled.

But it doesn't sound like you yelled. You told her sternly to get to work. People need tougher skin. That doesn't mean that managers can't wokr on improving their leadership skills; but if she wasn't working she needs to.

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I agree

by Dr Dij In reply to didn't actually yell....

they take an attitude of you not wanting to take any BS from idiots who either goofed up or are j**king off around the office as yelling, when it wasn't.

What they are really saying is "I don't want someone to tell me what to do in a stern voice that makes me realize I was wrong with no argument";

That hurt my feelings real bad, and even tho I a) screwed up badly or b) am goofing off and annoying/ disturbing others, he/ she doesn't have any right to point this out and/or hurt my feelings by pointing this out.

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I'm not a manager or anything, but...

by carole-y In reply to didn't actually yell....

It doesn't matter so much whether you "yelled" or "spoke sternly" - it probably wasn't right for you to lose your temper and make this employee look bad in front of their peers.

I think it would be professional of you to address it with by apologizing for singling them out in front of the group, then explain privately to the employee that you would appreciate it if they would focus more on the work at hand and not distract others while they are working.

You have every right to discipline your employees - it's just that if you do it fairly I think they will respect you more. Some people are more sensitive to criticism than others. I know I take it VERY seriously if someone ever corrects me - I want to be as professional as possible.

I have also been in an environment where people actually "yelled" and I think it is bad for all involved.

p.s. If other employees think you "yelled" then perhaps you should correct that perception before your actions set undesired precedents. Maybe an apology would be in order, not because you DID yell, but if more than one other person thought you did... Well, wouldn't you rather be the bigger person and just establish that yelling is not acceptable behavior within your group?

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Losing temper = good

by Dr Dij In reply to I'm not a manager or anyt ...

as long as you don't actually yell. the ID10T's realize with emphasis that they made a mistake. don't use bad words, explain what they did wrong.

And try to come up with way to prevent the aberrant behavior in the future, such as implementing 'standard procedures' for the situation that cause the problem. (this is for problems with work they did or didn't do, not goofing off which is inexcusable).

Resist temptation to apologize if you didn't yell at them and didn't curse. Anger is good if you don't let it spill into yelling or cursing. Anger shows them emphatically they goofed and you are ticked, if you can communicate this in a calm manner (angry but not yelling). They should be apologizing to you for whatever they did that got you angry.

They are upset that they made you angry and you made them see that you were angry. Showing that you are PO'd but without actually losing it is good. Actuall yelling and cursing? NEVER! (unless you're in the Army as someone suggested).

The anger shows you've already judged them and won't accept a bunch of BS excuses.

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losing temper means you admit defeat

by carole-y In reply to Losing temper = good

I agree with some of your post - that if someone messes up they need to be corrected. And if their skin isn't thick enough to accept professional criticism, or to acknowledge that they did something wrong, then they should not be in the workplace. If they are upset that you pointed out a mistake, too bad - that is part of life and how people learn!

However, I don't think that losing your temper is the answer. It is only reacting in a childish way. It is unprofessional, and an admission of defeat. It shows other employees that you are losing control of a situation, and opens the door to unprofessional retorts from the employees.

Surely there are other ways to let people know that certain behavior will not be tolerated then to get angry at them in front of others. Acting like that just takes credibility away from the fact that you were correct to be disciplining them in the first place.

p.s. I like how you assumed this person was an idiot. I have to say it depends on the environment, but don't we all occasionally "goof off" at work?

p.p.s If they ARE an idiot and don't realize their mistake by being pulled aside and privately corrected in a manager's office, then I doubt getting angry is going to get through to them. Better to take the high road. if the situation doesn't improve by professional reprimands, get rid of 'em.

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angry vs raging

by Dr Dij In reply to losing temper means you a ...

anger is an internal emotion which you can choose to express as rage or as quiet determination...
'losing your temper' is the rage I'm referring to.

Anger is quite useful, a realization something is wrong and needs fixing, just like fear is good, you realize you are in danger and need to remedy it..

I was advocating the latter. We may all goof off at work but we don't do it in a way to bother others, which I think he was upset about.

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Only In Emergencies

by BFilmFan In reply to Is it ever right to yell?

Only when someone's life is in danger.

Otherwise, you have let the situation control you rather than you controlling the situation...

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