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  • #2183566

    Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

    Locked

    by gadgetgirl ·

    but now it’s official!!

    see here ….. http://tinyurl.com/jo46b

    “less performance anxiety” – does that mean that if they fall from the chandalier, they’re not really bothered??

    Hope you all (sorry, Mae) y’all have fun with this one!

    😀

    GG

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    • #3101212

      I’m 64

      by jardinier ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      Would you care to participate in a case study with me?

      [b]Wally’s wedding night[/b]

      At 85 years of age, Wally married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

      Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

      After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected “knock” on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

      They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

      After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Wally. Again he is ready for more “action”.

      Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

      She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it – Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more “action”. And, once again they enjoy each other.

      But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally.”

      Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says:

      ………”You mean I was here already?”

      • #3101196

        early <-> late

        by rob mekel ·

        In reply to I’m 64

        Is this already friday’s YUK or still.

        Nice one jardinier. 😀

        Rob

      • #3101187

        Fairy (sorry to all the men out there)

        by vawns ·

        In reply to I’m 64

        > >A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th
        >wedding
        > >anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny
        >yet
        > >beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an
        > >exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all
        >this
        > >time, I will grant you each a wish.” “Oh, I want to travel around the
        >world
        >
        > >with my darling husband” said the wife. The fairy waved her magic
        wand
        >and
        > >- poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in
        >her
        > >hands.
        > >
        > >Then it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a moment and said:
        >”Well,
        > >this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never
        come
        >
        > >again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years
        >younger
        > >than me. ” The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a
        >wish
        > >is a wish…
        > >
        > >So the fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – the husband became
        > >92 years old.
        > >
        > >The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should
        remember
        >
        > >fairies are female.

    • #3101171

      funny how the most

      by gadgetgirl ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      frank and open discussion on this particular topic ….http://tinyurl.com/oxqex

      is on a site named Global Action on Aging!!!

      So, all you over 60’s out there – wanna chip in your two penn’orth?! I bet you have some tales to tell……..

      Hmm.

      Should I take this thread, if it evolves, and turn it into hints for female under 60’s??!!!

      😀

      GG

    • #3101149

      You missed the point of the article

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      It didn’t say the sex was GOOD, just that the old men were content. When you lose interest in something because of your heart medicine or wedding cake, it doesn’t take as much to make you content.

      “less performance anxiety” = “not give a crap what the partner thinks”

      Now as soon as I can finish trading my 38 in for two 19’s, I will test this theory and get back to you! ]:)

    • #3102969

      Quick survey

      by jardinier ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      I will turn 65 in April. How many TR members (if any) are older than myself?

      And to address the topic — I have never been satisfied with the amount of sex I get.

      • #3102903

        That’s the big question………………………

        by sleepin’dawg ·

        In reply to Quick survey

        Just how much is enough and when do you know you’ve had it???

        [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

        • #3102856

          You have had enough

          by jardinier ·

          In reply to That’s the big question………………………

          when you need a skin graft on your, er …. member.

          You will know you have had enough when the thought of having more brings on an acute anxiety attack.

        • #3102791

          so what is it…

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to You have had enough

          when the thought of having ANY AT ALL brings on an acute panic/anxiety attack???

          :p

          GG

        • #3101652

          This state occurs

          by jardinier ·

          In reply to so what is it…

          after you have had several successive relationships with girls who were quite unable to achieve orgasm, and blamed the man.

          How do I know this?

          Go figure it out.:(

        • #3103386

          I found in my youth

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to You have had enough

          WATER is NOT a lubricatant! :O

          Can you say “OW!” ? LOTS of time at the beach…..

        • #3102792

          specify….

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to That’s the big question………………………

          and I’ll tell you the answers!!!

          😀

          GG

        • #3103388

          How to know

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to That’s the big question………………………

          How do you know you have had enough? When you don’t want anymore…..

          (or so I have heard.)

        • #3101623

          How ’bout….

          by jessie ·

          In reply to How to know

          When your 5 children all end up in your bed, and you have to sleep on the floor… you’ve had enough!

        • #3100968

          I guess

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to How ’bout….

          I need some more lov’en then!

          (always great to see you pop out Jess!)

          😀

      • #3102855

        Not enough???

        by jzsdii ·

        In reply to Quick survey

        Too much????….Too little???

      • #3102841

        Sorry Jules,

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to Quick survey

        you’re older than I…….

        but your memory is probably better than mine…..sex? whassat?

