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One and only Wednesday Yuk

By santeewelding ·
Tags: Off Topic
I was shopping at the market where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of Romaine
A 2lb can of coffee
And
A one-pound package of bacon

As I unloaded them on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier rang up the sale, the drunk said, "You must be single."

I was startled, but intrigued, since I was indeed single. I saw nothing among the items that would tip the drunk off to my marital status.

Curiosity got me.

"Well, you know what? I am. How on earth did you know?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

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that is when

by jdclyde In reply to ya

the jagerbombs come in..... ;\


and yes, my new bottle 'o scotch is almost gone...

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kinda

by Shellbot In reply to that is when

got a taste for the jager..minus the bomb that is..red bull is revolting

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"The chickens are revolting!"

by jdclyde In reply to kinda

"we finally agree on something......."

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haha

by Shellbot In reply to kinda

:)

i gotta go slam my head in the door..
forgot my glasses today and my head is aching..
pc with no glasses make shell go something-somthing

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hate when I forget my glasses

by jdclyde In reply to kinda

I only use them to get my left eye in focus, and can operate fine without them.

The trouble I will get is trying to read a computer screen or read, if I don't keep my left eye closed I get a killer headache.


I do so hope someone out there recognizes my previous quote and where it is from? ThingOne and I say that all the time.... makes me laugh. ha. ha ha. ha HA ha.

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:^0 -- please send the patch

by The Scummy One In reply to Foot-And-Mouth Believed T ...

I must have missed the update :^0

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"You May be a Taliban If........"

by jdclyde In reply to One and only Wednesday Yu ...

"You May be a Taliban If........"

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean.."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

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When you run out of those

by santeewelding In reply to "You May be a Taliban If. ...

Look in nearby threads for more hardheaded adherence and blind inconsistencies.

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crime stats

by jdclyde In reply to One and only Wednesday Yu ...

An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote:

"If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington , DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the US , than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The US should pull out of Washington ."

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