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Laser that induces vomiting ...

By OldER Mycroft ·
Laser Energetics of America had proudly announced its latest weapons. According to boss Robert Battis, they fire green rays just like in Star Wars "to help the military, law enforcement, correctional facilities, security, border patrol, piracy control, homeland security, airport security and more."

And the good news is they don't kill the bad guys - they just make them puke.

This remarkable effect is caused by the green ray messing with the target's vision and balance, generating the urge to throw up. The weapon comes in two useful sizes:

#1 - A hand-held version, which is claimed to be effective up to a mile away

#2 - A mini-torchlight model, which can reintroduce you to last night's pizza from 100 metres

The manufacturers assured Zygote that their weapons of mess extraction worked even with the target's eyes shut, but they failed to respond to the obvious flaw in the system: what if the Terminator wears mirrored sunglasses ??

* Zygote, Computer Shopper, October 2009 edition.

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Possible survival reflex?

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Seen one

Maybe when we were living in caves, the most common reason to **** chunks was because we ate bad food. We all ate off the same carcass, and if Crog ate some bad meat it's likely the rest of us did too. Hence the reaction to sensory inputs.

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ROFLMAO

by Shellbot In reply to Seen one

Ok..yes..i'm childish and immature..i admit it..

that is the funniest thing ever..i laughed so hard i cried

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A family that pukes together stays together <nt>

by NetMan1958 In reply to Seen one
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Places this would be really effective

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Perfect

Roller coasters, aimed going into a double-loop or corkscrew.

Movie theaters showing the latest gore-fest.

Replace the 'stop light' cameras at busy intersections.

Mount one on the back of ambulances, aimed about fifteen feet back. See how many injury lawyers you can put out of business.

Reception offices for Congressmen; use it for the lobbyists.

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Could be worse

by jdclyde In reply to Perfect

"Explosive diarrhea"

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That generally doesn't take out innocent bystanders

by neilb@uk In reply to Could be worse

like projectile vomiting would.

Unless your definition of "explosive" is truly awesome.

:)

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Ouch..

by Shellbot In reply to That generally doesn't ta ...

Painful comes to mind... :0

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Hahaha...

by Jellimonsta In reply to That generally doesn't ta ...

"Unless your definition of "explosive" is truly awesome."

LMAO!!! :^0

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Innocent by standers?

by jdclyde In reply to Hahaha...
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Damn! But that laser is good! {nt}

by neilb@uk In reply to Innocent by standers?
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