        ]:)

        GG

        • #3102836

          “sex? whassat?”

          by jardinier ·

          In reply to Sorry Jules,

          Don’t ask me. I have gone through such a long drought that I can’t remember what it is either.

        • #3102829

          Bugger.

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to “sex? whassat?”

          I thought you’d at least be good for a reminder!

          Oh well.

          The decadrought continues…. :p

          ]:)

          GG

        • #3101622

          Sex is

          by jessie ·

          In reply to Bugger.

          what happens 9 months before the baby arrives. 🙂

        • #3101463

          It includes

          by cuteelf ·

          In reply to “sex? whassat?”

          Toe curling
          Big Empty Smiles

          Feeling like jello
          Laying on bed/furniture and not wanting to move

          Also:
          Possible cig/drink afterwards
          Possible sammich/munchie

          Rolling over and snoring heavily.

          you know when you’ve had enough when you will take a straight 8 hour sleep over 6 hours sleep + 2 hours sex.

          Jard, I understand. Been a while here too.

          CuteElf

        • #3103384

          whassat?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Sorry Jules,

          Sex is when you sit in front of your computer, alone for about 20 minutes. :O :p

    • #3103348

      I’ve known.

      by itgirli ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      Older men are better. They give you less crap to put up with. They are much better lovers as well. They have a better idea at what they are doing.
      Men over 40 are great!

      • #3103275

        Agreement at last!

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to I’ve known.

        Girli, I thought you were never going to get here!

        Where you been when I needed “back up”??!!

        Agreed – you don’t have to teach them anything! Good, innit?!

        ]:)

        GG

        • #3103223

          yep!

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Agreement at last!

          Never send a boy to do a man’s job!

        • #3103210

          If over 40 is “great”

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to yep!

          where does that leave the rest of us? “not bad”? :O

          Why don’t many women get what they want out of sex? Because they aren’t mature enough to come out and say EXACTLY what they want/need. Can’t lay back going along for the ride, and then complain after the fact, dontchaknow? ;\

        • #3103199

          maybe some

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to If over 40 is “great”

          But I have no problem telling a guy what I want. Young guys just don’t know how to get the job done. They try, bless them, but they just lack the art.

        • #3103193

          Don’t be

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to If over 40 is “great”

          jalouze jd? :O

          Under 40 is a great age. And ….

          think of all the nice things to com for you (not me, that’s for sure) 😀

          Rob

        • #3101614

          Just waitin’

          by jessie ·

          In reply to If over 40 is “great”

          for ya’ll to hit 40… like my hubby did this year 😀 but then… he’s been “talented” since before I met him 11 years ago… some men are just [i]born with it.[/i]

        • #3101567

          Oh sure..

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to If over 40 is “great”

          and as soon as we start giving explicit instructions, y’all get all whiny..”What..you don’t LIKE what I’ve been doing all along..”

        • #3100714

          They do! They do!

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Oh sure..

          Once you get comfortable enough to tell them how it’s supposed to be done, they act all insulted. How about, for once, they be happy that we’re telling them all the answers.

        • #3100672

          It all depends

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Oh sure..

          on the jerk your with.

          some of us realize that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, where you can just down down your checklist.

          Something you want, got to speak up! There are plenty of us out here more than willing to do what you want, instead of what we learned you like from watching pornos.

          What? You mean not everyone likes it THERE? Not everyone likes to finish like THAT? Now everyone likes to be slapped and called $#%^#$^# ?
          But I saw it in the movies, and they looked like they were having a grand old time!!! :O

          So really now, which approach would YOU rather have? ;\ You will find many of the things we do are what we REALLY think you want! Set us STRAIGHT! (no comment on that. Be nice, I was!) 😀

        • #3103182

          Well if it’s experience and finesse you are looking for……………

          by sleepin’dawg ·

          In reply to yep!

          I’m just simply oozing with it.;) I would have added unfortunately but so far, thankfully, I’m still good to go.

          Of course being the cynic that I am, I just figured that girls/women preferred us older guys because we are usually more likely to be able to afford you. Not that it matters, really.

          [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

        • #3103176

          nope

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Well if it’s experience and finesse you are looking for……………

          I afford myself.

        • #3101618

          afford myself

          by jessie ·

          In reply to nope

          and my own “toys” and some “toys” for hubby too… s’all good! ]:)

      • #3101773

        Girli…

        by cortech ·

        In reply to I’ve known.

        The same could be said for older women.

