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Ok, enough arguing - I am going to take over the world!!!

By Ciderick ·
Ok, I am tired of all this political jibber-jabber & have come up with a solution... I will assume world leadership & abolish all political parties.

Seriously, think about it, here's my manifesto: -

1. All tech support people will be elevated to near godliness.

2. End users who call on tech support to fix their pc when the pc is fine, just turned off will be dragged out & beaten with a C64.

3. Free beer.

4. More free beer.

5. There will be a weekly tv event where Jardinier & Maxwell will be locked in a room together & given a topic of conversation - non-lethal weapons will also be supplied. (Sorry guys - I do respect both of you but thinking of this made me laugh.)

6. Anyone who is or claims to be a politician will be dragged out & shot.

7. All electrician unions will be disbanded.

8. Keira Knightley will be my girlfriend.

9. So will Kate Beckinsdale.

10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.

11. Microsoft will be forced to make a Linux OS & an open-source version of Windows will be released.

12. All Macs to be ejected into space. My rules!

13. No arguing with me unless I ask you to.

14. Geeks will now be seen as the new sex symbols, Brad Pitt & George Clooney will be made illegal. To go along with this GadgetGirl will be the new face of Vogue.

15. Jdclyde to assume his new role as Beer master.

16. The girl who works in the office across the street from me will also be my girlfriend. (Late entry but she's got a great smile)

17. Religion is fine as are religious views but any mention of it outside of a place of worship is forbidden except for the new religion 'Jedi' - Loosely based on the teachings of Yoda but also includes kneeling before me.

Ok, sorry if using anyones names in this comes across wrong but tough - my world, my rules. Who's with me? You know you've always dreamed about being an evil minion.

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But no longer would anyone ask

by jdclyde In reply to What would everything tas ...

what kame first?

( still would have hens and rosters! ;\ )

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You kan tell?!

by Cactus Pete In reply to But no longer would anyon ...

Just by taste you kan tell the differense between a hen and a rooster?!

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EVERYONE knows

by jdclyde In reply to You kan tell?!

that females have niser breasts than males do! Or are you a "leg" man? :0 (not that there is anything WRONG with that..... ;\ )

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Honestly

by Cactus Pete In reply to You kan tell?!

I just don't have the perspektive...

*kluk*

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Hen or rooster

by tyche In reply to You kan tell?!

In L.A. it's all sheeken

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phish ;-)

by dawgit In reply to What would everything tas ...
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uh... well ONE.

by jfowler In reply to easy

Well, if I don't get my next CHeck, what's the bloody point? (Otherwise, I'm 100% behind ya yer Majesty !!)

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The Alphabet Reformed

by tryten In reply to #21

For example, that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Next we reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" , might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue with doing awai with useless double konsonants, and so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. It wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

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OFFwith his head! Kries the Cween!

by oneamazingwriter In reply to The Alphabet Reformed

You were OK until you messed with the W and which and one. I am One Writer. I've already rebelled to be Cween so that I am the only One that the forbidden letter can be used in addressing. (That's about as Klear as mud!) Cween Won, though, after some thought, does have a lovely ring to it. Perhaps I will only send you to the bar in the dundgeon!

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Ummmm... yeah....

by keyguy13 In reply to The Alphabet Reformed

Put the crack pipe down...

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