General discussion


marriage in this day and age

By Lumbergh77 ·
Somebody sent me the links to the following 2 websites:

They paint a really bleak picture of marriage today.

I've always thought that it would be cool to someday find a good girl and get married. I'm not so optimistic about my chances of finding the one. I'm in my late 20s and it seems that most of the women my age around here are either single mothers, obese, divorced, smokers, or drink/party too much. I can't seem to find anyone that I would want to date, let alone live with for decades.

It seems that marriage is a HUGE risk for a guy these days considering that more than half end in divorce. The laws seem to favor the women and the men are financially screwed. There are lots of marriages that end merely because the woman is no longer happy and "emotionally fulfilled". This kind of stuff didn't happen 50 years ago.

How many of you guys are happily married? Unhappily married? Or single by choice?

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no disagreement there

by maecuff In reply to But

However, you must admit, that given your circumstances, you're going to be a bit more raw regarding this. It is a good idea to know in advance what you are getting in to. However, making a list doesn't mean that both parties are going to stick to it. Some people are good at telling others what they want to hear. Sooner or later, if you've misrepresented yourself, it's going to become apparent.

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Got to get past the infatuation

by jdclyde In reply to no disagreement there

many people will get married before they get past the infatuation stage where the other can do no wrong because you don't see anything but what you want to see.

Many will make excuses or think "they will change" when it comes to flaws in the other.

I have always had this opinion of being faithful, and marriage is for life. Even after I found out about the EX running around, I didn't start going out myself. Not until she finally made the jump and moved out did I even go out for drinks with the little cutie from class (that got me no where ).

If you look back, was every character flaw with your EX really a total suprise?

And yes, I did the same thing. Looking back I see many of the major character flaws that led her away from me were there all along. As long as things were going good she would be content, but when the rough times hit she just didn't have what it took and still doesn't have what it takes.

Her single biggest concern these days is getting her diary back and the love letters. Not getting the boys shoes or cloths, but keeping Mark and his wife from seeing her letters. Pathetic.

I have learned much, and am a better person and will be able to chose a better person next time around because I know much better what to look for and what NOT to look for.

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There is no doubt

by maecuff In reply to Got to get past the infat ...

That I had my part in the failed relationship. And in retrospect, I did turn a blind eye to what should have been waving red flags. I can say that some of the things that came out during the break up were somewhat shocking. I try not to think about that too often, though, I mean, I did sleep with the guy.

Right now, I'm making that shuddering noise that Homer makes when he talks about Marge's sisters..

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by CuteElf In reply to But


And be informed and knowledgable before you get too far into a relationship. Know yourself, know what you want: and know what they want. Match the list.

Things will change, ok, but, if that list is still static, the small bumps coming thru will be manageable.

Not like getting married to a person and then finding out they're bisexualtransexualgothic andlisten to techno..when you're straight and right-winged


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That would be terrible

by jdclyde In reply to Nah

I could never live with someone that listens to techno! :^O

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I knew that was what you were going to say!

by DMambo In reply to That would be terrible

Even before I read it.
And I agree 100%

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ok...I made the list...I'm checkin it twice

by jck In reply to AMEN!

When is Santa gonna help me find the "a lot of all 3" woman?

I can't find her...

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There's such a thing as trying too hard.

by TonytheTiger In reply to ok...I made the list...I' ...

Quit looking. Just go about your life, goin' where you like to go and doin' what you like to do. It'll practically fall into your lap before you know it.

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lookin vs. going blind

by jck In reply to There's such a thing as t ...

Ya know, I gotta say this as a single guy.

I get advice like that: "'re trying too hard. When you quit looking, it'll come out of nowhere."

Then I get: "If you never go out and look, you're not gonna find Miss Right."

Well, I get out...I do my thing...go to events and pubs and stores and what not. I don't approach every girl and go "Hey baby..." or anything.

I just don't think it's meant to happen.

Maybe I just need to start snorting coke and doing porn films?

It wouldn't be Miss Right, but at least I'd have somebody in my lap!!! ]:)

just kidding...yeah...I've heard that before. I've waited pretty patiently and been judicious if I did get to know a girl. But, nothing has ever come.

Thanks for the advice tho.

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Maybe you should just wait until 40

by TonytheTiger In reply to lookin vs. going blind

then get married and divorced, cause I gotta tell you, when I got divorced at 43, I had to beat them off with a stick. Even a couple of them who are STILL mad at me because I never asked them out (of course, that just confirms that I was right not to:)).

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