        • #3101771

          fair enough

          by itgirli ·

          In reply to Girli…

          But it seems that older women don’t seem to enjoy it as much.

        • #3101755

          Or more importantly

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to fair enough

          [b]WANT[/b] it as much!

          This is where the men not having a satisfactory sex life comes in.

          This is also the reason when you turn 40 you get a corvette and get a 20 year old cutie. 😀

        • #3101564

          And you deserve

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Or more importantly

          the vapid, banal conversations you must endure the 23 hours and 45 minutes that you AREN’T having sex..

        • #3100679

          15 minutes?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to And you deserve

          wow, I’m lasting longer than ever! :O

          This is the reason they have LOUD sound systems in the corvettes! Metal drowns out banal…. ;\

        • #3101577

          I don’t think so…

          by jessie ·

          In reply to fair enough

          … to hear my mother talk (EWWW GROSS TMI) she quite enjoys a good “sit and spin” EWWWW!!!! MUST ERASE IMAGE FROM HEAD!!

        • #3101565

          It depends on what you mean by ‘older’

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to fair enough

          I’ll be 43 on Saturday and I like sex a LOT more now than I did when I was 23.

        • #3100521

          Well older…

          by cortech ·

          In reply to It depends on what you mean by ‘older’

          I certainly don’t mean OLD.
          I’m 38 and my wife is 46.

        • #3101769

          Yup!!!

          by sleepin’dawg ·

          In reply to Girli…

          They don’t yell,
          They don’t tell,
          They don’t swell,
          And best of all,
          they’re greatful as hell!!!

          [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

      • #3101648

        Thank you

        by jardinier ·

        In reply to I’ve known.

        for the implied compliment.;)

    • #3101669

      Husband Super Store

      by maxwell edison ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      Recently a “Husband Super Store” opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor. If you went up a floor, you couldn’t go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

      A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands…

      First floor
      The door had a sign saying, “These men have jobs and love kids.” The women read the sign and said, “Well, that’s better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up they went.

      Second floor
      The sign read, “These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.” “Hmmm,” said the ladies, “But, I wonder what’s further up?”

      Third floor
      This sign read, “These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework.” “Wow,” said the women, “Very tempting.” But there was another floor, so further up they went.

      Fourth floor
      This door had a sign saying “These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.” “Oh, mercy me,” they cried, “Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

      Fifth floor
      The sign on that door said,

      This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are friggin’ impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs.

      • #3101668

        Wife Super Store

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to Husband Super Store

        Across the street was a “Wife Super Store”, where men could go to choose a wife from among many women. It was also laid out in five floors, with the women increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was the same, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a woman from that floor. If you went up a floor, you couldn’t go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

        A couple of guys went to the shopping centre to find some wives…

        First floor
        The door had a sign saying, “These women love sex.” The men read the sign and said, “Well, that’s better than what I have now, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up they went.

        Second floor
        The sign read, “These women love sex, and they’re drop-dead gorgeous.”

        They both picked a woman and left the store.

        What was on the third floor?

        Third floor
        This sign read, “All floors above the second are closed due to no shoppers.”

      • #3101654

        True, real life story

        by jardinier ·

        In reply to Husband Super Store

        I have a female friend who has had a steady sex life with men, including a “harem” on a roster basis when she was in her late teens.

        She told me that because she was fascinated with big boobs, she had an affair with a woman that lasted for one year.

        “So why did it end?” I asked.

        “Women are impossible to satisfy.”

    • #3101636

      That depends

      by oz_media ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      In th ecase of some of our peers here, I don’t know if counting birthdays would work anymore, it would require more of a carbon dating science in some cases I think. 😉

      As far as [i]”Men in their 50s have more satisfying sex lives than men in their 30s, a survey suggests.”[/i]

      I would suggest men in their 80’s would have a much more satisfying sex life than men in their 50’s too, as do thier partners. By that age, if you can get it up at all, time for mass celebration. If not, Viagra will at least keep the ladies happy (as long as you can get used to a four hour woodie long after the music dies).

      Sorry, Monty Pythons is on and I always get a little wapred when I get into it.

      Right now they are explaining how to play the flute and cure the world of all known diseases.( a Blue Peter take off)

      To play teh flute, you blow in one end, and wiggle your fingers up and down the other end.

      To cure the world of all known diseases, become a doctor and discover a marvellous cure for something and then, when the medical world really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right, so that there’ll never be diseases anymore.

