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Need your help (ugly webpage and PDF)

By rstan251 ·

I am trying to put together a career training program with some free information.

I feel like I am operating in a silo here...

My wife has no idea how to help me because she is not technical and I am unsure if this report is worth a damn.

Would you mind looking at this and providing me with some feedback?

FYI - this is not a website but a landing page.

Let me know what it is missing or what you liked or didn't like. The page links to a PDF which you can see by hovering your mouse (its not dangerous!):



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But Doesnt the second

by The Scummy One In reply to Probably

L make it faster???

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by Oz_Media In reply to But Doesnt the second

Only when you spell it with an X.
X's make everything quicker, bigger, faster.

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by rstan251 In reply to Probably

This is why I posted the information. I am looking for feedback. Good and bad.


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by rstan251 In reply to Bunch of pu$$ies.

I guess I should have post the PDF as a stand alone document. the page presented is the back end of a sign up process.

I was really just looking for feedback on the document.

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Where to begin?

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Need your help (ugly webp ...

My alarms usually trip when a web site name ( doesn't match the company name (Copyright Prosource Inc. 2009). If you want to keep that bloated URL, I suggest registering and pointing the overly long one back to it.

The first item at the top of the page is the block of text "Member only downloads" that is unaccompanied by either downloads or membership details.

I'm not clicking on that link for all the dwarfs on Discworld. Why not post the contents of the .PDF as a separate page? Right now the site just doesn't look trustworthy.

"More to come....."

I suggest you take the page down until that 'more' comes.

Further down the page is the phrase "Stay tuned into your email ..." with no method, secure or unsecure, of providing my e-mail address to you.

"Regards, Robert"

I don't take career advice from someone with no last name or professional resume. Maybe those should be the first 'more' to come.

I was going to give you credit for a privacy statement until I actually opened it. First, you've pasted the copied 'boiler plate' statement twice. Second, each of the two copies references a different 'opt-out' e-mail address. Third, neither of those e-mail addresses match your web site's URL or the company name specified in your copyright. Fourth, first copy indicates the privacy statement is copyrighted to yet another company. Fifth, nowhere is the name of your company actually mentioned; you're supposed to replace all those italicized 'the company' text blocks with a real name.

Your TOS suffers from most of the same problems as your privacy statement.

Overall, the site looks like a get-rich-quick scheme. Ty Coughlin on line 1...

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Thank you

by rstan251 In reply to Where to begin?

Good feedback and the reason that I posted....

I really do appreciate it.

It is supposed to be the back end of a sign up form.

You are correct I did "borrow" the TOS etc... forgot to change all that stuff.

Any suggestions on eliminating the "get rich quick" aspects?

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by CharlieSpencer In reply to Thank you

"I did "borrow" the TOS etc..."

They're copyrighted. You can't 'borrow' copyrighted material unless you have the owner's permission. Otherwise, whether you agree with copyright laws or not, it's theft. Using such material sends the message that you're both unprofessional and unethical. That contributes to the 'get rich quick' aura.

As to getting rid of that feel, I'd drop the phrase 'high paying' completely. It send a message to serious IT professionals that your site is aimed at those interested in gaining certs as quickly as possible so they can append letters to their names on resumes, but have no real-world professional experience or skill. Perhaps 'get rich quick' isn't what it looks like as much as it does a 'diploma mill'.

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Re: borrow

by rstan251 In reply to "Borrow?"

I pulled it from some free legal forms site or something. I don't have real terms yet.

I agree regarding the "high paying" bit. It was intended to draw the new IT person and then redirect them toward proper career planning and information later in the process.

What do you think a more appealing name might be?

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by Oz_Media In reply to Re: borrow

Go for synonyms that job seekers eat up: Security, stability, successful, financial security. 'Opportunity' is a great buzz word. Phrasing? Whee to begin, "build a stable and successful career" "opening doors to sucessful careers" "find stability in an unstable world (market)" "Develop your own lasting career" Don't try to make it sound like a solution in a bottle, they don't exist. Make it seem like a guide to self satisfaction. That you can lead people in the right direction, that you have industry secrets that people need in order to get ahead in an inundated marketplace.

You can't MAKE anyone successful, you can show them the path though. It's the old 'leading a horse to water' routine.

You don't want to sound like some sort of two bit dog and pony show.

(wow all this talk of horse and ponies, how can you tell I'm Jonesing for the track! Two weekends away is killing me, I'll be near Seattle on the weekend, must find a little Emerald Downs time somehow; sorry, thinking on the keyboard again).


The key here is to identify and answer people's needs. When you are unemployed, what questions do you ask yourself? What do YOU seek out in an advertisement or employment opportunity?

What makes you go, 'yeah, sure' and turn the page?

If yuo are planning on mass marketing your website, paid positioning, spamming email etc. You can go in with the hard close, make money now, 'click here immediately' 'you could be making money as you read this'...etc.

If you are planning on working the slow and sure route of proper web positioning, keyword weighting and tag balancing for individual search engines, target your audience by identifying their needs first and be very careful in your phrasing to not sound two-bit.

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Get rich quick

by Oz_Media In reply to Thank you

Its tricky but there are many ways to make a deal sound relevant and unique without sounding like Tom Vu.

I'd really have to read the full doc and get a feel for your services before offering any marketing angles/copy though.

Its not something you can just throw together or use a cookie cutter formula on, otherwise you will always sound like someone else. Sure you can mope about teh internet and find all kinds of examples to copy or extract from, but that's ot effective either.

The fact that you are stuck here, in this particular part of your business development process is a bit worryign though, do you have experienced partners that can giude you through this too? It's going to be a long, ongoing process of testing and tweaking, not a fire and forget business for you.

this is exactly why many good ideas fail, they just don't have the right BDM working on them or the business owner decides to save that money and do it himself, it can't be that hard right? Wrong.

Again sorry for teh negatives but it is almost like you're biting off more than you can chew, I think you need to find a partner or business development manager to get this going for you. (No, I am not just seeking a new BDM job for myself, well not in the US anyway)

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