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Ok, enough arguing - I am going to take over the world!!!

By Ciderick ·
Ok, I am tired of all this political jibber-jabber & have come up with a solution... I will assume world leadership & abolish all political parties.

Seriously, think about it, here's my manifesto: -

1. All tech support people will be elevated to near godliness.

2. End users who call on tech support to fix their pc when the pc is fine, just turned off will be dragged out & beaten with a C64.

3. Free beer.

4. More free beer.

5. There will be a weekly tv event where Jardinier & Maxwell will be locked in a room together & given a topic of conversation - non-lethal weapons will also be supplied. (Sorry guys - I do respect both of you but thinking of this made me laugh.)

6. Anyone who is or claims to be a politician will be dragged out & shot.

7. All electrician unions will be disbanded.

8. Keira Knightley will be my girlfriend.

9. So will Kate Beckinsdale.

10. Anyone who agrees with me will become a very well paid advisor to me.

11. Microsoft will be forced to make a Linux OS & an open-source version of Windows will be released.

12. All Macs to be ejected into space. My rules!

13. No arguing with me unless I ask you to.

14. Geeks will now be seen as the new sex symbols, Brad Pitt & George Clooney will be made illegal. To go along with this GadgetGirl will be the new face of Vogue.

15. Jdclyde to assume his new role as Beer master.

16. The girl who works in the office across the street from me will also be my girlfriend. (Late entry but she's got a great smile)

17. Religion is fine as are religious views but any mention of it outside of a place of worship is forbidden except for the new religion 'Jedi' - Loosely based on the teachings of Yoda but also includes kneeling before me.

Ok, sorry if using anyones names in this comes across wrong but tough - my world, my rules. Who's with me? You know you've always dreamed about being an evil minion.

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Which translates to

by jdclyde In reply to Girl Geek rules

They will do your cooking and cleaning..... :0

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The problem with your premise

by JamesRL In reply to Ok, enough arguing - I am ...

6. Anyone who is or claims to be a politician will be dragged out & shot.

If you took over the world, you would be by definition a politician, as politics is nothing more or less than "the art or science of governing". By laying out these rules, you have proposed a structure for world governence. So you either call yourself a hypocrite or have yourself shot.

Awaiting your reply.


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It's my planet now!

by Ciderick In reply to The problem with your pre ...

So I can be a hypocrite if I want.

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A long standing tradition

by jdclyde In reply to It's my planet now!

of having separate rules for the minions than for the ruling klass! B-)

Real James says it like there is some problem here?

Don't forget to take out the lawyers next, followed by telemarketers and insuranse sales people! Oh, the world would be so much niser!

Maybe it is the SHOT part that gets him? He IS a tree hugger, after all. Maybe if we throw up a gallows it would be more to his liking? B-)

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Off the Subject, But...

by Joemama1960 In reply to A long standing tradition

Subject: History Lesson
This is actually pretty interesting...
The history of the middle finger
Well,'s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.
Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers,
Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
My Dad sent me this. Hes getting a bit more savvy every day!

And yew thought yew knew everything!

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Ahem... Sorry, but,

by neilb@uk In reply to Off the Subject, But...

The one-fingered salute is more American than British although it goes back before us both. The English version is the first and second fingers of the hand forming a 'V'. With the palm towards the other party, it is the "Churchill Victory salute" and OK and with the palm towards onself it is the equivalent of the digitus impudicus (f'ck off). The myth is still told the same as - in the English version - these were the fingers supposedly to be cut off. Alas, it's a myth as well. The French knights would not have bothered with any but English knights - fellow aristocrats - and would have butchered any captured English peasants immediately, archers or not.

The "digit" is simply a phallic reference and "Giving the bird" is purely American - simply not used except by people who watch too much Friends and other imported stuff.

As for the word in question, it's Low German and came into the language around seven hundred years ago from Holland. Pluck is from Latin. Anyway, you pluck the string and not the bow itself.

As for Agincourt, the mud won it for us. If a French knight got knocked off his horse or his horse was shot out from under him then he was stuck until one of the English unarmoured archers came and stuck a cleaver in him or captured him for ransom if he was lucky.


Now, that is true!


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Before I read any more

by oneamazingwriter In reply to Ok, enough arguing - I am ...

of this post I want you to know that I totally agree with you (there's money in this for me, right?) You are the boss (how much money?) I will obey ( it had better be one huge payKeck- pieSe of paper with an amount written on it for me signed by you!)

Your willing (for a priSe) subjeKt (and even prediKate if the priSe is right),

"one" (beKause you are the only one allowed to be amazing and I won't have to be a writer beKause there's money in this!)

Edit:@#!*@ first time I make a deSent post and then I read what the new ruler of FranSe said and I had to edit out the aKursed letters!

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A Flogging for this one!

by jdclyde In reply to Before I read any more

She used the akkursed letter in the sekond line of her post! We must make an example of her, or there will soon be other "free thinkers" that feel they kan use THAT letter as they see fit!

Assume the position! ]:) (jaqui, need to borrow whip #4 please!)

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by oneamazingwriter In reply to A Flogging for this one!

Sh*T! A flogging! (This Kan't be worth the pay!)

Jaqui? Sweety? Baby? Could you tell him that whip #4 is broken and you only have Kooked pasta to work with?

Position? Wait! Let me put on my sneakers, first. (Runners take your positions!) Let me tell you, as soon as I hear the first snap...I'm out of here...setting a new world reKord for the 10 seKond mile!

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Repeat offenders get #9

by jdclyde In reply to OH! :(

Some people never learn!

Oh yeah, used to be long distanse runner, so running will only add to the rush of the hunt! ]:)

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