      • #3101556

        War veterans

        by jardinier ·

        In reply to That depends

        Two elderly WW I veterans were sitting in their club reminiscing.

        “Joe,” said one of them. “Do you remember that stuff they used to put in our tea to reduce our sex drive?”

        “I think that was called bromide, is that what you are referring to?” replied Joe.

        “Yes, that’s it,” said Fred.

        “So what about it?” asks Joe.

        “Well, Joe, I think it’s finally starting to work.”

      • #3100710

        You know, perhaps the real truth in it is…

        by itgirli ·

        In reply to That depends

        Men in their 30s are not getting all they want of it and they remember how much they used to, and I bet it gets them down a little.
        Whereas men in their 50s are just happy to be getting it at all.

        • #3100957

          Lateral thinking?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to You know, perhaps the real truth in it is…

          and fairly accurate.

          There is the talk about telling kids to wait to have sex, but the best sex of my LIFE was between the ages of 16 and 22. (met wife at 24….)

          Maybe the good thing about NOT having that good sex would be that my expectations would not be as high NOW, because I have a frame of reference to compare it to.

        • #3271899

          Generation gap?

          by jardinier ·

          In reply to Lateral thinking?

          When I was in the age group you specify (late 1950s – early 1960s) there was so much taboo and lack of knowledge about sex that many/most members of my generation had their WORST sex in their early years.

          You may have heard of the Australian actress, Rachel Ward (who married Australian actor Bryan Brown).

          In an article she wrote about her views on anesthesia for child birth, she stated: “My first bonk was such a disaster that I didn’t try it again until I got married.”

          Thus has been the story of many a person of my vintage.

          I reached the age of 42 before I experienced (with a compatible partner) standard-setting sex.

        • #3271781

          80’s and rock-n-roll

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Generation gap?

          it was all good.

          was the wild long hair, traveling with bands. into all the sports, so I USED to be in great shape…. :O (round isn’t a shape?)

          a good date was a six-pack and the back of my van.

          a GREAT date left four beers for the next night! ]:)

          and the best sex was with the 17/18 year old girls. (yes, I was still in that age bracket while running with the 17 year olds….)

          I think MTV had a lot to do with it! Women in leather. mmmmmmm.

          All you had to do was put in a Bon Jovi tape and panties went flying!

        • #3086921

          Who is Bon Jovi?

          by jardinier ·

          In reply to 80’s and rock-n-roll

          I am SO ancient that I stopped following pop music in the mid sixties — The Beatles and ABBA.

          HOWEVER, as for the back of a van, for me it was across the back seat of my car, or sometimes a camping body according to the vehicle.

          This was performed in dark places — usually near the ocean.

          Anyone who has NOT experienced illicit sex in a vehicle at night in a romantic setting, well, what can I say? You have missed out on a priceless part of your education.

        • #3086767

          formula rock

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Who is Bon Jovi?

          Bon Jovi was a pop machine that would crank out “hits” using the same formula for everything they did.

          Big claim to fame was being a bunch of pretty boys dancing around in the videos. Hey, whatever got the girls humming.

          They had a FEW songs that would be classified as “good” but nothing that could be classified as “great”.

          You MUST have heard some of it in the mid to late 80’s but just didn’t know what it was.

          Also, Jon Bon Jovi (lead singer) was touring with John Kerry for the 04 election. Just showed how far he had sunk that he would be lowered to that level.

        • #3086501

          Bon Jovi

          by jardinier ·

          In reply to Who is Bon Jovi?

          I am familiar with the names of the leading rock bands of the past three decades, but the “music” does not appeal to me.

          Oz has rather strong feelings about American “formula rock.”

          I still love the popular music of the fifties and early sixties. Elvis, Bill Haley, the Everley Brothers, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis and so forth.

          This was the music I jived to. I have sheet music and recordings of most of this.

          Back in my day, one of the greatest challenges was to unclip a girl’s bra while manoeuvering in a parked car.

          Many aspiring young men entered pharmacies and came out with a toothbrush which they didn’t need, if you get my drift.

    • #3100462

      Speaking of men getting older, isn’t it Neil’s birthday today.

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      Have a good one, guy.

      [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

    • #3100967

      An old saying

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to Older men are better – but I always knew that!!!

      I’m not as good as I once was,
      but I’m as good as I ever was once.

      • #3271897

        Another saying

        by jardinier ·

        In reply to An old saying

        Confucius say: Better to have old hen than pullet.

Viewing 8 reply threads