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Okay, who's hiding the Friday YUK???

By sleepin'dawg ·
Tags: Off Topic
A young punk climbs on a city bus. The kid has spiked hair
colored green, yellow and orange. His clothing is a tattered mix
of rags, and his legs are partially bare and he has no shoes on.
His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry, and
his earrings are big, bright, yellow and adorned with colored
feathers.

The young punk sits down in the only vacant seat, which happens
to be directly across the aisle from an old man, who just glares
at the kid for the next ten miles.

Finally, the self-conscious kid yells at the old man - "What the
**** are you looking at, you old fart? Didn't you ever do
anything wild when you were young?"

Without so much as missing a beat, the old man replies, "Well,
yes I did. Back when I was very young and in the Navy, I got
really drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot. I was
thinking that you might be my son."


Dawg ]:)

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Quotes from the great one...

by critch In reply to Okay, who's hiding the Fr ...

Alfred E. Neuman

"Smoking helps you lose weight -- one lung at a time!"

"Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for 10 grand, he'll show you the door!"

"Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!"

"Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!"

"Thank's to the new welfare bill, the question "Paper or plastic?" now refers to many American's sleeping arrangements!"

"In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!"

"Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!"

"If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation!"

"A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!"

"The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!"

"Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!"

"How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?"

"It takes one to know one -- and vice versa!"

"Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!"

"Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!"

"A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!"

"How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?"

"Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!"

"You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!"

"Blood is thicker than water... but it makes lousy lemonade!"

"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!"

"A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!"


and for those who have had the pleasure of his wisdom..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_E._Neuman

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Shouldn't this be....

by tcavadias Staff In reply to Quotes from the great one ...

>>>"Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for 10 grand, he'll show you the door!"


"He'll show you the gas station pump?"

-Tammy :-)

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Well, he was always a shy around the town pump....

by critch In reply to Shouldn't this be....

But enough about her...

I googled "Alfred E Neuman Gas Prices" ...
I was amazed at how often he was referred to...

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LOL :^0

by The Scummy One In reply to Quotes from the great one ...

"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!"

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Mr Neuman just makes me MAD

by Dumphrey In reply to Quotes from the great one ...

that being said, I think we should put him forth as the independent candidate again this year.

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He ran for President once...

by critch In reply to Mr Neuman just makes me M ...

and his motto was
"You could worse.... and usually do...."

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So he speaks the ruth then

by w2ktechman In reply to He ran for President once ...

Hmmm, maybe gots my vote :^0

So how many writers would that be then :0

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So did Pat Paulsen

by RPip In reply to He ran for President once ...

I believe his 1968 motto was 'Vote or get off the pot'. And if you're old enough to remember him, bless you.

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