General discussion


Speaker phones are an evil scourge

By Montgomery Gator ·
I work in a cubicle farm with 8 other developers. We are surrounded by other IT groups, such as the network group and the server farm group. For some unknown reason, the other groups seem to be very fond of using the speaker phones, but we see no need to use them. I have mentioned this concern to my boss, and he agrees, there is no need for these people to use the speaker phones and disturb the rest of the department. He has spoken to the other supervisors, but to no avail, other than a (very) short term reduction in this annoying activity. Any suggestions? Also, can someone explain the reason why people would use speaker phones? Is it because they are oblivions? Is it because they are sociopaths? Maybe they enjoy annoying people? Are they too lazy to pick up and hold the receiver? Do they think they do not look good if they use a headset? Or are they self-important? Other than this sick behaviour, I otherwise get along quite well with these other people, and have a good working relationship. I have not talked to them directly about this, since my supervisor prefers for me to go through channels and talk to him about it instead of going to them directly.

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The Southern Solution

by BFilmFan In reply to Speaker phones are an evi ...

Being a Southern gentleman myself, I know that you request once and maybe twice, they cease their annoying behavior. And when they do not, then sir, it is time for the ultimate Southern Solution....WhoopA$$.

Instructions for applying WhoopA$$ correctly:

Secure proper size can of WhoopA$$. You should note that a small 1.5 oz can may be enough for a small issue. For a larger issue, such as yours, a 55-gallon oil drum may be called for.

Get the brush of total righteous indignation. Note these also come in various sizes from the miniscule "Miffed" (which is very popular with ladies) to the extremely large "Damn Did That Hurt Boy? Looked Like it Hurt" industrial spray appliance.

Sometimes, you may need some assistance in applying the WhoopA$$. Being a biker, I prefer about 300 heavily tatooed and seldom washed friends. Believe me that a load of bikers and a 55-gallon drum of WhoppA$$ can be a load in your pants dropping sight and experience!

Note that when applying the WhoopA$$ with your friends you should turn and say, "Righteous man!" at timely intervals.

And always remember that a little WhoopA$$ goes a long way.


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Eastern Canadian option(s)

by dafe2 In reply to The Southern Solution

Option 1:

A dirty look................and wire cutters

Option 2:

Call in an American friend for some WhoopA$$

Option 3:

Stick sewing needles under the finger nail of the offenders dialing finger if 1 & 2 don't work.

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I still think my idea work best

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Eastern Canadian option(s ...

Walk over to the offending person {After all you have to start with someone so make it the most high profile person in the place} rip their phone out of the socket and throw it into the rubbish or if you are on a floor other than the ground out the window, then smile politely and ask the person have you been told today.

After you have done this several times they will begin to understand that you have become adversely affected by what is going on and will either send you away for a long holiday at a health retreat {Funny Farm} to recover your sanity or take the message and get the idea that they are way out of line. In this day and age they couldn't fire you for doing this particularly as there is a history of complaints already made about this very problem so they would have to treat you for the problem.

Now when you return after your holiday the rest of the staff will have been told just how sick you where and not to do anything that may tip you over the edge again or the company will be facing a MAJOR law suit. God I love the PC 2000's as back in the good old days I would just have grabbed something part way heavy and thrown it at the worst offender until he stopped and then started on someone else. They learn very fast what you don't like and what not to do when you are around. Naturally you just might be upsetting someone else as well so you had to keep a eye open for heavy flying objects just to make sure that they didn't hit you in the back of the head, but you learned very quickly what was acceptable and what wasn't acceptable in any office.

Col ]:)

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True ennough.........& same here

by dafe2 In reply to I still think my idea wor ...

Back in the 'old days' in Canada you could just hang the offender by the 'balls' out the eight floor window till they turn blue.....

Nowadays you can't even look at someone sideways without fearing a harasement suit.

Well....................I could use a 'vacation' LOL

mmmmmm......I like the way you think Colin.

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All of the above.

by deepsand In reply to Speaker phones are an evi ...

It's probably a mix of the possible reasons that you mentioned. However, knowing such isn't going to solve your problem.

It's interesting to note that your supervisor does not want you & the others in your group to contact your peers in the offending groups re. the problem; yet, by contacting only the supervisors of those groups, he has merely tried to handle it at a peer-to-peer level!

At this point, the matter needs to be escalated to the next level up the chain of command. If your supervisor will not do so, then you have every right to.

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Update on situation

by Montgomery Gator In reply to Speaker phones are an evi ...

My boss has talked to those in charge of the offenders (and one of "those in charge" is one of the offenders). So far, the situation seems to have improved. Still noisy, but not as bad, and speaker phone activity has reduced a good bit to minimal. I enjoyed all of your suggestions, including HAL 9000's crazed maniac idea and BFilmFan's WhoopA$$ suggestion (which might have worked. Being in Alabama, we are quite familiar with WhoopA$$, and I have seen it for sale in cans, at the gym, where it is an energy drink). All of the suggestions (especially the violent ones or ones involving sabotage) were fun fantasies I ran through in my imagination, but going through channels seems to have worked for now. My boss said to let him know if the problem returns (which it probably will).

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