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(Nearly) Friday Yuk - 8/13/09

By boxfiddler Moderator ·
Tags: Off Topic
FBI: Man gives teller ID before robbing bank

Aug 13, 7:30 AM (ET)

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - A 34-year-old man is in custody after authorities say he gave a teller his account number and showed her his picture ID before robbing an Anchorage bank.

The FBI says Jarell Paul Arnold of Anchorage is being held on federal bank robbery charges.

The FBI alleges Arnold walked into an Alaska USA Federal Credit Union branch Friday and inquired about the balance on his account. The teller asked for his name, account number and ID.

Authorities say he complied, and then handed over a receipt with a note on the back that said he had a gun and demanded money.

The FBI says he got away with about $600. Authorities arrested Arnold on Monday. A message left after business hours Wednesday with Arnold's public defender, Michael Dieni, was not immediately returned.

Court records say Arnold was sentenced to 57 months in prison for bank robbery in 2004.



Stupid criminals, gotta love 'em! :^0

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New way to mow the lawn

by GSG In reply to (Nearly) Friday Yuk - 8/1 ...

This is true, I saw a guy in the neighborhood doing this last night. I stopped my car and just stared. What makes this so funny is his total disregard for what anyone else thinks.

I was startled when I heard this roar and saw something dart into the road. So, I slammed on the brakes. It was a guy that had tied down the safety handle on the lawnmower, so that it would keep running. He then fixed himself up with a harness so that he was pulling the mower by the handle.

He didn't stop there. He got on his dirt bike, and at top speed, was riding the dirt bike through the yard, pulling the mower behind him.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been a holder on the dirt bike for a can of beer.

I wish I'd gotten a video of that.

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Darwin award in the making...

by JamesRL In reply to New way to mow the lawn

Just waiting to happen.

James

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True story...

by TonytheTiger In reply to New way to mow the lawn

I knew one guy who had an ingenious method for mowing. He tied a rope half the width of his back yard to the side of his self-propelled mower, and tied the other end to the tree in the center of the yard. As the mower went around, the rope got shorter :)

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We discussed that very thing

by GSG In reply to True story...

I was telling my friends about this guy, and we discussed this method. It would defnitely work if you didn't have any obstacles.

I have 7 trees and two Holly bushes so this would only do a very small portion of the yard.

However, our employer had a raffle a couple of years ago and gave away one of those solar powered robot mowers. We never heard how well (or bad) that thing worked.

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Of course,

by TonytheTiger In reply to We discussed that very th ...

It's hard to beat having the kid down the street do it... and I've noticed that the grass always seems to smell better when someone else mows it :)

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Sabotage

by GSG In reply to Of course,

I think that the moles that have moved into my yard have somehow developed human intelligence.

They dug a small hole, but left the dirt around it, so, a few weeks ago, I successfully dodged the hole as I was mowing. The following week, they dug another one, but pulled some grass over it, so, as I was mowing, I stepped in the hole, and popped my kneecap out of place. I've done this before, so I snapped it back, and went on mowing, cursing the whole time.

This week, they got smart. They dug out without disturbing the topsoil or grass, making a little mole cave, and put it right where I wouldn't miss it. I narrowly missed a broken ankle, but did sprain it enough to make it swell up quite dramatically.

Next week, I expect that they'll have dug a tiger trap, camoflaged it with grass, and placed poison tipped pungi sticks at the bottom.

I really think that the rabbits, who are mad that I accidentally mowed one of their babies, and the neighbors cat that I nailed in the butt with a rock, joined forces and hired the moles to kill me.

Pray for me.

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A Mastercard Wedding

by The Scummy One In reply to (Nearly) Friday Yuk - 8/1 ...

You got to love this guy... This is a story about a recent
wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and
apparently even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with
a microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said he wanted to thank
everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank
his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give
everyone a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and
had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes,
he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately
after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding
and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's
reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000..

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the
bride ******* the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else
there's MASTERCARD

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Funny story but urban legend

by JamesRL In reply to A Mastercard Wedding

As for recent, the Clemson part first appeared in 1995. The first versions reported have been out since 1985. One of them has the Bride doing the theatrics, the groom having slept with the maid of honor.

James

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Umm -- this is a YUK is it not?

by The Scummy One In reply to Funny story but urban leg ...

I thought this was funny -- true or not.

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It is - even though SC takes one on the chin again. [nt]

by KSoniat In reply to Umm -- this is a YUK is i ...
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